The Measure of Hope
by TKAMB
Summary: COMPLETE. SEQUEL TO THE MEASURE OF LOVE. The gang found it hard coping with a five year old girl, how will they cope with the girl being 15, enrolled in university three years early, and dealing with issues of every 15 year old girl?
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: Hey everyone!**** Well the messages I got about a sequel were positive so here is chapter one! It is set ten years after my first story. The gang found it tough coping with a five year old, what about now when she is fifteen, enrolled in university three years early and coping with her illness as well as the problems of being a teenage girl? I hope you enjoy and thanks to all that have read and reviewed my previous story as well as this one! TKAMB aka Becky)**

**Chapter 1:**

**September 2001**

Roger sat on the couch in the loft plucking the strings on his guitar. He couldn't get the Fender guitar to tune which began to irritate him. He lowered the guitar and walked across the room to the window. He looked out to the street and saw the leaves on the trees were turning brown already, it being strange to him that everything had changed but he was still the same, even his hair cut had stayed the same. Amy once referred to Mark and Roger as the hedgehog and the lion's main due to their hair styles. Ten years was a long time and although he may not have changed that much, his illness was taking its toll as it was with Tom. He was thinner then he used to be and found he was tired more then he used to be. Tom was much worse than he was but they all still lived life as if it were their last as it was all they knew. Seeing the brown leaves made him feel suddenly depressed. "Fall already?" he muttered to himself. He had always hated the fall and couldn't think of it being so at the beginning of September

"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness?" he heard a familiar voice say and he turned around to see Amy who was now fifteen stood in her bedroom doorway dressed in her dressing gown smiling with her long hair down. She leant against the doorway with her arms folded. She had only changed slightly in appearance since she was young. Her eyes were still sparkling blue with pale skin. Her hair had changed to be dirty blonde and had grown to be down to half way down her back with soft ringlets Roger couldn't help smiling

"I'm turning forty soon and my fifteen year old daughter is starting university so I think that validates it!" he explained

"In your head not mine" Amy responded and strolled back into her room. Roger felt so proud of Amy. As soon as she had come back into his life after the custody battle she began to study at home and gained her high school diploma at the age of six. It was from that point that she began to go with Roger to his work and understand the world of the music industry. He had earned enough money for them to live comfortably and could have moved into a mansion if they wanted but the loft would forever be their home. Mark had moved out and married Tamsin so the loft now only housed the two of them. They no longer had to worry about rent or Benny as Roger had bought the building off him. The building had now become a place of refuge for people who attended Life Support and needed somewhere to go as Roger and Amy wanted to give back to the group that helped them so much. It was something Amy felt strongly about and helped him with constantly over the years. Now the need to have a real life and attend school like a normal person and meet people appealed to her. Although she was three years younger than the other students would be she wasn't going to let that get her down, she saw it as her form of a unique quality that would help her out. The phone rang and the machine picked it up

"SPEAK" echoed through the room

"Hey! It's Mark! You still haven't fixed the buzzer! Throw down the keys we're all here" Mark's voice filled the room

"Yeah and we are bloody freezing!" Maureen added and Roger headed for the balcony

"Oh great, as if I wasn't already nervous enough" Roger heard Amy say before standing on the balcony

"Hey!" Roger yelled and threw down the keys to the group

"Did you have to change your locks?" Mark yelled up

"Yeah to keep out the riff raff!" Roger called back making Tom laugh. Roger re – entered the loft and saw Amy had left her bedroom once more. She had left her hair down and was dressed in a pair of jeans, a pair of knee length three inch heeled pale pink suede boots, a white V neck blouse with a grey V neck jumper giving her extra insulation from the cold and a fitted brown jacket that stopped at her hips. She wore a simple silver necklace, her watch and a ring from her mother's jewellery she had kept. Her eyes sparkled as she spun around for him with a raised eyebrow

"Well? Is it too much?" she asked before biting her bottom lip

"Wow, you look wonderful. No strike that you look far too mature for your age; go change" Roger said to which Amy rolled her eyes

"Wrong answer! Daddy I'm not a child, you can trust me" she explained and Roger smiled

"I know ... you look beautiful" he muttered defeated

"Right answer" she giggled and the door to the loft opened

"And so the bohemia baby cake takes her first steps of future education. Now at the tender age of fifteen she is starting her first day of university and it will be the first time she will have been educated amongst others. A legendary day for anyone" Mark said filming her from the doorway making Amy laugh. It had been a week or so since she had seen the others so it was a welcomed reunion and she hugged them all

"Hasn't our baby grown up?" Maureen asked making Amy giggle

"How's Tamsin?" Roger asked

"Oh fine but she is starting to really hate me again" Mark explained rolling his eyes

"Well you did get her pregnant for the third time at the point when she was up for a promotion" Roger justified it

"Oh she's happy, she's just letting her anger out on you Marky, it'll fade" Amy said and gave a twirl for the camera. "Daddy wants me to change as I look too mature, what do you think?" Amy asked striking a few posses

"Ah! Is the daddy scared that baby cakes will attract a boy? That is so cute" Joanne asked in a baby voice as she put her arm around Roger

"No! ... not really" Roger muttered lowering his head. Maureen giggled and came to Roger's right side and kissed his cheek

"Daddy you can trust me" Amy said once more putting her bag on her shoulder

"So what is the deal today exactly?" Mark asked

"It's orientation day which us teachers like to call free week" Tom said sitting on one of the chairs in the kitchen. It had been ten years that he never thought he would see. He was a lot thinner and weaker then he used to be but he didn't let that stop him

"Basically today is when we register, sign up to groups and meet people. The lectures don't start until next week" Amy explained

"Thus free week for me!" Tom responded with a smile

"I guess I'll finish when I finish today but since it starts at 9am I'm sure I'll be done about 1pm" Amy explained

"Ok well I have to be in meetings this morning but I can meet you if you like for lunch?" Roger suggested

"Yeah, I'd like that ... well I had better go. Ok butterflies just filled my stomach!" Amy giggled before taking a breath to calm her stomach

"Well do you want me to drop you off? I can go if you're not feeling well, are you ok you look pale?" Roger said a little frazzled and very concerned

"I think it is called nerves. I'll be fine alone on the subway. I know this city like the back of my hand and I'm not a silly little girl anymore. I have to go or I'll be late, so give me a hug" she commanded and Roger did as he was told

"Have a blast today ok?" Roger said as they hugged and Amy nodded

"Come on group hug!" Maureen commanded and everyone complied

"Ok I really have to go or I'll be late!" Amy said grabbing her blue and white stripe scarf from the side

"You have all your documents? Your meds? Your beeper? Your ID? Wallet? Keys?" Roger asked all to which Amy nodded

"Yeah and a have my bottle of mace as well!" she giggled

"Good luck kiddo!" Tom said

"Yeah have a great day" Mark said

"You deserve it" Maureen said

"We're really proud of you" Roger said

"Yeah and kick some ass!" Joanne said making Amy giggle as she left the loft. Walking through the streets of New York Amy felt herself somehow strutting with a new found confidence. She entered the subway and put on her CD walkman with a collection of rock music to keep her company on the journey. It was only when she was sat on the subway alone that it really hit her that she was at a new level of life experience and although she was smiling inside she was terrified. She had never been around so many people except for when she was at Saint Josephs but she was shunned out and left alone so she didn't regard that as a proper school experience. This was the real deal. To keep her mind off it she opened her bag and pulled out a familiar book. It was the hard back note book that Mark had bought her when she was five and it was full of her writing, loose papers and sheet music. She always read it to calm her nerves and today it would be what George used to be to her as a child, a form of safety blanket

-----

Amy nervously walked through the reception area of the university and was startled to see people juggling, on stilts, handing out balloons, anything they could to promote the various clubs they were promoting

"Hello, honey! Do you want as balloon?" a boy asked putting his arm around her

"No thanks, I'm not five anymore" she responded with a smile. Looking around she saw something that quickly made her smile fade. A camera crew and photographers were peering through the window. They must have followed her as she hadn't seen anyone but she knew they wouldn't be able to enter the building without being arrested. She instantly walked away into a deeper part of the building where they couldn't get to her as a security guard approached them. She had loved and loathed the press. Half the time they are interested in the update of her illness and her life since she was five and the other half they were interested on her private life as she was the daughter of a well known and wealthy songwriter. She pulled out her cell phone and dialled her home number as she leant up against a pillar

"SPEAK" she heard and let out a sigh

"Guys I know your there pick –"

"Amy, what is it what's wrong?" Rogers's panicked voice came to her ear

"Daddy I fine ... the press followed me here. They're outside waiting for me I don't know what to do!" she explained

"Have you told the staff at the campus?"

"No but a security guard approached them as I walked away. What do I do?" she asked confused

"Look, don't focus on it. Just carry on as usual. I'll contact the university and try and get rid of them. I'll still come and pick you up at midday out front ok?" Roger said

"Ok then, I'll see you soon" Amy hung up the phone and headed for the girls toilets. She stood in front of the mirror and took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. She heard someone flush one of the toilets and from a cubicle behind her came a girl. Amy was instantly struck by her beauty. She had smooth chocolate brown skin with long straight black hair and was tall and thin. She walked up to one of the basins and smiled at Amy

"Hi" she aid and begun to wash her hands

"H ... hi" Amy said nervously suddenly feeling scared meeting a stranger and not understanding why she felt so. Amy turned to look at the mirror and out of the corner of her eye she saw the girl look her up and down as she dried hands with paper towels

"I'm sorry if I sound rude but there is no way your 18 your skin is too perfect to be 18. God I wish I had your eyes too they are gorgeous!" Amy laughed and looked at her

"Thanks, I'm 15, I got my high school diploma early so now I'm here" Amy explained

"Early huh? Three years is a lot to cram into your mind isn't it?" she asked throwing away the wet paper towels

"Actually I got it when I was six" Amy explained and the girl raised an eyebrow

"Well I know who I'll be studying with for the next three years!" the girl laughed making Amy relax. "I'm Jane Simmons by the way" she held out her right hand which Amy shook

"Amy – Rose Davis, it's nice to meet you. You're the first person I've met here. Is life always this nerve wracking?"

"You haven't seen anything yet honey. Stick we me and I'll help you out. Have you registered yet because I haven't?" Jane asked and Amy shook her head. "Well let's go then" Jane headed for the door

"Do we have to walk through reception?"

"No we can go around the back if you like? You've seen someone you know?" Jane asked

"Something like that" Amy admitted picking up her stuff

"An ex – boyfriend?" Jane asked and Amy nodded as she knew Jane wouldn't believe the truth. "Poor baby, come on, we'll register, hit the bar and you can tell me all about the bastard!" Amy laughed and Jane linked her arm through Amy's before they walked through the door

-----

"What do you want?" Jane asked as they entered the bar pulling out her wallet as a barman approached

"I'll have a bottle of still water please" she said to him and he walked off to get it

"Is that all? You're at university now girl. You have to drink it is the first law of being a student" Jane explained

"At 11:30am? I'm ok thanks, besides my dad is picking me up to go to lunch together so I think smelling of alcohol will not go down well" Amy explained and pulled out her wallet

"I'll get it honey, don't you worry. Make you feel better" Jane said

"You don't have it to it's only a dollar"

"A dollar which I can afford, besides I'm the eldest so I'll pay now do as your told and put that wallet away" Amy did as she was told and Jane ordered a beer. "So you live in New York then? I'll have to get you to show me the sights around here. I'm from Oklahoma and live on campus. I have to share a house with a bunch of other people which can be a drag but I love being away from home. See the world you know?" Jane explained and they headed for a free table

"I'd love to give you a tour. It is a great city once you get used to it. I'm not from New York originally, I moved here when I was four to live with my dad when my mum died" Amy admitted

"Oh I'm so sorry" Jane apologised

"No need to apologise, it was a long time ago. I don't really focus on it much anymore ... sometimes it just blindsides me. I'm sorry I shouldn't be unloading my burdens on you" Amy apologised looking at the table

"Hey, it's what I'm here for. I am a friend now after all" Jane said nudging Amy's arm making Amy smile

"Hey, as a friend, tell me the truth. Do you like my shoes?" Jane giggled and nodded

"I certainly do" Jane said

"I have this friend call Maureen and she said that if a girl is a real friend then she will tell you what she really thinks of your shoes"

"I think I like your friend" Jane laughed. At that moment their table was jolted by a boy but luckily they were able to grab their drinks in time

"I'm so sorry" the boy said and Amy shook her head

"Don't worry; if you got any of this on my suede boots then I'd make you sorry!" Amy said with a smile and the boy smiled back. He was tall with short light brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing blue jeans, a thick black polo neck jumper and a brown jacket. She instantly noticed the large professional camera hanging around his neck

"Oh hey Dolton, Amy Rose Davis this is Nicholas Dolton he's one of my housemates" Jane explained and Nicholas nodded. "You want to join us?" Jane asked

"Sure, if that's ok with you?" Nicholas asked turning to Amy

"Sure" she responded and moved her bag off the table so he had room to rest his bag on it as well as his camera. "What's the camera for?" Amy asked instantly and felt herself tensing up dreading his answer

"It's why I'm here! I'm studying photography and 2D art. What about you?" Amy felt somewhat better but still felt tense meeting a stranger

"English Literature and drama"

"No way! I'm doing English literature and drama as well; I'm so studying with you now! Amy here is quite the brain box, she's only fifteen and got her diploma at 6" Jane boosted

"Wow, I am impressed. Too bad you're not doing art as well then I'd be safe" he explained with a smile making Amy smile

"Do you want a drink man? I owe you from last night remember" Jane asked standing up

"Yeah, a beer thanks" Jane headed for the bar and Amy felt uncomfortable as Nicholas sat staring at Amy

"What?" she asked

"Sorry for staring but ... You look so familiar ... Do I know you?" Amy shook her head

"Sorry, no. I guess I just have one of those faces you know?" Amy lied mentally counting down when he would suddenly remember but to her surprise such a revelation never came

"You must do. Sorry, I have this thing about people. I guess it is because I prefer them as a subject for my photos" he explained. Amy was about to respond but her cell phone began to ring. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was Roger

"Could you excuse me for a moment?" she asked and walked across the room. "Hey, did you get rid of them?"

"I tried but they may have just moved down to the street so either way you're going to be pictured leaving. Look I'm on my way, I'm only down the road so I'll be there is a minute. I can meet you at the side entrance that way I can get through the gates into the campus. You may be photographed walking to the car and in the car seat max! What do you say to that?"

"Sounds great, see you soon" she hung up and when she returned to her seat Jane was there once more

"Everything ok?" she asked

"Yeah, dad just called to say he was on his way" Amy explained and sat back down

"So you're a New Yorker?" Nicholas asked

"Yep you?"

"Connecticut" he replied. "Well being a New Yorker maybe you could explain all those photographers outside" Nicholas asked being taking a sip of his beer

"What photographers?" Jane asked

"You didn't see them? You must have gotten into the building before they arrived. There is a whole load of them out there. The police thought I was one of them too because of the camera, it was only until I showed them my registration documents that they let me through the gates. The police had to make them move off the campus but they are still outside for some reason. Any clue Amy?"

"Nope ... I had better go my dad will be here soon" Amy said standing up

"I'll walk out with you" Jane said

"NO! ... No you stay here keep Nicholas company. It was nice to meet you Nicholas" Amy said picking up her stuff

"You too" he smiled

"So I've got your contact details so I'll give you a call about meeting up in a couple of days then?" Jane asked and Amy nodded. Jane gave Amy a hug which surprised her making her instantly stiffen but Amy soon loosened up and hugged Jane back. As Amy walked to the side entrance of the campus she could feel her heart racing. She heard the car horn of Rogers Land Rover and she smiled softly. The photographers went wild as she quickly climbed into the car. Roger quickly turned the car around and they left the campus surrounded by hundreds of camera flashes. Amy let out a sigh of relief that it was over, little did she know that Nicholas had witnessed it all clutching her scarf which she had left in the bar


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

"So how was it then?" Roger asked before consuming a few fries from the polystyrene bowl in his hands. They had decided that their lunch out should be a walk through the city with some take away. Luckily the photographers were gone but they knew there would be others following them, hiding behind trees and lamp posts but they were just happy to get away from the large group outside the campus. A couple a few hundred metres away didn't annoy them

"It was great; apart from the fact I was asked why there were photographers outside the campus"

"They had no clue who you were?" Roger asked and Amy shook her head

"Nope, that's one positive thing about meeting people that are not from around here. I know you are known worldwide but New York is the centre of the universe you know?" Amy explained before consuming some of her chips

"So what did you come up with an excuse?" Roger asked

"I said I didn't know. Nicholas thought it was a New York thing, some big event on that he wouldn't know of as he isn't from here" Amy explained looking at her fries

"So you met a guy?"Roger asked with a smile and a suggestive tone towards the prospect of Nicholas. Amy looked up at Roger and raised an eyebrow

"Daddy he is one of the housemates of my new friend Jane. I only met him right before you called" she explained and Roger laughed

"I'm only teasing you" he said wrapping his right arm around her shoulders. It was then he noticed her shivering and his smile faded. "Are you cold?" he asked and she nodded

"I can't find my scarf. I had it in the bar. I must have lost it in that rugby scrum as we left campus" Amy explained and Roger softly ran his hand up and down her right arm to try and warm her up

"Come on, let's go home"

"But we haven't finished lunch" Amy moaned

"We'll get some more on the way, come on. I'll but you some chocolate as well but only if you eat all your lunch" he said in his fatherly tone

"Yes daddy!" Amy said like a five year old making them both laugh. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her forehead as she smiled. With his arm still wrapped around her shoulders they walked back to the car and headed for home, stopping off for more food on and chocolate on the way. All Amy could think of for the rest of that day was something he couldn't stop focusing on. It suddenly hit her that she had not thought about her mother at all which led her into a quite state of depression so she locked herself in her bedroom for the rest of the day, only coming out when Roger told her it was time to meet with the gang

-----

"So how was it then?" Maureen asked as the group sat in the Life Cafe having dinner

"Not bad" Amy said staring at the plate full of food which she knew she couldn't eat

"Not bad? Is that all we are getting?" Tamsin asked raising an eyebrow. She had managed to tag along as her morning sickness which tended to last all day had lessoned so she was finally able to go out and eat in public once more. Mark and Tamsin's two boys Conner, 8 and Todd, 5 had come with them

"Yep pretty much since that was all it was" Amy explained pushing her food about on her plate

"Are you not hungry?" Joanne asked and Amy shook her head pushing her plate away

"I'll have it I'm starving!" Conner said and Amy handed over her plate to him

"Me too!" Todd added and reached towards the plate

"No my stomach isn't focused on food right now. I had a large lunch with dad" she explained

"That and she met a boy" Roger added making Amy glare at him

"Really?" Mark asked raising an eyebrow

"It isn't like that; he's one of the housemates of my friend Jane"

"And there is a girl?" Tom asked raising his eyebrow making the others laugh

"Tom stop it!" Amy said throwing a napkin at him making Tom laugh

"Oh ignore them Amy" Joanne said making Amy smile. All of a sudden she felt tears come to her eyes for no apparent reason. Luckily her cell phone began to ring distracting her.

"Excuse me" she said standing up. She walked out of the double doors of the cafe and in the cold air she answered the call. "Hello?" she asked gingerly

"Hey girl! Are you busy?" Jane's high spirited voice asked. Amy couldn't reply as tears began to fall from her eyes. She crossed the street and leant up against a brick wall. "Amy? Are you there?" Jane asked

"Yep!" Amy responded closing her eyes and running her free hand through her hair

"What's wrong?" Jane asked concerned instantly recognising that Amy was going through something bad

"What makes you think something is wrong?" Amy asked

"This will be the first and last time I'll use my advance in years against you as quite frankly it's unfair and I hate admitting I'm older then someone so here it is: I can tell because I'm older then you. I've been through trying to cover up how I really feel. So what is it?" Jane asked

"I don't know" Amy admitted breaking down crying. She sank to the ground and dried her cheeks

"Why did I order this again? I have no idea what I was thinking of?" Tom said trying to eat his meatless spaghetti and meatballs

"Oh trying to turn back the clock to good old times perhaps?" Roger asked

"Viva bohemia!" Maureen said throwing her arms up into the air before dancing her carefully choreographed dance moves from her peace protest making everyone laugh and smile remembering the past

"Hey Uncle Roger?" Todd asked approaching Roger

"Yes?" he asked picking up the boy and placing him on his lap. "What can I do for you?"

"Why is Amy crying?" everyone looked confused

"What are you talking about honey?" Tamsin asked and saw Conner looking out of the window and looked to see Amy crying. "Conner, come and eat your dinner now, Amy doesn't want you watching in on her conversation" Tamsin said and the boy did as he was told. Roger had lowered Todd to the ground and walked to the window

"Is she ok?" he asked and watched Amy crying, a sight he had not seen of late

"You can ask her yourself, she's coming back in" Tamsin replied watching Amy stand up. The adults returned back to their seats while outside, unaware that she was being watched Amy dried her eyes and calmed herself down. She took a few deep breaths and finally walked through the door of the Cafe

"Daddy there is somewhere I need to be ok?" she said in one go, trying to avoid eye contact. She grabbed her leather jacket and her handbag

"Where do you think you're going?" Roger asked standing up

"To see Jane ok?" she asked putting on her jacket

"No" Roger replied and Amy instantly stopped fiddling with her jack and looked up at him. Roger had never said no to her

"Excuse me?" she asked raising an eyebrow

"You're not going anywhere"

"Oh drop the act" she muttered picking up her stuff

"What act?" Roger asked getting angry. "What has gotten into you?" he asked confused

"Oh I'm so sorry that I can actually think out of the box a little"

"Guys, you're taking this too far" Tom tried to stop the argument that was taking place but he was ignored by both

"This ... bubble you live in! The one where you think that because you're my dad that it automatically means you have some sort of control over me. The fame, the press, the constant worry that everyone is going to find out who I am, why my beeper keeps on going off and it's your entire fault! I am the one who has to pick up all the crap in your life and deal with it. It is the one thing that you rely on and it is suffocating me. I see right through it and I can't cope with it right now ... all of this it's too much I can't do it" Amy explained her voice cracking with emotion

"Then tell me what's wrong and I can help you cope" Roger asked and Amy looked up to the ceiling laughing softly

"Jesus Christ you don't get it do you? ... and you never will?" she asked looking back at him. "Look I need to be on my own" She tried to walk past him but he grabbed her right arm making her stop and look up at him. A silent tear fell from her right eye. "Let go of me" she snarled

"Sit down now" he said slowly in a sinister tone she had never heard before which terrified her

"Guys, ok let's calm down" Mark said standing up

"No I won't. Just because you couldn't stop Mimi from doing what she wanted, couldn't stop April from doing what she yearned for, couldn't stop my mother from being a free spirit it doesn't mean you are going to stop me! You deal with your baggage by dumping it all on my to pick up all the bloody pieces so I have to deal with mine alone and the only way I'll do that is to get as far as the hell away from you as possible" she shrugged off his arm and ran out of the door leaving everyone including Roger in utter shock. No one had seen Amy like that and it made them wonder what was really going on in her head

-----

Jane placed a bottle of vodka on the coffee table in front of Amy who was sat on the floor and two large glasses. "I know you're under age but so am I! It should only be used when the occasion calls for it, and so now it calls for it" Jane explained with a smile. Amy dried her cheeks and let out a small laugh

"I think I actually agree with you" she looked around the room to see no one else was there. "Where are your other housemates?" she asked as Jane began to pour the vodka sitting next to Amy

"Out somewhere, first night at university they are all probably getting pissed and sleeping with the first person they meet"

"Sorry I'm keeping you from that" Amy said softly looking at the floor

"Please that is what I end up doing most nights. I deserve a night off, besides it's no fun when you're on your own. I'd rather be with a friend" Jane handed over one of the glasses and Amy took a sip. She had consumed alcohol before but didn't do so regularly. So when the vodka hit the back of her throat she instantly began to cough. "You ok?" Jane asked and Amy put the glass on the coffee table

"Yeah, just a little strong for my taste buds!"

"So what happened?" Amy shook her head slowly

"I don't know! I realised I had done something so wrong so I took it out on my dad when it wasn't his fault but then everything just went mad in my head! Me and my dad have never argued ... I spoke to you on the phone and when I went to leave something like this dark cloud took over my mind and all this stuff I had been bottling up all my life came pouring out for no reason! Then we got into a huge argument and I stormed out. God what's wrong with me? We have never been like this. This is all my fault, God why did I do this?!" Amy explained bringing her knees up into her chest

"You did it because you needed to. Your dad may not like it but you are growing up. You're a teenager and will break down like this. It's all a part of growing up, becoming a rebel! Believe me I have had screaming matches with both my parents all of which end up with me storming out and trying to take control of my life. All of which end up with me going back to them because they are my parents. I need them and you need your dad too" Jane explained. At that moment Amy's cell phone began to vibrate on the coffee table. She had become sick of hearing it ring but couldn't bring herself to turn it off so she set it on vibrate. It had been the fifth time he had called since she left the cafe an hour earlier

"He's going to call all night isn't he?" Amy asked

"Oh yeah! ... But it's your choice to answer the phone or not. I can't force you to do it but you are going to have to talk to him" Amy continued to watch the phone vibrate for a few minutes until it stopped

"I don't think I can right now" Amy said softly

"Well I can't promise a comfortable nights sleep but the couch is totally free for a friend" Jane explained making Amy smile softly

"Thanks Jane ... you know I've never really had a best friend before. I had a very sheltered upbringing so I don't really cope well with strangers. I'm glad I have someone to talk to"

"You're welcome, now have some more of that drink and you'll defiantly sleep through the night" Amy laughed and reached for her glass. As she did she noticed her scarf hanging off the windowsill

"My scarf!" Amy said turning to Jane

"Oh yeah, Nicholas found it in the bar. He went to tell you but you had already gone"

"He ... he left the bar to find me?" Amy clarified and Jane nodded

"Yeah but when he came back he said you had just driven off with your dad. That's why I was calling you. I was going to call earlier but I got distracted by a guy called Clive in the bar. Nice guy, cute butt!" Amy giggled and shook her head

"I wish I had your confidence Jane!"

"I wish I had your skin complexion honey, want to trade for the evening?" Jane asked holding up her glass

"Why not!" Amy giggled and knocked her glass against Jane's before taking a sip. That night Amy slept on the couch but her sleep would only last for half hour stints as her phone would vibrate and wake her. Also she had chills that night which made her shiver and sweat constantly. She was lying awake when Jane awoke the next morning at 7am

"Oh God what is wrong with me? It's before 10am and I'm awake?" Jane asked as she stumbled out of her bedroom

"You didn't get drunk so you're sober now and good morning!" Amy smiled

"Did you sleep ok?"

"So so! Thanks for putting up with me"

"No problem" Jane replied sitting on the couch next to Amy. At that moment the door opened and a rather exhausted looking Nicholas entered

"Hello" he said confused on seeing Amy

"Amy crashed here last night, she fell out with her dad" Jane explained

"Yeah ... I know, I read about it" Jane looked at Amy confused then back to Nicholas who was watching Amy intensively as a familiar feeling of dread hit the pit of Amy's stomach

"You saw me get into the car didn't you?" Amy asked and Nicholas slowly nodded. "I couldn't just come out and say it; it isn't something you just blurt out you know?" Amy tried to defend herself

"I'm sorry but you're really confusing me" Jane explained feeling like she was five and playing a game of piggy in the middle

"Amy is a celebrity" Nicholas explained and pulled out a couple of newspapers that he was holding behind his back

"What?" Jane asked confused. All over the front pages were images of Amy in university, at the gates and with Roger as he had kissed her forehead in Central Park

"No, I'm a celebrity's daughter! My dad is a famous song writer known worldwide. I'm the one caught in the middle between him and the press. There is a difference between being a celebrity and a celebrity's daughter" Amy justified it

"You lied to us?" Jane asked looking at the papers

"Wouldn't you have lied to me? Besides you never asked so I never told you anything. Why else do you think I'm the way I am? As soon as I am presented to someone and I'm referenced to my father they becoming this fake person who is only interested in me for my status. But you guys liked me before you even knew that" Amy tried to explain herself

"You still lied to us!" Nicholas responded folding his arms

"Technically she didn't lie to us Dolton" Jane defended Amy

"She totally did! She sat there in the bar and told us she had no idea why the press were outside! How can you claim that isn't a lie?" Nicholas asked, his voice getting louder with each word

"It isn't a lie because as a friend I don't take it as being a lie! Stop being a pompous ass and be a friend. Listen to her and be there like I am ok?"

"I'm going to go" Amy said standing up. She walked over to the door but Jane got ahead of her and pinned herself up against the door

"No don't"

"It's ok, I have to go see dad. Face my issues you know" Jane nodded and hugged Amy close. "I'll call you later and tell you how it went ok?" Jane nodded and opened the door. "Nicholas ... I –"

"Don't ... just go Amy. I don't appreciate being lied to by an immature girl. You played me for a fool and I can't deal with you right now" he explained with his back to her. Amy lowered her head as tears filled her eyes

"I know how you feel Nicholas, you may not believe me but you will. I have serious issues and if you don't believe me look me up on the internet I'm sure you'll find them there. Or you can be a friend and give me time to be able to tell you. I'm not perfect God knows it but I need people I can actually trust in my life. Please don't let this be the last we talk" Nicholas walked away into his room and Amy left the halls of residence with tears flowing down her cheeks

-----

Amy took a deep breath as she walked up the stairs to the loft. She was bracing herself for the conversation that was about to take place. As she did a fresh batch of tears hit her eyes and with shaking hands she unlocked the front door.

"Amy, where the hell have you been?" Mark asked hugging her as soon as she stepped in the door. Amy didn't respond, he just gently hugged him back until he let go. She walked across the room to see the whole gang where in the loft; Conner and Todd were fast asleep on the couch covered in blankets

"We were going to call the police" Tom explained hugging her

"We looked everywhere for you, thank God your safe" Joanne asked

"Where were you?" Maureen asked

"Amy answer us!" Mark demanded in an angry tone that Amy had never heard Mark use

Amy wouldn't respond to any of the questions, she just made her way across the apartment to the window seat. There, sat perfectly still up against the window was Roger, phone in hand and looking like he hadn't slept all night. They shared a glace for a few moments before Amy broke the silence

"I can't remember what mum looked like" she said softly and closed her eyes. She hunched over as the tears fell and felt Roger wrap his arms around her, his head resting against hers

"Where were you? You scared me more than I've ever been in my life" he finally asked

"I'm sorry ... I went to university to stay with Jane and Nicholas ... I don't think that'll happen again. The papers beat me to telling them who I really was in the public eye"

"I'm sorry honey" he said softly before kissing her forehead

"It's ok, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm sorry for what I said to you daddy; I didn't mean it, I was angry and upset and confused and ..." she tried to apologise looking at Roger but he covered her mouth with a few of his fingers making her stop

"I know but it doesn't matter anymore. You're safe, that's the main thing" Amy closed her eyes as Roger kissed her forehead once more. There they sat for hours, the whole group talking everything over and listening to what she had to say. Being the support she needed in such a troubled time. The whole time of which Roger held her hand


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

"Alright Amy, this is it. The game to end all games after a tie of four games! You nervous?" Mark asked handing Amy the queue

"I'm so scared I'm shaking in my little boots!" Amy giggled. All the gang had come to the Life Cafe to have dinner. It had been a few days since her emotional breakdown but no one talked about it since Amy no longer wanted to confront it. She spent the days in the loft thinking about her mother and looking back at old photos to stir memories locked in her mind. The cafe had changed and expanded in recent years and new features like a pool table and darts had been added. Amy got off to a flying start kicking Mark's butt at the game which she always won over him

"These boots are made for walking! And that's just what they'll do! One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!" Amy sang one of her favourite songs softly as she played

"That is so lame" Mark commented

"Prove it; show me how it's done by winning!" Amy said holding out her right hand

"You're on!" Mark said shaking her hand

"So what does the winner want to drink?" Roger asked waking the bar

"Beer!" Mark called

"Lemonade!" Amy called at the same time

"I think he was talking to me" Mark indicated while Roger smiled

"Let's see shall we?" Amy pocketed another one of the balls but her smile for doing so faded quickly seeing the person in the doorway. She slowly stood up

"You get another go" Mark said indicating to the table but she didn't listen. Everyone took notice to what Amy was doing and the boy in the doorway

"Hey" Nicholas said softly with a smile stepping forward while Amy looked at him

"Hi" she responded turning her head away from him. Silence fell over the two and he held up the scarf

"I thought you might need this" he explained forcing her to look at him once more

"Thanks ... you can leave it on the table when you go" she explained and continued to play pool

"Amy I –" he tried to explain but she instantly stopped him

"Don't call me by my name ok? You have no right to do so, after all I'm just a naive little girl who lied and you don't want anywhere near you. I don't want you anywhere near me either so we are not on a first name basis. I don't appreciate you being here so do us both a favour and leave" she explained glaring at him before hitting one of the balls in her game of pool again, this time missing. She handed the queue over to Mark but instead of using it he stood and watched the scene as did everyone else

"Ok I deserved that ... I just came to say I'm sorry for what I said ... I was being a pompous ass"

"I'm sorry? You're are actually admitting you're a pompous ass?" she clarified walking towards him with her arms folded

"As much as I hate to say so ... Yes. Look I don't like to be lied to; I never have in my life. I thought by leaving home to go somewhere totally new to me I would escape all that crap of my life. Then I meet you and I get slapped across the face with a lie again. I guess I blew off the handle a bit but it's a flaw of mine that I can't seem to take control off ... because I can't bring myself to confront my flaw. I don't have your confidence"

"What confidence? Ok Amy – Rose Davis 101 I have the lowest self esteem then anyone in the world so I don't cope well with strangers and that is why my friends are so important in my life. I can't trust anyone which is why at the minute I can't trust you, I'm sorry ... How did you know I was here?" Amy asked taking a few steps closer

"I skimmed through those paper articles. One of them reported seeing you leaving here the other night crying. I gathered you would come back here so I've been here for a few days looking for you" he explained and Amy nodded

"So you're a student, a self proclaimed pompous ass, and a stalker?" she clarified

"I wasn't stalking you"

"You were just following me?"

"Technically I wasn't following you, I was looking for you. There is a difference" he explained

"Just like there is a difference between a lie and an asserted quietness?" Amy asked making Nicholas smile

"You're major is English Literature isn't it?" he asked and Amy nodded. "Jesus, I never would have thought you would be one of those" he muttered shaking his head

"One of what pray tell?" Amy asked softly

"One who hides who they really are behind big words and over the top fake confidence when the occasion calls for it because they are absolutely terrified of what people will think about their true self. But the other night, when you broke down that was real. It is someone you shouldn't hide Davis" he explained and her smile faded

"Davis?" she asked raising an eyebrow

"We aren't on first name basis so how about last name?" he suggested and she nodded

"Alright then Dolton! For now it'll do. That doesn't mean I'm ready to be a friend ok?"

"That is all I ask. Look Jane and me are going to the open mic night tomorrow on campus. We'll probably be deafened by all the drunk students getting up to sing but it'll be a laugh if you want to come along" Amy bit her bottom lip and thought for a moment

"I'll think about it" she said softly walking back to the pool table. Nicholas nodded and went to leave. "Hey Dolton" Nicholas turned around. "Did you look me up on the internet?"

"No, I wanted you to tell me the truth instead ... as a friend" Amy smiled softly and Nicholas tossed the scarf at her which she caught

"Thanks ... I'll see you around sometime? ... Maybe we could hang out with Jane after class next week?" she suggested

"Yeah ... If you want to" he left the Cafe and Amy looked at the scarf. She lowered it onto the table as the others gathered around

"So who was that then?" Roger asked coming to Amy's side

"That was Nicholas ... we sort of had a falling out the other day"

"Nicholas ... nice name" Tamsin commented

"Nice butt" Maureen said making Amy laugh

"I can't say I was actually noticing" she added turning away from the group making Maureen give everyone a 'yeah-right' look. Amy bent over the table and pocketed the black ball. "And that is how it's done!" she commented wrapping her right arm around Mark's shoulders

"I'm defeated! Truly" Mark said lowering his head in an over dramatic way

"Well here you go victory drink" Roger said handing Amy her lemonade

"Are you going to go out tomorrow night then?" Tom asked raising an eyebrow

"I don't know. Everyone on campus is going to know who I am now. I'll just be watched by everyone all evening" Amy said looking into her drink

"Well the same thing will be happening every time you go onto campus for the next three years. It may do you some good, have fun and get the first glances over and done with. It sounds like he really is sorry honey, maybe you should give him a chance" Roger said nudging her softly making her look up at him

"I'll think about it"

-----

Strolling in the university bar with Jane, Nicholas looked around hoping to see Amy. The place was packed with students but he couldn't see her anywhere. He let out a frustrated sigh and walked to the bar. The music was so load as well as the conversations around him that the only way you could hear the person next to you was to yell. "What are you having?" he heard someone yell behind him and turned to see Amy

"Amy! You made it!" Jane said hugging her making Amy smile

"I figured if I can't have fun at an open mic night then I never will have fun here! Besides the thought of us making complete fools of ourselves has made me smile all day! I was thinking I could crash on your couch again if that's ok?"

"Two nights now? We may have to start charging rent!" Nicholas commented making Amy laugh

"Well since that is settled first round in on me as after all I can afford it!"

"Two beers and whatever you're having" Jane said and Amy nodded. "I'll go find us a table" Jane ran off into the crowd and Nicholas smiled softly

"I'm glad you came" he yelled standing next to her

"Me too!" she smiled back and ordered their drinks. It took a further five minutes for them to make their way through the crowds and find Jane who was chatting up a boy at the next table making Amy laugh. The three of them spent the next hour having fun and listening to people singing away and also dancing like others were, occasionally being stopped by people wanting to take a picture with Amy. She was glad that she was bombarded as she had been in the past by people and hoped it would continue that way. One student caught her eye. It was the boy that was running the open mic night and introduced each student. He was tall with short black hair and big black eyes which seemed to mix well with his olive skin. Every now and then he would glance at her and smile whilst chewing the gum he had in his mouth. "Jane, who is that boy? The one running this show?" Amy asked as she danced with Jane near the front of the stage

"Oh don't even think it girl! That is Anthony De Angelo from Texas. He is of Italian heritage but grew up here in America. He's a second year student and is notorious on campus for being a ladies' man" Jane explained

"What makes you think I'm thinking of going near him?" Amy asked

"You ask about him then you're hooked honey trust me!" at that moment a spark came from the karaoke machine and the music stopped. Everyone moaned but luckily one of the microphones that wasn't linked to it was still working

"Sorry guys we are going to have to take a break while we sort the machine out but get a drink and chill out, we'll be back soon" Anthony said whilst everyone moaned. Amy saw the smoke coming from the machine and she turned to Nicholas

"I think it is going to take a while longer than a few minutes to sort that out!" she explained

"You think you can help then?" she heard behind her and turned to see Anthony stood on the stage in front of her with his arms folded still chewing his gum

"Maybe" he held out his hand which she accepted and climbed onto the stage. People began to talk and gather around seeing her up there. A few people pulled out their mobiles and began to take pictures as well as film her. "Let's have a look inside shall we?" she said as Anthony took off the back of the karaoke machine

"You've done this before?" he asked as she fiddled with the wires

"Nope not really! My mate Tom knows some wiring techniques which he taught me. I can't promise it will last but it may do for now. You'll need to get someone to come a fix it properly" she explained still staring at the wires

"So you are a celebrity, and a semi – technician?" he asked and she stopped to look at him

"You know who I am then?" to which he nodded. "You and everyone else"

"What else did you expect?"

"Something ... different. Are you treating me differently because I'm famous?" she asked turning back to the wires

"Let's see shall we?" Amy smiled softly and found the root of the problem. Two of the wires had separated from each other and she couldn't get them to stay together. She held out her right hand to him whilst still staring out the wires making him raise an eyebrow and look at her hand

"Do you mind if I have your gum?"

"What for?" he asked and she looked at him

"You'll see won't you?" he let the gum fall out of his mouth into her hand. She fiddled with it to form a ball and wrapped it around two of the wires to keep them together

"Do you really think that is going to work?" he asked and she looked at him

"I don't know but it is worth a try" she turned on the machine but nothing happened

"I guess you're not as good as you thought"

She banged her fist on the top of the machine as hard as she could making everyone in the room jump and the music started. She turned around to face him with a broad smile of pure satisfaction as the crowd cheered loudly. She saluted him and walked across the stage. "Wait!" Anthony called and she turned around. "Since you fixed the machine aren't you going to give us a tune?"

"I don't think so" she replied and Anthony grabbed the microphone

"Come on everyone, who wants to hear her sing?" the whole room went crazy and Amy smiled softly. She looked to Jane and Nicholas who were cheering and clapping along

"Ok, ok! Just one though" she said walked to Anthony who smiled

"She's going to do it!" the crowd cheered once more

"Do I get to make the choice?"

"Usually yes but I think I've got the perfect one for you" he explained placing the microphone back on the stand and placing the stand in front of her

"Is that a good thing?" she asked with a smile

"Yeah ... you can trust me can't you?" Amy thought for a few seconds and nodded. Anthony turned the microphone to him slightly to talk into it. "Well then, let's get started shall we? She fixed the machine and is now going to give us a song. Singing the classic 'Sway' it's Amy – Rose Davis!" the crowd went mad once more and Amy smiled as the familiar tune began. She began to sway to the music, took the microphone off the stand so she could walk about the stage, took a breath and began to sing

_When marimba rhythms start to play_

_Dance with me, make me sway_

_Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore_

_Hold me close, sway me more_

_Like a flower bending in the breeze_

_Bend with me, sway with ease_

_When we dance you have a way with me_

_Stay with me, sway with me_

She began to indicate to members of the crowd and held their outstretched hands as she danced and sang_Other dancers may be on the floor__Dear, but my eyes will see only you__Only you have that magic technique__When we sway I go weak_

Anthony walked up to her and she used him as a prop, leaning up against him

_I can hear the sounds of violins_

_Long before it begins_

_Make me thrill as only you know how_

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_Sway me, take me_

_Thrill me, hold me_

_Bend me, ease me_

_You have a way with me_

At that point there was a length of time of just music so Anthony came over and began to dance with her and the crowd began to cheer even more. He spun her around a few times and she began to sing once more still dancing around her

_Sway (sway)_

_Other dancers may be on the floor_

_Dear, but my eyes will see only you_

_Only you have that magic technique_

_When we sway I go weak__I go weak_

Anthony circled her running his hand across her stomach as she sang

_I can hear the sounds of violins_

_Long before it begins_

_Make me thrill as only you know how_

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_Make me thrill as only you know how_

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_Make me thrill as only you know how_

_Sway me smooth, sway me now_

_Sway me_

_Sway me_

_Sway me now_

At the last beat Amy put her arm around Anthony's shoulders and turned to face him making them both laugh

"Amy everyone! Give it up come on!" Anthony said into the microphone and Amy bowed. Anthony lowered the microphone and turned Amy. "I'm Anthony De Angelo by the way" he held out his right hand

"Amy – Rose Davis" she replied shaking it

"I know that" he replied

"And yet you have no idea" she replied with a raised eyebrow and walked off the stage leaving a confused Anthony behind

"That was fantastic!" Nicholas said approaching her

"Can you do that again for us?" Jane asked

"We'll see. Come on its getting packed in here. Who fancies a pizza and putting your feet up in front of crappy TV?" she asked

"Sounds cool to us" Jane replied wrapping her arm around Amy's shoulders. As they walked back to the residence block Jane and Nicholas lived in they sang Sway and danced around laughing all the way


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

"Great!" Amy moaned looking at the papers in the university shop. She was plastered all over them as she sang and danced with Anthony at the open mic night the night before. She rolled her eyes and grabbed a pint of milk. She was having breakfast with Jane on campus before all three were going to go sightseeing. "I guess I'll be signing autographs now as well!" she heard and turned to see Anthony staring at the papers

"Yeah well you'll love the attention won't you?" she asked walking over to the cashier

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked raising an eyebrow

"You, being so over the top and smiling to every girl with a pulse. I get it; you love the limelight so enjoy it while you can. I have to live with it so here I go ... living with it ... bye bye" she explained as she paid for the milk

"I'm not that vain, you don't know me at all" he defended himself following Amy out of the shop

"I know of your reputation and that is enough for me" she explained trying to walk faster to get away from him but he wouldn't let her get away that easily

"I can say the same for you honey" that was the straw that broke Amy's back and she turned around full of rage

"Don't call me that! You have no right to call me 'honey' so drop that now!"

"So getting pissed at mean is changing your clean cut reputation then for me?" he asked with a smug smile. All she wanted to do was slap him but her beeper going off distracted her. "Your publicist by any chance?" he asked folding his arms

"No it's my Aunt Zelda Therese. She's a little annoying, makes my stomach flip whenever she contacts me. She's not very nice you see, rather overprotective" she lied. It was the lie that she always used to get away from explaining her secret

"Annoying relatives, I know what you mean! You should talk to the councillor if you're having issues at home"

"I'm not having issues at home and besides IF I needed help I wouldn't ask you" Amy explained

"Well you would actually. I'm on the school council so you would have to book your appointment through me" he explained and Amy raised an eyebrow

"Appointment?" she asked

"Yeah you can't talk to anyone unless you have an appointment. At the minute it stands at two weeks in advance" he explained

"That's crap! What about students who are depressed and need urgent help?" she asked

"Well they have to book an appointment. I don't like it anymore then you do but it is the rules" he explained folding his arms

"Well maybe there should be a group that can help people with their issues. If there can be groups for Star Wars, and basketball, and films then there can be support groups and ones for people who suffer from life threatening illnesses have you ever thought about that? Instead of using your position in the university to pick up girls, why not use it to make a difference or is that too much for you to contemplate? Now if you excuse me I have to deal with my aunt and I can't talk to you when I'm feeling this angry" she turned back around and began to storm off

"It isn't up to me" he called after her

"It isn't up to me either but at least you have the power to make the difference for those in need who don't have a voice" she yelled back and headed out of the building. By the time she got back to Jane and Nicholas's place she was more frustrated than ever

"Calm down Amy, what got you so frazzled?" Nicholas asked taking the milk from her

"That pig Anthony! Acting so stuck up and pompous because he got on the front of the paper with me!" Amy explained sitting down on the couch

"I told you not to go near him girl" Jane said entering the room

"I didn't go to him he came to me, cornered me at the paper stand"

"Just as he will again, trust me!" Jane responded taking the milk from Nicholas. At that moment Amy's beeper went off again. She realised due to her argument she had forgotten to turn it off

"Someone after you?" Nicholas asked

"Yeah ... my um ... my Aunt Zelda Therese. She's a little excessive" Amy lied turning the beeper off

"I didn't know you had an aunt, I thought it was just you and your dad?" Nicholas asked

"Well she's not really an aunt. It's hard to explain but she's a part of my life if I like it or not!" she quickly wanted the change the subject so she talked about the first thing that entered her mind. "Hey Anthony was saying how you have to book an appointment to see the councillor is that true?"

"Yep, two weeks and you only get a half hour slot!" Jane said from the next room

"That sucks! There has to be a better way"

"Well take it up with the council then. I'm sure they would be interested" Nicholas responded

"Maybe ... if you'll excuse me before breakfast and our big day out I need to make a phone call" she grabbed her bag and went out into the hallway and as she pretended to make a call she took her AZT

-----

"You ok honey? You look a bit pale?" Jane asked and Amy smiled

"I'm just warn out! A full day of shopping and sightseeing has got me tired that is all. At least Nicholas got some great pictures and we got to go shopping" Amy explained holding up their shopping bags

"Too true!" Nicholas said taking another picture. They were in Central Park and came across the statue of Alice from Alice in Wonderland

"I love this statue. It is my favourite in the whole park. I always used to wear my hair down with a pale blue ribbon when I first moved here so everyone used to think I looked like her. There was a picture taken of me in the park when my dad first became famous with this statue. It was a profile on him in Rolling Stones magazine and we spent the whole day in Central Park. I was holding onto my dad's shoulder with my right arm whilst his arms were around my waist and I was reaching out to touch the watch that Alice is reaching for with my left hand. It was a great day" Amy explained

"It is a beautiful statue" Jane added with a soft smile

"I used to come here all the time. Like if my dad was taking a break from writing songs he would bring me here for some fresh air. We would talk, play and I'd like to sit here and read. I would sometimes bring the stories of Alice to the statue to read" she explained lovingly circling the statue

"Yeah and you still do!" Amy heard and turned to see Roger. She smiled broadly and ran over to him

"Daddy! What are you doing here?" she asked as he lovingly pulled her into a warm embrace

"What you said I was doing. I've got a bit of writer's block so I'm getting some fresh air" he explained and she giggled in his embrace. He finally let her go and she turned to Jane and Nicholas

"Daddy I want you to met my friends. This is Jane and Nicholas; they've been looking after me" Amy explained and Roger shook both their hands

"It's so nice to meet you Mr. Davis" Nicholas said and Roger smiled

"Please, call me Roger. Thanks for looking after my little girl; I hope she isn't driving you too crazy?" Roger asked and Amy turned red with embarrassment

"No she's no trouble at all. She's told us a lot about you" Jane reassured him

"Likewise, so are you enjoying your day sightseeing? I hope she's shown you all the best New York can offer" Roger asked as the red from Amy's cheeks lessoned

"Oh only the best. I've been able to expand my photo collection" Nicholas explained

"Yeah and my wardrobe. I can't afford but I don't care. Hell you only live once right?" Jane asked making Roger smile

"Right! I like her" Roger said to Amy making her smile

"I knew you would"

"Well does anyone want to go grab a drink? Life Cafe on me?" Roger asked and the girl's nodded

"Sorry I can't I have to be on the other side of the city in an hour" Nicholas explained and Jane raised an eyebrow

"What for? I didn't think you had a social life outside of us two?" she asked making Roger smile

"I'm sorry but I have a date" he explained

"Well look at you! Mr. Date! We need to photograph this as a form of evidence or no one will believe it!" Amy said making Nicholas smile

"Well that sounds nice but first can I get a picture guys, you included Roger? It would be great for my profile?" Nicholas asked holding up his camera

"Cool with me as long as you don't sell it on the Internet" Roger said and the three stood in front of the statue whilst Nicholas took their picture

"That's great, thank you. Right I had better go. I'll see you around" Amy nodded and he gave her hug. "It was nice to meet you Roger" Nicholas shook his hand once more

"You're welcome; I hope to see you again soon"

"Alright bye" Nicholas walked away and Roger wrapped his right arm around Amy's shoulders

"So table for three then? Oh everyone is coming to the Cafe for dinner if you want to join us Jane"

"Really? I'd love to! Oh what am I going to wear? I think we should go shopping!" Jane said excitedly

"No more please!" Amy responded making Roger laugh

-----

"So are you going talk to him?" Jane asked as the gang sat down to dinner at the Life Cafe. Amy just let out a sigh as a response. Jane had been bugging her with that question all afternoon and it was driving her mad

"Talk to who?" Mark asked

"Anthony ... and I haven't decided"

"Who is Anthony?" Roger asked and Amy glanced to him

"Daddy he ... he's hard to describe" Amy explained running her right hand through her hair

"What's he like then Jane since Amy is too confused to tell all?" Joanne asked

"Well he's -" Jane began but was cut off by Amy

"He's rude, vain, arrogant, selfish, conceited, self absorbed, obnoxious, and the most irritating specimen of a man I have ever met in my life!" Amy said in one go surprising everyone

"He's hot isn't he?" Maureen asked

"So so so so soooo hot! I just feel my legs turn to jelly every time he looks at me with that gorgeous smile" Amy explained slumping back in her chair. Roger raised an eyebrow as he had never heard Amy talk this way about a boy and frankly it terrified him

"He can't be that hot, it isn't possible" Roger said and Jane laughed

"Wait until you meet him honey. He can charm anyone with his smile ... and that dimple ... is it hot in here?" Jane asked taking off her jacket. Amy laughed and glanced outside. As she did her laugher and smile faded instantly

"Oh God!" Amy said alerting everyone and they watched her climb under the table

"What is it?" Mark asked and Jane began to laugh

"Oh my God! Girl you had better keep your mouth shut he's coming in" Jane giggled looking out of the window. A few seconds later the door opened and the gang watched Anthony enter

"Hey Jane have you seen Amy at all?" he asked and Amy listened intensively under the table. Looking around at the legs under the table she realised all the girls including Joanne had suddenly crossed their legs. The sight made Amy want to laugh and cringe at the exact same time

"Amy? L ... let me just think ... um ... Where is she? ... Well to tell the truth -" Jane responded and Amy pinched her leg making Jane jump. "NO!" she yelled as a reaction and she quickly smiled. "No" she said softly and Anthony blinked a few times

"O - K then. Who are your friends?" he said and

"These are friends I've met through Amy, including her father Roger" Jane explained and Anthony held out his hand to Roger

"Nice to meet you" Roger didn't respond, just shook his hand and glared at the boy in front of him. "So you are having dinner with Amy's friends and family ... but she isn't here?" he clarified

"Well not at this minute ... she's running an errant" Mark said saying the first thing that came to his mind. Amy pinched his leg to and in the process Mark stood on a few of her fingers. She managed to suppress a scream and as soon as her fingers were free she cradled them like a delicate flower

"Well in that case I have things to do ... Look will you tell her I'm looking for her it's kind of important" he explained

"I'll think about it ... You know it isn't going to work Anthony" Jane said seriously and Amy listened intensively crawling closer to the end of the table to hear more

"What isn't going to work?"

"Your bait ... she'll figure it out" Jane said and Amy bit her bottom lip. She spied a fork on the floor and grabbed it

"FOUND IT!" she yelled closing her eyes from under the table and popped her head out from under the table with a soft smile

"Amy?" Anthony asked

"Oh H .. Hi! ... What are you doing here?" she asked looking up and saw Anthony looking as hot as ever with his arms folded. He held out his hand which she accepted and stood up awkwardly

"I'm meeting some of my mates here before going on to a night club or two. You said how this was a great hang out so I thought I'd check it out and if I was lucky I'd say hey to you. What were you doing under the table?" he asked

"Um ... I was looking for a fork, it was my errant of the day ... and I found one!" she smiled broadly holding up the fork whilst mentally kicking herself for looking like an idiot

"Interesting" he commented trying not to laugh

"Yeah well my life is so interesting! So ... hi!" she said putting the fork on the table and folded her arms

"Can I ask you something?"

"That depends, what do you want?" she asked and he raised an eyebrow

"I told you I came to say hi"

"I don't believe you somehow" she said grabbing her glass off the table and walked over to the bar. "Hey Jimmy, can I have a refill?" she asked the barman who nodded

"Are you trying to wind me up?" he asked approaching her

"That depends; you should be asking yourself am I actually winding you up?" she responded turning around, leaning her elbows against the bar

"Well it seems like it to me"

"Well of course it would, you aren't used to girls just walking away from you like this. So, tell me the truth, why are you really here?" she asked and he unfold his arms

"Ok I need your help"

"I knew it. So what can I do for you then?"

"You are just going to accept my honesty like that?" he asked confused

"Nope but I'm still listening"

"Ok I talked to the dean about your suggestion of a new group to the university but she won't spread the budget until the financial year is over in April which means if a group or change to the current system were to start then it would only start up until next September. It'll cost a few grand at least. That is where you come in" he explained

"You mean I have to pay for it?" she asked completely shocked

"No ... well maybe but if you were to set up something like a petition then the dean can't ignore you. At the same time you'll be helping me"

"Really?" she asked confused

"I'm currently studying the effects of the power of voice. How individuals have spoken up to change the course of the future like William Wilberforce. This petition may not stop a war or the slave trade like Wilberforce did but it can make a difference. I'd love to add it as part of my study"

"I'm not a William Wilberforce"

"Maybe not but you are close enough in our university. At the minute you have to book an appointment to be able to talk to someone, to let out all those emotions you have to deal with. Some students result to suicide to get away from the issues they have to keep to themselves. It isn't good enough. Don't you think the resulting events will be worth the fight?" he asked smiling softly and Amy noticed his dimple. She quickly turned her head away to not focus on it

"Let me think it over ok?" Anthony nodded

"Ok then, find me when you're ready to do the right thing then" he said annoyed and began to walk away. She turned and looked at him shocked

"If you feel so strongly about it why don't you do something about it? Why me?"

"Because at least you have the power to make change, I don't have that privilege" he explained and stormed out. Amy let out a frustrated scream and looked at the ceiling

"I told you he would come after you girl" Jane said and Amy looked at him

"Can you believe him? Wanting to get money out of me?" she asked approaching the table

"Yeah I can" Roger said and Amy raised an eyebrow to him. "Look this is an important issue at the university which he feels as strongly about as you do. He's right that you have a power to make a change due to your status so why not use it?" Roger explained

"I don't want to use it, I don't want to be exploited for who I am daddy" she explained sitting down

"Neither do I but you want to help those at the university and if it means giving out money then I say let them have it. Set up the petition first and see how that makes a difference first. You never know, that alone may change everything" Amy began biting her bottom lip with annoyance

"I told you he was hot though am I right ladies" Amy asked

"Oh yeah!" all of the girls said in unison making the boys laugh


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N: Hey everyone! I want to thank all the nice comments and hits that I've had for this story so far I really appreciate it. Now in this chapter is a song from the Lord of the Rings musical called 'Now and for Always' and it is a beautiful song. ****Also I have name dropped a couple of celebrities who I love! First is the beautiful Heidi Klum who is just stunning. The other is my favourite actor in the world –Mr. Tom Hanks. I love his role in Philadelphia which I've explained and incorporated into this chapter due to the film's subject matter. So I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! TKAMB aka Becky!)**

**Chapter 5:**

Amy drank some of her bottled water as she entered the room to her first lecture. It was an English Literature lecture on a semester subject of Feminism in literature and was her first lecture of her University experience. It was one she knew she would always remember and with it being a topic that was one of her favourites she knew she would enjoy it

"9am is far too early for our first lecture" Jane moaned as Amy sat down next to her

"No it isn't, it is the first stage on the road to higher learning and discipline" Amy explained and Jane began to laugh

"Oh God you are such a child" Jane said as she laughed. Amy smiled softly and looked about the room. "Well, well, well! It looks like we know who Miss Date is!" Jane said softly to Amy and indicated to the door. Amy turned her head and saw a girl chatting to Nicholas. "Hey Dolton!" Jane yelled and Amy's mouth fell open. Nicholas looked up to then holding the girl's hand with a soft smile

"Hey, I was wondering if I'd see you here ... This is Rose by the way. Rose Parker. Rose these are my friends Jane and Amy. Jane is my roommate" Nicholas explained

"Hey nice to meet you. I'm so looking forward to this lecture. Feminist literature is my favourite" Rose explained making Amy smile

"Mine too"

"And now mine as Amy is my study partner. She's read every book under the sun!" Jane explained

"Can we make it a study group then?" Rose asked with a giggle

"I don't see why not!" Amy said and Rose sat down next Amy who was now sat between the two girls

"Well I had better go, I'll see you after class in the bar" Nicholas said and kissed Rose's cheek

"Bye bye sweetie!" Jane said making Nicholas laugh

"Bye to you too, see you later Amy" Amy nodded with a soft smile

"Don't I get a kiss?" Jane asked and Nicholas walked out of the room

"Ok can I do the really selfish task of asking for your autograph? I've never met a celebrity before" Rose asked Amy before biting her bottom lip

"Sure" Amy said smiling and took a book and pen from Jane. "So you and Nicholas are an item then?"

"Yeah we met on the first day and something just clicked you know?"

"I hope to find someone like that someday" Amy admitted and handed back the newly autographed book and pen

"Girl you need to come to some of my parties, I'll find a guy for you in no time!" Jane giggled

"Yeah right like anyone would touch me with a barge pole!"

"Are you kidding? You are like the most beautiful girl I've ever seen up close. I'd kill for your skin complexion!" Rose laughed

"I know right? I swear she must have a specialist regime it is impossible to have skin like that!" Jane said turning to Rose as Amy laughed

"I told you its water!" Amy defended herself

"Yeah right!" both Rose and Jane said in unison

"Besides my dad would scare away any guy with one look. Being just us he's rather protective of me, along with our friends"

"All dads' are like that. My dad wouldn't talk to me for a month when I told him how I wanted to be an actress. He and mum wanted me to be a doctor. You see I'm from this little town in Oklahoma so the lights of Broadway and such are the last things that my family think of as a career option. So I defied my family, came here and I'm going to live out my dream" Rose explained

"So Rose what are you studying?" Amy asked

"English Literature and drama. I really want to be an actress on the stage. There is something about the stage that just sets my heart alight. It is so amazing to sing and perform all these different emotions for people. I love that you can feel their enthusiasm as you perform, feel the emotions you are making them feel. That connection is so astonishing to me and being able to sing as well is great. That's what I want to do, go to Broadway or the West End in England"

"Us too!" Jane said with a soft smile

"Really? Oh thank God, people I know! Everyone is doing all different stuff than me I thought I was the only one!"

"So what shows would you love to do then?" Amy asked

"Well classics such as Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon, but I'd love something original. Ok I know it sounds crazy but I'd love to be in something original. My favourite books are the Lord of the Ring trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. I'd love it if someone made it for the stage. I guess I'll have to wait; besides the new film version of the first book comes out in December, I can't wait!" Rose explained with a broad smile

"Oh yeah, directed by Peter Jackson right? I'd like to see that too. I love the books, I love Sam" Amy smiled

"I know he is so sweet I just want to give him a great big hug!" Rose explained making the girls laugh. "Have you seen that poster up on the drama bulletin board?" Rose asked and the two girls' shook their heads. "Well every year a musical is put on here in the University but this year they want something totally original. They want students to submit their original ideas and lyrics if they have any to the drama office by the end of next week"

"You should totally do that Amy. Submit that work you've done. You should read her lyrics Rose they are incredible. She's nearly got an entire show in this book she's been writing in since she was seven" Jane explained to Rose

"I don't know, those are just for me you know?" Amy said shaking her head

"You never know unless you try. Some of the best works have been created by accident. So give it a go! I'd love to read some of your work. I bet you could bring the Lord of the Rings to life!" Rose smiled

"I'll only do it if you two promise not to tell anyone. My dad and my friends know I write songs and such but they don't know about my private songs and music. So no word to them or anyone else unless the result is positive ok?"

"Promise" Jane said

"I promise" Rose said. At that moment the lecturer entered the room

"Ok everyone, sorry I'm late but sometimes even the lecturers have a sleep in! Let's start shall we?" he asked and the girls focused on him however every now and then Amy switched off and thought of the lyrics that were coming to her mind. After the lecture she took her precious book and made a photocopy of it. She placed them in a thick A4 sized envelope and handed it into the drama office. When she left the office she took a deep breath and the sudden feeling of excitement hit her followed by terror. Her songs were about how she felt dealing with the disease she had and she knew she had to tell everyone. She pulled out her phone and dialled a familiar number

"Jane? Hey it's me ... I need a favour. Can you, Nicholas and Rose come over to my place tonight? I need to talk to you"

-----

"Where is Amy? And where are we exactly?" Rose asked Nicholas and Jane as they looked at the large building they were stood in front of

"You'll see" Jane said and made a phone call. "Hey, we're here" she said and hung up the phone. A few moments later the door opened to reveal Amy smiling broadly

"Hey guys" Amy said and gave them all a hug. "Come on in before you freeze"

"What is this place?" Rose asked Amy who smiled

"This is my home. I live in the loft with my daddy and the rest of the building is for friends of ours" Amy explained as they walked up the steps to the loft

"I bet you two are popular!" Rose said looking around at the building as they walked

"You really need to get the door buzzer fixed though" Nicholas said

"I don't think we will. I guess it kind of works for security reasons. Only those who know our phone number can contact us so we only know who is being let into the building. We are well known for living here so anyone can try to get inside. Even now people hit the buzzer thinking it will work and we will let them in but it doesn't work that way" Amy explained. They finally reached the loft and Amy opened the door. The loft was empty and everyone walked in observing the world that Amy lived in

"This place is huge! It is just you and your dad right?" Nicholas asked

"Yep, the loft did used to have up to five people in it but time has passed and it now has two residents. Does anyone want a drink?" she asked and all nodded and gave her their orders. Rose looked at the awards and photos that were scattered around the loft with a soft smile

"Oh my God! Is that you with Heidi Klum?" she asked

"Oh my God where?" Jane asked rushing over to look at the picture

"Yeah, I met her a couple of years ago at New York fashion week. She was really nice. You meet a lot of people at all the parties and events you have to go to when you make the 'celebrity' category. I've only ever been star struck once and that was when I met Tom Hanks at the 1994 Academy Awards. My dad was up for an Academy Award for best song but lost out to Bruce Springsteen. I had always admired Tom and although I had to wait until I was old enough to see the film since I was eight at the time I wanted him to know that I was so happy that he would take on a role like Philadelphia which he won the Academy Award for. All I remember was getting so excited to talk to him and when I did I just started crying. He smiled and gave me this big hug and although hardly anything was said between us I said everything that needed to be said" Amy explained indicating to a picture on the side. Nicholas looked over to it and saw Roger, Amy and Tom together smiling and Amy had soft tears on her cheeks

"Wow, you have one amazing life Amy" Nicholas said looking at the photo

"It isn't all that great ... guys I need to tell you something" Amy said turning to face them. At that moment the door to the loft opened making Amy jump

"Ok who wants some Italian?" Roger said holding up three pizza boxes

"Or Indian?" Mark asked holding up a fast food bag

"Or Chinese?" Maureen asked holding up a fast food bag

"Or Japanese?" Tom asked holding up a fast food bag

"When you said you were going to get some food I didn't think you meant enough to feed an army!" Amy laughed

"Well we couldn't decide and as we didn't know what people wanted we thought why not a bit of everything" Mark explained as the gang placed the boxes and bags of food on the table

"Where is Tamsin?" Amy asked

"At work, some emergency case came up she had to deal with" Joanne explained

"Oh my God ... you're Roger Davis ... and Mark Cohen! Professor Collins what are you doing here?" Rose asked and they smiled

"Everyone this is Rose Parker, Nicholas's girlfriend and our new friend. Rose this is my daddy Roger Davis and our friends Mark, Maureen, Joanne and Tom"

"N ... nice to meet you ... sorry I'm just really star struck at the minute. I adore your music Mr. Davis" Rose said shaking his hand and he could feel her hand shaking as he did

"Please call me Roger"

"OK!" she said with a broad smile making Amy laugh

"Come on guys, let's eat before this lot gets cold" Mark said and everyone responded heading for the table. The hours passed by with all having a laugh and enjoying themselves immensely

"And that's how I got the scar" Maureen finished explaining her story making Amy shake her head with a giggle. Her eyes fell onto her guitar and she smiled

"Well that was an interesting topic. Hey Rose I have something for you" Amy said standing up

"What?" she asked and Amy collected a few pieces of paper from her room and her guitar

"Well you know you were talking about adapting The Lord of the Rings for the stage?" Rose nodded

"Well I had that thought in my head all day and I wrote something for you" Amy explained

"Fantasy fan huh?" Maureen asked

"Yeah I am, well I love all literature but I adore Tolkien's books" Rose explained

"Right this is going in my next film" Mark said pulling out his camera

"Right; daddy can you do me a favour?" Amy asked sitting next to Roger

"It depends? What do you want?" he asked in a tone like she was a five year old

"It's a duet and there are two separate music pieces laced together. Will you play and sing it with me" she asked and he smiled

"Alright grab my guitar" he gave in and she kissed his cheek before running off to get his guitar

"So what is this piece that you wrote then?" Nicholas asked as Amy re – entered the living room area with Roger's guitar

"It's a duet between Frodo and Sam on the road to Mordor and they are remembering back to days in the Shire. Daddy you take Sam's part and I'll take Frodo's" Amy explained and noticed Mark had begun filming

"Ok so here history is made again as we have the first ever duet of Roger and Amy Rose Davis. An original song written by Amy Rose based on Lord of the Rings which may or may not go to Broadway" Mark explained getting in a good position

"I'm going for never!" Amy said and sat next to her father on the couch

"Never say never" Jane responded and Amy smiled

"Ok, here we go. The song is called 'Now and for Always' and is for my new friend Rose" Amy explained to the camera before getting ready to play

"Ok here we go ... 4, 3, 2, 1" Roger said and both began to play. Roger smiled softly reading the lyrics and began to sing

**ROGER:**

Sing me a story of heroes of the Shire,

Muddling through,

Brave and true,

Stubborn as bindweed and tough as old brier,

Never too showy or grand.

Year after year

They persevere

Now and for always,

Harfoots who planted and

Stoor folk who ploughed,

Bred to endure,

Slow but sure.

Fallohide blood in your veins

Makes you proud,

Sturdy and steady they stand.

True to their aim

To stay the same

Now and for always.

**BOTH:**

Sit by the firelight's glow,

Tell us an old tale we know,

Tell of adventures strange and rare –

Never to change

Ever to share

Stories we tell will cast

Their spell

Now and for always.

**ROGER:**

Sing me a story of Frodo

And the Ring.

Fearless and bold.

**AMY: **

Tired and cold

**ROGER:**

Sword at his side, an Elf – blade

Called Sting

Crossing a mis'rable land.

Wouldn't retreat

Just followed his feet.

Now and for always.

**BOTH:**

Sit by the firelight's glow,

Tell us and old tale we know,

Tell of adventures strange and rare –

Never to change

Ever to share

Stories we tell will cast a spell

Now and for always.

As they played the instrumental section of the song Amy glanced at Roger who was smiling broadly, proud of what Amy had produced on her own. She glanced at him and smiled before starting to sing once more

**AMY:**

Sing me a tale of the bravest of them all,

Comrade and guide

At my side.

Stout – hearted Sam who wouldn't

Let me fall

Holding my life in his hand.

True to the end,

No finer friend,

Now and for always.

**BOTH:**

Sit by the firelight's glow,

Tell us an old tale we know,

Tell of adventures strange and rare –

Never to change

Ever to share

Stories we tell will cast a spell

Now and for always

Finishing the song everyone applauded and Amy giggled. She looked at Rose who had tears in her eyes as she applauded. Roger gave Amy a hug before letting her stand up. She gave an over the top dramatic bow to the camera before hugging Rose. "That was amazing, thank you" Rose said in her embrace

"You're welcome"

"How do you do that? Make a song up?" Nicholas asked

"Well it can be a mixture of ways. Sometimes a lyric will pop into your head. Sometimes the tune will find you first and you create the lyric around it. Sometimes it is a slow and long process other times it just comes to you" Roger explained

"I think I get what you mean. It is the same as with my photography. Sometimes it takes you ages to get a perfect picture and others you take one by chance and it is perfect" Nicholas said. "I suppose it is like that picture of you two at the Oscars meeting Tom Hanks" Amy instantly tensed up and Roger could feel it across the room

"Yeah well it meant a lot to us to meet him" Roger said softly and Mark turned off the camera

"I would be freaking out if I was there. All those stars and all that talent! It must be an amazing night?" Jane asked

"Yeah it is" Amy said lowering her head. Nicholas saw Roger wrap his arm around Amy's torso and raised an eyebrow

"What's going on? You said you needed to talk to us about something?" Nicholas asked and the three guests looked at the group

"Um ... ok" Amy squirmed in her seat trying to get more comfortable and all three looked concerned. "I haven't been completely honest with you guys but if I don't tell you this then it is going to eat away at me ... I was so happy at the Oscars because of the role that Tom had taken. An Aids sufferer ... like us" All three sat in silence

"Yeah I already knew that" Jane said and stuffed a spring roll in her mouth

"Really?" Roger asked

"Come on Amy! Your Aunt Zelda Therese who pages you? Makes your stomach flip? We aren't as dumb as you think we are" Nicholas said

"I don't think you're dumb" Amy responded shocked

"Amy relax, I'm kidding" Nicholas reassured her with a soft smile

"The amount of profiles, magazine articles, TV spots on you two. It's old news to be honest" Rose explained

"So you don't mind this?" she asked

"Nope" Rose replied smiling

"Oh my God!" Amy put her head in her hands. "I thought you were all going to flip out!" she explained

"What kind of friends would we be if we did that?" Jane asked and came to Amy's side. "You are still a human being and we are still you friends no matter what. HIV or no HIV ok kiddo?" Jane asked and Amy nodded. Jane gave her a hug and Mark smiled

"You've got some great friends Amy, I wish I had friends like you have when I was your age" he said

"You had us!" Tom said and Mark laughed

"Oh yeah" Amy took a deep breath and felt tears in her eyes

"Could you excuse me for a minute ... I'm feeling a little hot. I'm going to get some fresh air" she explained and left the loft

"Oh my God! Aunt Zelda Therese ... I just got that!" Maureen said and Roger rolled his eyes

-----

Amy stood on the roof of the building with tears streaming down her cheeks. She thought she was going to be having a really rough time telling them and get into an argument with Nicholas about the lie she had told. She heard the door to the roof open and heard familiar footsteps approach her. "You'll freeze if you stay up here" Roger said and she felt him place his leather jacket around her shoulders. She slowly turned around to face him and he dried the tears off her cheeks

"I didn't think it was going to be that easy" she said through sobs and he pulled her into a warm embrace

"Nor did I to be honest. You are one lucky kid; the reaction I got when I told people was the complete opposite. They really are worth hanging onto in your life" Roger said and felt her nod her head against his chest. As her tears lessoned they pulled apart and Amy dried her fresh tears away. Roger softly stroked her hair and smiled. "That song was fantastic. You didn't tell me you were so good at writing songs and melodies" he said making her smile

"I learn from the best" she replied softly. He kissed her forehead and felt her shivering so he wrapped his arms around her

"Do you want to go back downstairs?" he asked

"In a minute. I just want to calm down a bit first" she explained closing her eyes

"Ok, we'll stay here as long as you need" he replied and there they stood for ten minutes in silence


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

It had been over two weeks since Amy had seen Anthony that night when they fell out. Over the two weeks she had been hoping to see him but at the same time she was petrified of just bumping into him as she had in the shop. She was sat alone in a corner of the library trying to focus on To Kill a Mockingbird by the adventures of Scout and Jem were not enough to keep her focused. She looked up at the clock on the wall and saw it was 9:45am. She had fifteen minutes before her drama class so she packed up her belongings and stood up. As she did she dropped her pencil case and a few of her pens went rolling across the floor. "Shit" she muttered and got onto all fours to pick up her belongings. "Lost something?" she heard someone ask softly in front of her. She looked up and saw Anthony holding a few of her pens

"Thanks" she replied standing up and taking the pens. "Um ... I just want to say I'm sorry for what our last meeting was like" she said as quietly as possible for the comfort of the other students

"Yeah me too ... can we talk about this outside?" he asked and she grabbed her things. She followed him out into the court yard and they walked in silence. "Your dad doesn't like me at all does he?"

"Nope ... but he's just very overprotective of me ... I've been thinking I'd love to be involved in this new group. I think being a William Wilberforce may not be such a bad thing" Amy explained

"Good, I'm glad. Look I'm stuck in back to back lectures but I'm free this evening to talk about it. I'm sure your dad wouldn't mind if you were in a meeting?" he asked

"Yeah ... I'd like that ... I think that would be ok with him. Look I have a class to get to. Here's my cell phone number. How about we meet at Belvedere Castle in Central Park at 6:30pm?" she asked handing him her phone details

"You got it, see you tonight" Amy smiled softly and rushed off to class. Suddenly confusion hit her. Was it a date or a business meeting? She entered her drama class and instantly began to nervously bite her nails

"You ok girl?" Jane asked coming to Amy's side with Rose

"I think I'm going on a date with Anthony" Amy explained

"OH MY GOD!" both girls yelled alerting the rest of the class

"Practicing vocal ranges!" Rose blurted out as a cover up and the three girls huddled quietly in the corner

"Look it isn't that big a deal I'll make sure it won't go far" Amy tried to reassure them and herself

"Saying that won't work his spell will take over you" Rose explained and Jane nodded

"Yeah you already have issues talking with him, an evening alone you won't be able to stop yourself from at least making out with him" Amy lowered her head and felt her cheeks get warm. "Hang on a moment ... Have you ... not kissed a guy ...at all?" Jane asked confused

"Like I said, no boy would touch me with a barge pole" Amy admitting in almost a whisper staring at her lap

"Ok we are hitting bar, forget class we need to talk about this" Jane said tugging at Amy's sleeve

"We can't just skip class!" Amy responded finally looking up from her lap

"You are such a child, come on this is far more important" Rose replied and the girls dragged Amy to the bar for a chat. After a full morning discussing the matter Amy still couldn't determine what it was so she headed home to get ready

-----

"A date? Since when are you going on a date?" Mark asked

"It is not a date! At least I don't think it is ... We are having a meeting about creating a new support group for the campus. It is a meeting and for the love of God sshhh!! Daddy will hear you" Amy clarified trying to shut him up in the loft. Mark had come over to hang out with Roger which annoyed Amy for the first time in her life as she was already stressing out about her appearance let alone home her dad was going to react

"Two people meeting up at an agreed time and place to talk and possibly have something to eat and or drink? It's a date! Admit it!" Mark said softly and Amy glared at him

"Don't even push your luck Mr. Cohen or you'll feel my leather boots ok?" she threatened putting on her jacket. At that moment Roger entered the room and looked at both of them

"I don't want to know" he said holding up his hands in defeat

"It doesn't matter" Amy said checking her reflection. She smoothed down her hair and checked her lip balm

"So where are you going on your date?" Roger asked pouring himself a cup of coffee and Amy instantly stopped what she was doing

"It ... it isn't a date, it's a meeting" she explained shocked while Roger smiled softly. "I mean we may get something to eat I don't know ... We may go out or ... I ... Stop it!" Amy said and Roger giggled

"I'm only messing with you, but seriously he lays a hand on you I'll kill him with my bare hands" Roger said seriously making Amy roll her eyes

"You have to say that because you're my dad" she moaned and grabbed her bag and scarf

"So where are you meeting him? On campus?" Mark asked

"No at the Park, this way I don't have to travel all the way across the City" Amy explained

"Well make sure you have your phone on in case I need to call you and you have everything you need" Roger said as overprotective as possible

"Alright! I'll see you when I get home" she said opening the door

"At 10pm" Roger said and Amy turned to face him mouth hanging open

"That's not fare! You're setting me a curfew?"

"You're 15 remember. If you're not back by 10pm on the dot I'll be coming after you" Roger said folding his arms. Amy wanted to talk back but knew if she did then she wouldn't be leaving the loft that night

"Fine" she responded coldly and left the loft

"To be fare Roger that is the first time you've had to set her a curfew. You could have had to say that a year or more ago. She's a good kid; she wouldn't be so stupid as to let this guy get to her in the way you're thinking" Mark tried to reassure Roger but it wasn't going to work. "So are we going out for dinner to meet the guys?" Mark asked and the glare from Roger answered his question. "I'll tell them to come over here"

-----

Amy felt her heart beating like crazy as she stood waiting for Anthony. She nervously paced the part of the path where stood and bit her bottom lip. She heard horses' huffs behind her and turned to see something she never expected to see. A white horse drawn carriage stopped in front of her and she saw, sat in the carriage was Anthony. "I thought we could make this meeting a little more interesting" he explained standing up and held out his right hand to her. She smiled and took his hand

"The horse is beautiful" she said and Anthony covered their laps with a blanket

"Yeah she is, but not s beautiful as the girl she will be escorting. I thought perhaps being taking around like this would make our meeting nicer. We can talk, iron out the issues and watch the City go by" Amy looked at her lap for a moment as her cheeks felt warm

"Sounds good as long as we are going to talk about the group" Amy clarified looking up at him

"Of course" Anthony turned to the driver. "Once around the park please" when the carriage began to move the moment caused Amy to jolt into Anthony's side. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah fine ... isn't this going to cost you a lot of money?" Amy asked and he put his arm around her

"Don't you think on that, just think on what we have met up for" Amy nodded

"Look I want to clarify that this is a meeting to discuss the well being of our fellow students and we might get some food and such in the process. This is not a date" she explained in one go

"Alright then I'll keep that in mind" he smiled

"Also I can only stay until about 9:30pm I have a 10pm curfew" she said looking at her lap completely embarrassed by her sentence

"Your dad has got you on a lease hasn't he? Alright then that gives us three hours to talk then" and so they began to talk about the group. Talking about it turned into having dinner, and then a walk and finally ending up skating at Lasker Rink. The conversation had also wavered from the subject of the group to everything else

"So you grew up in Australia? Wow" Amy said ask they skated and Anthony laid out his past

"Well not permanently. I've lived all over America, moving from place to place for my dad's job. But being half Australian from my mother's side we used to go there every holiday, four months of summer, Christmas, Easter, everything! I used to think that being in America was like a half way house to my real home in Australia" he explained skating around her

"Well why not study in Australia then?"

"Because I needed to get away from my home" he explained and smiled

"I know just what you mean" at that moment she slipped and fell to the floor. Anthony laughed and bent down

"You ok?" he asked helping her up and she began to laugh

"Yeah, talk about an embarrassing situation" she said through her laughter making Anthony laugh. As he helped her up to a stand position they slid about on the their skates making them laugh even more and Amy clung onto Anthony's arms

"You're bleeding" Anthony said indicating to her knee and saw blood soaking through her jeans. "Come on let's get a plaster"

"I'll do it" she said seriously

"No I'll help you" he said and took her hand. He went to skate off to the side but she stayed where she was forcing him to face her. He knew exactly why she wasn't moving. "Amy it is ok, I know you're sick. I've researched it; I know what you can and can't do. I want you to know I only did so because I didn't want you to be uncomfortable during our meeting" he explained and he saw the tears in her eyes. "Look how about I get the plaster and you can clean yourself up?" he asked and she nodded. He gave her hand a soft squeeze and she smiled. They skated to the main skating booth where Anthony got a plaster while Amy cleaned her knee. "Now that is one heck of a cut, it may require surgery! But I have something that will work just as well" he explained holding up the plaster

"Thanks ... Look I understand if you don't want to take this any further" she explained unwrapping the plaster

"What are you talking about?" he asked and she looked up at him

"This! I ... I'm seriously sick and people don't like that ... I live a lie" she explained as a silent tear fell from her right eye. Anthony softly brushed it away

"I don't care about it" he took the plaster from her hand and placed it over her cut. "I care about my friends, my family ... and you" he explained looking at her. He softly kissed her knee before looking up at her. Suddenly Amy felt petrified and could feel her heart racing. He slowly brought his face to hers placing his right hand on the back of her neck

"Just one thing" she said stopping him. "I need you to realise. If the press gets hold of this we won't be left alone for a minute. I have to live a lie to feel like I'm normal. Can you really handle that?" she asked

"Can you handle being in a relationship?"

"I ... I can't ... I have no choice but to say no. But my heart, my soul yearns for it. It's a war that I have to fight. I sometimes think I'll end up alone because of this disease ... I don't want this to go further if nothing is going to happen it would destroy me otherwise. I need to know that there is someone there to catch me when I fall instead of the concrete path I'm used to seeing my whole life" she explained

"Do you trust me?" he asked and she nodded. "Then trust your heart. I know this is rather fast and your circumstances are different but that doesn't mean I'd abandon you ... You are too good of a person to live a life of solitude. I don't know if it is possible to live a life without affection, not you, you have so much passion within you. I can see it in your eyes, so express it since it is who you are" he responded in almost a whisper

"I don't really know what I'm doing" she explained blushing

"I'll help you out then" he explained and brought his lips to hers softly. Amy closed her eyes and became lost in the kiss. It was perfect to her and when they parted she smiled broadly. "Now doing that was so worth it to see such a beautiful smile" he said as he tucked locks of her hair behind her ears

"Thank you" she replied and he kissed her once more. When they parted she looked at the clock near where they sat. "Oh my God! It's 9:40pm! I have to be home in twenty minutes or I'm dead meat" she explained standing up

"A curfew? You were right about your dad being overprotective! Come on we'll get the carriage again" he said

"No! By the time we find a carriage it won't get me there in time. Look I know this place like the back of my hand, I have a short cut and I have to run. I'm sorry to end our date like this"

"So it is a date then?" he asked smiling broadly making her roll her eyes

"Bye" she quickly kissed his cheek and ran off down the paths of Central Park heading for the Alphabet City

-----

"Ok we really need to get an elevator, there are far too many steps in this building" Amy said panting heavily as she entered the loft, her eyes instantly focusing on Roger. Roger was sat on one of the kitchen chairs, staring at the door with his arms folded

"You're late" he said sternly

"Only by about thirty seconds Roger, let it go. It takes at least four minutes to run up the steps to the loft so technically she was in the building on time" Jane said appearing by Amy's side startling her. Amy looked around and saw the gang including Jane, Nicholas and Rose

"Yeah it could be worse" Tom backed Amy up

"W ... what are you guys doing here?" Amy asked

"Waiting for you" Jane responded. "So how did it go?"

"Ok" Amy responded as normally as possible

"There is something different about you" Tamsin commented and both Maureen and Joanne nodded

"Yeah I know what ... THEY HOOKED UP!" Jane said and covered her mouth in shock

"No we ... not like that" Amy tried to defend herself

"THEY HOOKED UP!" Maureen said smiling broadly

"We want to hear every detail" Rose said and indicated for her to sit by her. Amy walked over and the girls huddled together in the living area while the boys stayed in the kitchen

"I don't think she should" Roger said sternly

"Do you want to know what he's been up with your daughter or not?" Joanne asked

"Ok good point"

"Ok first things first, did it end well?" Maureen asked

"In what sense?" Amy asked taking off her jacket

"Well are we going to need tissues or not?" Joanne asked

"Why should that matter?" Nicholas asked

"Because we are girls and need to know, you wouldn't understand" Rose explained

"Sorry for being a guy!" Nicholas responded making the guys smile

"Ok how did he meet you?" Rose asked

"He came with a horse drawn carriage" Amy said with a blush

"Rich boy" Mark indicated

"Cinderella syndrome boy more like! The guy comes on the date like a fairy tale to make him more appealing to the girl. Its text book in the dating manual 101" Jane explained

"Ok next, any presents?" Tamsin asked

"No but he did put a blanket on my lap"

"Ok signs that he does feel for you or else he would not go to the trouble of doing so. No presents indicate it is not a date to him" Tamsin said

"But he did go to the trouble of a horse and carriage so he must have classed it as a date!" Joanne defended it

"Ok so he is unsure then?" Maureen asked and the girls nodded

"Alright then what?" Jane asked

"We talked about the group which then led to a standard talk about university as we walked through the park. This was then covered by dinner at the Leaping Frog Cafe" Amy explained

"Ok sounds more like a date to me at this point" Mark muttered

"sshh!!" the girls responded

"Why does the detail matter exactly?" Nicholas asked

"It is how we deal with everything. It is what girls do, we analysis everything" Rose explained

"Alright back to the important matter of the date/ meeting depending on what you feel about it! What happened next?" Jane asked

"Skating and we just talked and had fun" she explained

"Where is he from, what is his favourite movie and what did he want to be when he was little?" Rose asked

"All over America and Australia, The Godfather and I don't know"

"Well two out of three isn't bad! You got the basics of first date talk so he is giving you some sort of conversation in a date format but not all" Tamsin explained as Amy looked at her knee. The girls did the same and noticed the blood

"You hurt your knee?" Maureen asked

"Yeah I fell while skating so he helped me up and got a plaster and put it on my knee. We talked about my illness as he did because it terrified me and he kissed my knee after putting the plaster on" Amy explained and lifted up her jean leg to show them

"That is so sweet" Rose gushed

"That is so sappy!" Roger responded

"Alright now the important part. Did he kiss you properly?" Jane asked and Amy nodded. "Ok how many times?" the boys inched over to the living room area to listen as did the girls, and Roger tensed up

"Four if you count when he kissed my knee"

"Ok where were his hands?" Rose asked

"His left hand was on my right arm and his right hand was resting on my neck but then after a bit they were in my hair"

"Ok so what was the kiss like? Was it soft on your lips or one of those intense passionate kisses?" Maureen asked

"Soft at first but got a bit more intense"

"Nice" Joanne said with a giggle

"It was a date wasn't it?" Amy asked

"Oh yeah!" the girls gushed and Amy laughed

"What is it about girls and sharing every detail with each other?" Roger asked and Amy looked at him

"Because daddy we need to do so to be able to figure out why men are so weird" Amy explained

"We are weird? You tell each other everything!" Tom responded

"So you are seriously telling me that you boys have never told each other intimate details about your lives? That question doesn't include Nicholas of course since you've only just met him" Rose asked

"Well ... some private things not everything" Mark responded

"Like what?" Maureen asked and Roger smiled

"Let's put it this way, I know what really happened that Labour Day weekend when you and Mark first started dating" Roger responded folding his arms while Mark looked at her in shock

"You swore you'd never tell!" Maureen said standing up and approaching Mark

"I told you that in private man!" Mark responded trying the duck out of the way of Maureen

"What happened?" Joanne asked

"Is that the time they ...?" Tom asked and Roger nodded. "I thought you were kidding!" Tom said laughing

"What? What happened?" Joanne said coming to Roger's side

"Well Joanne, haven't you ever wondered over the years why Maureen won't eat anything to do with melted cheese?" Roger asked and the adults broke out in a huge argument while the others looked on laughing


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/N: Hey everyone!****Just a routine note to say that RENT belongs to the brilliant and missed Jonathon Larson.**** You'll understand my intention of Amy's play when you read this chapter and the play belongs to that brilliant man! Thanks for the positive reviews and the number of hits I've been getting. I hope you enjoy the story. TKAMB aka Becky)**

**Chapter 7:**

"Amy! There you are! For the love of God girl do you ever answer your phone?" Jane asked running through the door of the Life Cafe panting heavily. It was the day after her date with Anthony and everyone was out for dinner although Amy wasn't that hungry. She had recently taken her medication so her stomach was rather delicate

"Only when I actually have it with me! The battery is dead I left it charging at home" Amy explained as Jane sat down on a chair at the end of the table

"Well that is no excuse! I've been looking for you everywhere! There is something on the notice board of the drama club that you had to see. Hey can I have some of this?" Before Amy was able to respond Jane took Amy's pint glass drink and drank it all within seconds. A look of disgust came across Jane's face and she lowered the glass to the table. "What on Earth was that?" she asked Amy

"Water"

"Oh thank God! I thought it was vodka and I had lost my taste buds"

"Why would I be drinking a pint of vodka?"

"I don't know, it was the first thing that came into my head so humour me! Anyway I can't believe it can you? Well actually I can believe it but you know what I mean, expressions and all! We are all so excited in drama club, Rose is getting ready for her audition already can you believe it?" Jane giggled while Amy stared blankly at her

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked

"Oh my God you have no idea! The winner of this year's play has been announced. You did it! Your play is going to be this year's biggest event for the dramatic arts! You're stage and casting director, choreographer, writer, and composer. Exciting huh? I knew you would do it! After all your play was fully written, composted and you had stage directions on every page they had no choice but to pick it in my opinion I don't think anyone else submitting anything near what you did"

"What?" Roger said

"What?" Mark said

"What?" Joanne said

"What?" Tom said

"What?" Tamsin asked

"Cool!" Maureen said

"Oh my God" Amy muttered and the entire colour drained from her face. "Oh no" she said and rushed across the Cafe to the door covering her mouth with her right hand. As soon as she got out of the door she lowered her hand and was violently sick. She felt Roger pull her long locks away from her face and rub her back. "Sorry" she muttered when she was done

"It's ok don't worry. Are you ok?" he asked and she slowly nodded. She gingerly came back into the Cafe white as a sheet of paper with Roger holding her up

"We'll get the bill" Mark said

"No it's ok really I'll be fine, I just need some fresh air" Amy protested but knew it wouldn't work

"Don't talk daft now sit down and rest for a minute" Jane offered a glass of water but Amy shook her head as everyone gathered around her

"I don't think I'll be able to keep it down" she explained closing her eyes. "How could I win? I began writing that play when I was seven! This doesn't make any sense" she said out load to herself not thinking that anyone would be listening

"What play?" Roger asked and Amy looked at him

"Ok don't flip out" she responded grabbing his right hand and squeezing it

"Wait they don't know?" Jane asked pointing to the group and Amy shook her head. "Well look at the time! I think I'm going to get a drink" Jane said with a broad smile and walked over to the bar in the shadows

"What's going on?" Tom asked

"What aren't you telling me?" Roger asked

"Well the play ... it's about you" Roger raised an eyebrow

"Excuse me?" Amy tried to explain but couldn't as her stomach began to turn once more

"Ok here is where I can step in once more!" Jane said coming from the shadows. "She's created a musical of all of you the year before she came into your lives" Jane explained plainly and began to drink her alcoholic drink

"What?" Joanne asked in complete shock

"It isn't that big of a deal, I'll tell them I've changed my mind" Amy responded lowering her head

"Not that big a deal? It is a huge deal girl! The yearly play is the biggest event for the drama department and it is a big opportunity for the school to raise money for charity. They don't just pick any play when so much is on the line. Besides if you drop out they will stick with the play and change directors. Either way 'Rent' will be coming to our campus stage everyday for four weeks" Jane explained **(A/N: Did you get my intention**** to Amy's ****first university ****year l****ol)**

"'Rent'? That's what you called it?" Roger asked and Amy looked at him with tears in her eyes

"It fits somehow with you guys ... Look I'll only do it if you are ok with it, all of you" she explained

"It's a great title" Mark said with a soft smile

"It's only four weeks" Tom added

"Besides it would be nice to see what baby cakes make of our lives" Maureen added

"And of course the chance for fame ourselves outside of work" Joanne added

"I have a question ... Is Mimi in the play?" Roger asked and Amy nodded

"And Angel" she responded looking at Tom. "Oh and Maureen's Halloween cat suit of course" she added making Maureen smile. The group looked at each other before Roger turned back to Amy. He tucked a few locks of her hair behind her right ear

"Then its ok with me" Amy smiled and he pulled her into a soft embrace

"So I guess you have a play to cast" Jane said

"Me? No way, you are helping me out. I'm going to need all the help I can get" she explained and stood up. As soon as she did dizziness over took her and she fell into Roger's arms

"I got you, it's ok" he said softly and felt her cling onto his shoulders

"Are you ok?" Jane asked coming to her side

"Yeah ... it's just my medication messing up my system ... I think I need to lie down" she explained feeling her hands beginning to shake

"Ok come here" Roger said and picked her up in his arms. He carried her out of the cafe followed by the others and Amy passed out in his arms

-----

Amy woke with a start as beads of sweat poured down her forehead. She panted heavily and looked around the room. She was in her bedroom and it was dark outside. She heard laughter coming from the next room but was distracted by the sound of her cell phone going off. She reached over to her bedside table where it was still charging and closed her eyes, leaning back on the bed. "Hello?" she asked as she panted

"Hey, are you alright? Jane told me you passed out at dinner. I've been trying to call you for hours" Anthony's concerned voice echoed in her ear. She swallowed and calmed down her breathing

"Yeah um ... I recently took my medication. It makes me really sick ... I'll be ok in a few hours" she explained and coughed

"I'm coming over" he said and she heard him walking around the room he was in

"No, no, I'm fine, I'm used to it! Besides I'll fall back to sleep soon so I won't be much of a good companion or add to a conversation" she explained drying her forehead with the back of her right hand

"You are now! I saw the board as I was heading to a meeting. Congratulations, I can't wait to see what my girlfriend can do"

"Girlfriend? Do I get that status now with you Mr. De Angelo?" she asked opening her eyes

"If you want to be" Amy smiled softly and covered her mouth. She thought for a moment and moved her hand away

"I'd like that ... Look I need to go before I pass out again on the phone. I'm sure you wouldn't like the phone bill for that"

"Wait, are you free on Saturday?" he asked quickly

"At the minute yes, why?"

"Because I'd like to take my girlfriend out for the day" he explained

"I'll call you tomorrow about it" she hung up the phone as another load of sickness hit the pit of her stomach. She slowly stood up and left her room, squinting as the living room lights hit her eyes

"Hey, there she is! You decided to join the realm of the living?" Tom asked but Amy ignored him and headed straight for the bathroom slamming the door behind her. A few seconds later the sound of Amy being violently sick was heard by all. Roger walked to the bathroom door and tried to open it only to find the door was locked

"Amy, open the door honey I need to talk to you" he said and had no response. "Amy?" he asked once more

"Hang on ... just give me a minute" she responded and flushed the toilet. She took a few deep breathes before finally walking to the door and unlocking it. As soon as she did Roger opened the door and pulled her into a hug

"Are you ok?" he asked frantically

"Daddy I'm fine ... I feel better now for being sick actually" she explained and rested her forehead against him

"Can we get you anything sweetie?" Maureen asked

"Yeah some water would be great" Roger picked up Amy and carried her to couch. Mark grabbed a blanket and as Amy was lowered onto the couch on her right side Mark covered her with the blanket

"What happened? I don't remember leaving the cafe" she explained tightening the blanket around her body. Roger sat on the edge of the couch and rubbed her right arm to try and keep her warm

"You passed out, you've been asleep for about four hours ... I think you need to go to the doctor and get checked out" Roger explained and Amy shook her head

"I'm just reacting to my medication that's all"

"You haven't had a reaction where you have passed out" Mark explained hanging over the glass of water

"I passed out because that dinner was the first big meal I had eaten today and having it all come up got to me. If I felt worse I would tell you guys" she explained and looked around the room. "Where's Jane? Where's Tamsin?" she asked realising she was missing from the room

"Amy its 2am. Jane went back to campus to get some sleep. She said that if you didn't call her in the morning she would be coming over and calling you every minute from the moment she wakes up" Joanne explained

"Tamsin went to relieve the babysitter. I told her I'd be staying here tonight, make sure you are ok" Mark explained

"You didn't have to do that. You should be at home with your family" she said softly

"You are family Amy no matter what. If you're not ok then I'm not ok. I'm staying no ifs ands or buts alright?" he asked and she smiled

"That is such a dad thing to say"

"Yeah well get used to it!"

"Who were you talking to in your room? We heard your phone going off" Maureen asked

"It was Anthony congratulating me on the play. I told him what happened" Amy explained and swallowed some of the water. Tom decided to change the subject noticing Roger tensing up hearing Anthony's name

"So are you going to cast a particularly handsome man to play me?"

"Of course, I would not have it any other way" she smiled and for the next half an hour Amy answered the gang's questions about the play until she fell asleep once more

-----

"Amy! What are you doing here?" Jane asked seeing Amy entering the student bar. The girl's embraced and Nicholas came to their side along with Rose. "You should be resting"

"You look pale" Rose said taking Amy's bag off her before giving her a hug

"Guy's really I'm fine"

"Come sit down, congratulations on the play" Nicholas said holding his arm out to her. She smiled softly and let him wrap his arm around her shoulders and lead her to the table they had been sat at

"Thanks I'm ok now guys really. I was just a little under the weather the other night. I've had a long sleep and my medication is doing its work. I'm fine now. I don't need any more rest"

"No you need food and some water" Jane said handed Amy the bar food menu

"I'm not hungry I just had breakfast before dad dropped me off. I'm only here for a couple of hours today for an English lecture and tutor session and then dad is picking me up. I'll be fine, besides I've got to start on lining up the auditions, I don't know how too!"

"Well we have helped. We've already lined up auditions over a period of six hours a day for the next three days" Rose said smiling broadly

"Within 24 hours of the notice going up? How?"

"Well I created some posters requesting students to come to the auditions and placed them around the campus. We thought it best if the contact phone numbers would be mine and Jane's as you wouldn't want anyone having your phone number. Then I got onto the student website and set up an advert as the paper is once a week it is too long to wait. Then finally I figured that by targeting students that were mainly the drama students it wasn't fair for everyone else so I sent out an e-mail about the play to every student e-mail account. Every student is going to be opening their e-mails today and find our advert" Rose

"Do you think it'll work?" Amy asked

"Well you're fully booked for the next three days. Of course lectures will get in the way for all of us so we can take it in turns to watch them and Nicholas is going to help us record the auditions and take images of the candidates so you can make your choices in your own time" Jane explained

"Are you sure Nicholas?" Amy asked

"I wouldn't offer my services if I didn't mean it. Besides it will give me a chance to practice with my camera now all I have to do is get used to a video camera" he said with a smile

"I think the word you are looking for is a tri-pod" Rose said draping her left arm over Nicholas' shoulders

"Seriously guys, thank you"

"What are best friends for?" Jane asked

"Can I hire you guys as my new PA's?" Amy asked and the laughed

"Hell if it's good pay I'm on board" Nicholas said and Amy smiled softly

"I've got to go find Anthony before class" Amy said looking at her watch

"Oh has lover boy called you?" Jane asked smiling broadly

"Yeah he did"

"So is a second date if you are going to refer to it as a date going to take place?" Rose asked

"Yeah ... since we are now dating" she explained softly

"WHAT?" all three of them said in unison

"You can't do that Amy he's the bad boy who you sleep with but never date" Jane explained

"He's a guy who you fall back on but never date. He hates commitment and cannot be caged like a bird. He's like an eagle you have to set him free!" Rose explained

"Look he asked me not the other way around. Actually he called me his girlfriend before he asked me" Amy explained

"I think we should leave it to her. It is Amy's decision after all. You remember what it was like to be 15! It's her life so let her make her own decisions" Nicholas defended her

"Thank you Nicholas, now if you'll excuse me I have to go find him. I'll see you in class soon" Amy stood up and left the bar

"That girl needs to have her head screwed back on!" Jane said and finished her drink


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

**Mid ****October 2001**

"Thanks so much for coming you were all great. Thanks for being so patient with us today also! We'll be putting up the casting on the board in the next week so good luck and we may be seeing some of you again soon" Amy said and smiled to the group of the students auditioning that day and watched them leave the room. She had been holding auditions for the play and was nearly fully cast. She still needed to find a person to play Roger and a person to play Maureen. For some reason she found them the hardest to cast as there was a certain perfection she needed and wanted to hit with them both due to the vocal ranges they each needed to hit as well as the dominating sense of their individual characters. She especially wanted to find a guy whose voice was similar to Rogers', that same grainy rock tones that was so beautiful and smooth to listen to that he possessed. She had of course cast her friends in the play. Jane won the role of Joanne while Rose won the part of Mimi as they matched the roles perfectly. Amy was beginning to get desperate as she had been auditioning for three weeks and it was the final day of the auditions process

"So what did you think?" Jane asked as Amy sat on one of the empty chairs

"Not one of them is a Roger or Maureen. At least now I've found the various Life Support cast and such. There was only one girl out of all of the audition that may be able to pull off the role of Maureen and that was that girl Annabelle Johnson the fashion student. She's got an amazing voice, the perfect vocal range but I'm not sure if she has the power to hold it for four weeks. We may have to do constant work on her to make sure she can last all four weeks. So we either cast her and constantly work on her voice or choose a person who may or may not exist in this school! My cast list deadline to the heads of the drama department and the dean is in two days and I'm down by two principal characters! Why can't I find the people I need?" she asked closing her eyes

"You will, besides May is a long time away. She may be able to pull it off by then. Maybe you should go over the DVDs of the auditions and refresh your memory, you never know she could stand out as being better then you remembered" Nicholas suggested and she opened her eyes before looking at him

"That sounds good; do you know what else sounds good? A bowl of chips and a slice of pizza. What do you think guys? Watch some DVDs and eat some great very bad for you food?" Amy suggested

"Sounds bloody wonderful!" Rose said standing up and stretching

"We'll get the food, you guys set up the videos" Jane said standing up and linking her arm through Roses'

"Cool, pizza and chips for four then?" Rose asked and both Nicholas and Amy nodded. "See you soon" the girls left the room and Nicholas walked over to his bag

"So how are things going with you and Anthony? Why don't you cast him in the play?" he asked pulling the DVD cases out of his bag before looking at her

"No he doesn't have that passion I'm looking for and he doesn't sing either! It's going really good actually; daddy is still rather touchy about the matter. As long as I'm back by my curfew and we don't discuss the matter then he's fine. I think if I let loose the beast as it where then we could end up saying things we will regret so I make sure I don't and I also make sure they don't meet. What about you and Rose?"

"Great actually, her parents have invited us to Thanks Giving dinner as have my parents"

"So what have you told them?"

"That I'd think about it. To be honest I'd rather stay here. Besides with the play you may have given us the perfect excuse" Nicholas added with a cheeky smile and came to sit by Amy

"I've given Rose the perfect excuse. You however are still a mystery to me ... You know I've never heard you sing. Why didn't you audition for me?" Amy asked softly and he shrugged

"I guess I didn't think I was that good"

"Rose told me you were good ... Really good. So sing for me ... now" Amy asked and Nicholas looked at her wide eyed

"W ... Now?"

"It is just us Nicholas. You know that Rose never lies so if she says you're god then I already know you are! If I do cast you then you have to get used to standing up in front of people and singing" Amy explained and he smiled softly

"Yeah right like you'd cast me!"

"Well at least audition! You never know" she said and gave him a nudge on his arm. He stood up smiling and stood on the X on the floor as Amy turned on the video camera. "Ok please state your name" she asked

"Nicholas Dolton"

"And what will you be singing for me?" Amy asked sitting back down. She picked up her pen and began to write in her pad of paper. She had made comments about all the people who auditioned

"Um how about some of Bon Jovi's Always" Nicholas responded making Amy smile

"I love that song, my dad is a Bon Jovi fan too! Ok Nicholas when you are ready you can begin and I'll be making notes as you do" Amy explained as she wrote down his name staring at the paper making Nicholas smile. He cleared his throat and began to sing

_This Romeo is bleeding_

_But you can't see his blood_

_Its nothing but some feelings_

_That this old dog kicked up_

Amy stopped writing taken aback by his voice. It was perfect somehow so she slowly raised her head to look at him

_It's been raining since you left me_

_Now I'm drowning in the flood_

_You see I've always been a fighter_

_But without you I give up_

_Now I can__'__t sing a love song_

_Like the way it__'__s meant to be_

_Well, I guess I__'__m not that good anymore_

_But baby, that__'__s just me_

She watched him, open mouthed unable to write notes and could only focus on him. He was exactly what she had been looking for

_And I will love you, baby - always_

_And I'll be there forever and a day - always_

_I'll be there till the stars don't shine_

_Till the heavens burst and_

_The words don't rhyme_

_And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind_

_And I__'__ll love you __–__ always_

"That was amazing" Amy said after a few seconds of silence

"Thanks" Nicholas muttered walking towards her

"I told you he was good didn't I?" The two heard Rose's voice and they looked to the door to see Rose and Jane carrying bags of food

"Why didn't you tell us you could sing?" Jane asked as she and Rose walked over to the chairs

"I didn't think it mattered. Besides I'm not good enough for the play" Nicholas explained turning off the camera

"Not good enough? With a bit of practice, some tuning up, you'd be perfect. You sound just like my dad, it's uncanny" Amy explained

"Really?" he asked and she nodded

"I know this is sudden but ... the part is yours if you want it, there is no one who auditioned who has what you have. You don't have to go through with it but if I turn up to my meeting in two days with two principal roles left blank I will be in so much trouble! Please you will be saving my life?!"

"Oh go on honey, how can you ignore that face?" Rose asked and seeing Amy's begging face made Nicholas smile

"I'm not promising perfection but ... When do I start?" Amy instantly jumped into his arms making him laugh and the others applaud

"This is so cool! We'll get to play a couple on stage as well as in life!" Rose said with a giggle

"Well let's watch these DVDs and try to find our Maureen" Jane said as Amy parted from Nicholas's embrace

-----

**TWO**** WEEK LATER**

Amy heard the voices of her principal cast members in the theatre hall and she took a deep breath. It was the first time that they would be gathered together and Amy would have to make a speech and try to motivate them. They had known they had been cast for a week and so they had time to go over parts of the script with them as they had no idea what the subject of the play was about. Luckily for her all the cast were really into the play's contents and she had no issues with any of them. She had met up with the other cast members the previous day but being the principals first meeting was extremely important to her. She took another deep breath and carrying the final scripts in her arms she entered the room. As soon as the principal cast members saw her enter they began to applaud making Amy smile broadly and she put the scripts down on a table on the stage where everyone was sat on various chairs and tables on. "Ok everyone, how are you all doing?" she asked grabbing a spare chair

"Good" they all said and finished clapping

"Ok first of all I want to say congratulations for getting the roles you have and I want to thank you for putting your faith in me and for auditioning for your roles. I've never done this before so I feel that if we are all honest with each other and help each other out like the real life group that you are all going to be depicting then we can really make this show amazing. I know there are aspects of this play that people wouldn't want to depict and the fact that you are here shows me that you are fully committed to the play. I know there may be times you feel uncomfortable but I know we can get through it and make this a positive show with a bold message. I also know it must be really annoying to have someone younger then you boss you about so I thank you for not trying to kill me when I drive you nuts!" everyone giggled. "Ok so to start I just want us to go around the room and introduce ourselves, give a little information about yourself and the person you will be depicting. Why don't we start off with Jane?" Jane smiled softly

"Ok I'm Jane Simmons and I'm playing Joanne Jefferson. I'm 18 years old and I'm studying English Literature and Drama" Jane explained and the next person took their turn

"I'm Annabelle Johnson and I'm playing Maureen Johnson. I'm 19 years old and I'm studying fashion design" Annabelle explained smiling softly and the next person took their turn

"I'm Rose Parker and I'm playing Mimi Marques. I'm 18 years old and I'm studying English Literature and drama" Rose explained and the next person took their turn

"Hey I'm Tim Richards and I'm playing Mark. I'm 20 years old and I'm in my final year of studying Drama" Tim explained and the next person took their turn

"I'm Nicholas Dolton and I'm playing Roger Davis. I'm 18 and I'm studying photography and 2D art" Nicholas explained and the next person took their turn

"I'm Carlton Smith and I'm playing Tom Collins. I'm 19 and I'm studying philosophy" Carlton explained and the next person took their turn

"I'm Sampson Regent and I'm playing Benny. I'm 18 years old and I'm studying history" Sampson explained and the next person took their turn

"Hey I'm Marco Fuller and I'm playing Angel. I'm 20 years old and I'm in my final year of studying dance and drama" Amy smiled to the group

"Ok well I'm Amy – Rose Davis, I'm 15 and I'm the author, director, choreographer, composer, and casting director for our play and I apologies for such a long title!" she laughed making the others laugh

"Work it girl!" Jane said making the laugher louder and made Amy feel a lot more comfortable

As you know this is about a year in the life of my father and his friends before I entered their lives. I have a copy of the completed script so if you take one and pass the rest on you can begin to learn your lines" Amy explained and handed the pile of scripts to the person closest to her which was Jane. "Alright I know this is going to be a little weird but I need you to understand the severity of the subject. So if you'll gather up your things there is somewhere I need to take you all. I've got a limo waiting outside for us and the mini bar is full and you can have anything! It's all already paid for!" she explained and everyone did as they were told. Everyone chatted with each other as if they had known each other forever and was having a good time. It was when the car stopped at the location that Amy's serious tone over took her

"Are we here?" Jane asked and Amy nodded

"Yep, come on guys" she responded climbing out of the limo. To the surprise of everyone they had pulled up to a grave yard

"What are we doing here?" Tim asked looking around

"I want you to meet a couple of friends" she said softly and began to walk through the grave yard. As the group walked in silence Amy explained what she had kept bottled up. "Lives are a funny thing, you drink, have sex, dabble in drugs, experiment with sexuality, your broke, you go through job after job and still it is your friends, lovers and family that keep you going. Through thick and thin they stand together and don't let deadly diseases define who they are" she stopped in front of a couple of graves side by side and everyone gathered around. "Guys I have HIV and I live everyday knowing I'm one day closer to dying and it may be possible that when I go to sleep I may never wake up again. I guess we could say that everyone is in the same position in world if they have disease or not but for me it is a certainty ... I don't know if I'll live to be 18 ... In two months my father will be 40 which will be a landmark year if he gets to that point ... here lies our beloved friends Angel and Mimi who died within six months of each other, yesterday was the 11th anniversary of Angel's passing and in Febuary it will be the 10th anniversary of Mimi's passing. Mimi passed away a couple of months after the events of the play"

"What can we do to help you?" Jane asked and Amy turned to face the group with silent tears flowing down her cheeks

"This is really serious to me guys. I don't want sympathy; I don't want my condition to overtake everything and I don't want you to feel lost in the plays subject. I want to give a voice to those who can't, make people see that although HIV and AIDS is not in the public eye as it used to be it still exists and that those who suffer from such diseases can love, can feel and can have extraordinary lives through it all. I need your help to make it come to life. I know this is a rather harsh way to present you into my world but I live with death every day. It constantly sits in the back of my mind, haunts my dreams, and at least twice a month me and my friends come here to bury another friend we have loved and lost. It is what you will need to get into and believe to be able to understand why my family and friends felt the way they did and so conducted the actions that changed their futures. So for the rest of this meeting I want us to go for a walk and you to just ask me questions and I will answer as brutally honest as possible and I want you to be brutally honest with me in the process. If we aren't honest with each other then this won't work" Amy explained and felt someone squeeze her right hand. She turned her head and came face to face with Nicholas

"Do you trust us?" Marco asked and Amy dried her cheeks before looking at him

"Yeah I do, I wouldn't have cast you otherwise" she smiled and for the next few hours the group walked and talked sharing everything, becoming friends and not letting anything hold back their emotions


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**NOVEMBER 2001**

The sound of her cell phone going off woke Amy and looking around she realised she had fallen asleep at the kitchen table. She had been writing an assignment and had fallen asleep mid sentence. She quickly grabbed her phone and answered the call. "Yep?" she asked wiping her eyes

"Well hello to you too! You sound drunk" Nicholas's voice echoed in her ears making her smile

"Hey sorry I was sleeping" she explained and looked around the room. She noticed the clock said it was 11am

"Oh I'm sorry you go back to bed"

"No I guess my busy schedule has taken its toll! I've been in meeting after meeting over the publicity, budget, and costumes for the play. Add lectures, spending time with my family, Anthony and assignments on top I've been losing sleep for weeks. I fell asleep writing an assignment and I've just realised I must have been leaning on my laptop as I have ten pages of a document consisting of the letter 'e'" she heard Nicholas laugh. "I guess I could do with a break from everything really! I haven't really had a life lately, I've only seen Anthony for a few moments at a time and the last was two weeks ok. Now I've realised I'm babbling so what can I do for you actor of mine and please don't say you want to quit because I will pass out right now if you do?" she asked in an over the top theatrical tone

"No I'm not asking for that so you can breathe again! I was wondering if you would do me a favour?"

"That depends, what is the favour?" she asked closing her laptop

"I've had a great idea for my end of year 2D art project. I've discussed it with my tutor and he really likes it. I want to combine my photography skills with my other art skills by taking photos of people and integrating them into a 2D art environment. However I need a subject. I'm taking photographs of various different people for the project; I've already shot all the guys in the play and even my tutor Mr. Larson but I still haven't got a great main shot so I was wondering if you would pose for me?" Nicholas asked and Amy sat in silence for a moment

"Wow ... I don't know what to say! Sure I'll do it. I'm busy today working on my assignments so when do you want to do this?"

"Well what about we tomorrow at 10am, I've got access to one of the small art rooms that my tutor uses. That's where I've been shooting"

"Yeah that would be great" she said and yawned "Sorry"

"That's ok, you had better not let your dad see you yawning so much or he'll put you on permanent bed rest!"

"Well lucky for me he's gone to Chicago for a few days to see some artist who is interested in his new song. Another one for a movie I think, I didn't really focus on the details!" Amy explained feeling the tension in her neck increase as she moved about in her chair

"He left his 15 year old daughter all alone for a few days?"

"It's not like I'm totally alone, I get phone calls from dad and visits from the gang every five minutes of the day and every night one of them has made an excuse to sleep over. Mark got caught up in traffic last night and couldn't get out of the city. The night before Tom wasn't feeling too good and the night before that Maureen and Joanne realised they had never been to a slumber party and wanted to know what it was like! I know I'm 15 and my dad is worried about me being alone but I'm not a baby you know?"

"Well in the absents of your dad I say get back to bed before you fall asleep or else you'll find another ten pages but of the letter 't'" Nicholas said making Amy laugh

"ET? Next you'll be saying you want my phone to call home!"

"Quite literally in your dream Davis now off to bed. I don't want you groggy on our shoot tomorrow"

"Yes dad!" she said like a five year old making both of them laugh and she hung up the phone. She lowered the phone on the table and rubbed the back of her neck to trying and relieve the tension. Suddenly shooting pains hit an area of her neck which she had rubbed. She brought her hand to her face and the colour drained from her face seeing her hand, a sight she had never seen before. Her fingers were covered in her blood. "Oh shit" she muttered and ran to the bathroom to be violently sick

-----

"So what is it exactly that you're doing in this project of yours?" Amy asked sitting on a stool in front of a black screen and the lights set up by Nicholas whilst he finished sorting the focus on his camera

"Well I'm creating a painting which, I haven't fully decided yet but I think it will be a part of the city that is very visual such as the Bethesda Fountain. Anyway integrated with the brush strokes I'm going to make a collage of parts of black and white photos to make up the textures and the shadows of the overall image. Even if you are not the chosen subject as it were your pictures may become a part of it" he explained and she nodded. Right as she did Nicholas took a picture startling her

"Oh that wasn't one of them was it?" she asked and Nicholas smiled looking up at her

"I'll make it a test shot don't you worry. Well I'm ready when you are" he explained and she raised an eyebrow

"I hope you don't mind me wearing my hoodie? I've been feeling the cold a lot more lately!"

"You look fine, relax!"

"Well how do you want me to be exactly? When I've done photo shoots in the past with magazines I tend to be told be the all American girl who's naughty inside!" Amy giggled

"Well that could work! My way of shooting is to be totally relaxed. Act natural and have fun! I want to catch reality" Amy smiled broadly and Nicholas began to take various pictures of her. She posed in various ways, leant forward with her head in her hands, her hands in her hair, serious, laughing, and standing up, spinning in circles, dancing, anything that was fun all the while Nicholas took her pictures. As time went on Nicholas and Amy began to get to know each other more talking about everything and everyone associated with the play as well as their own lives

"You know you are more like Mark then you realise. Instead of a video camera you have a regular camera. Joined at the hip, always being used every minute of the day"

"I guess that is why we get along so well. I love photography, to be able to capture a moment of brilliance on film takes a lot but I think it is harder in photography and that is what I love. The challenge and the thrill of it. The ways you can get into someone's' mind and express their emotions with one click, it's amazing. You know when I first found out who you were and who you live with every single day it really struck me you are so lucky" Amy looked down at her lap and saw her beeper. It went off but she wouldn't press the button to turn it off

"Yeah I get to hang out with my family two of which are known worldwide. I get followed around by paparazzi; I can't do anything without it being ripped apart by people. I live a lie everyday and survive on medication that makes me feel sicker then I already am. On top of that I have to be a regular teenager. I'm not so lucky Nicholas ... you're the lucky one" when she glanced up at him her face extremely pale and looking tired. Nicholas took another picture and saw the look of fear and sorrow in her eyes. For a moment they just looked at each other, a form of understanding formed between them both. Nicholas looked at his camera before glancing back up to her

"The film is full, I'll get a new one, how about we take a break?" he suggested and she smiled softly. She stood up and turned off the beeper. Nicholas put the used film roll away and found he couldn't find a replacement. "I'll be right back my spare rolls are in my room, do you need anything?" he asked and she shook her head pulling out her pills from her bag. Nicholas nodded and left the room. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm his own emotions before heading for his place. He rushed over so he didn't have to leave her alone for too long. He grabbed a couple of rolls and headed back for the main building. When entering the reception area of the campus the sound of a motorbike caught his attention. He watched the motorcyclist with a passenger circle the bike and come to a stop. He instantly recognised the driver as Anthony from the jacket he always wore. From behind a pillar Nicholas watched Anthony remove his helmet as the passenger stood up. Nicholas raised an eyebrow seeing the passenger under the helmet was a beautiful girl with jet black hair and big black eyes. She smiled broadly and handed over the helmet. He couldn't hear their conversation but he understood what he saw. The girl bent over towards him and kissed him softly. She turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm to spin her around and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Nicholas turned away and kept out of sight. The sudden thought to Amy hit him as he heard Anthony's motorbike drive away. Nicholas headed back to the art block and entered the room where Amy was. When he entered he saw Amy on her mobile laughing so he changed the film in his camera

"Yeah that sounds great ... Look I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, everything has been so crazy ... yeah sounds great ... ok bye" she hung up the phone and bit her bottom lip

"Ok we are ready to roll!" Nicholas said trying to smile and seem relaxed

"That was Anthony, he's been checking up on me. Making sure I'm taking my medication and such. He is such a worrier. We are going out later it'll be the first time in two weeks I can't wait. I've missed our time together you know?" she asked looking at Nicholas but he kept focused on the camera

"Yeah I know" he muttered

"Are you ok Nicholas?" she asked walking towards him

"Yeah I guess I'm feeling a little tired. I think it'll be a night in for me tonight, I guess we've switched roles for the evening"

"Yeah I guess so! ... Um Nicholas?" she asked and he plucked up the courage to look at her. "I want you to know that ... this whole thing with me being sick I ... I can't escape it but I was wondering if it is ok that I talk to you about it? I really need a friend at the minute who will really listen to me" she asked which surprised him

"I have to tell you something" he suddenly blurted out before he could stop himself

"I have to show you something ... I need your help" she explained and the look of terror came over her face

"What is it?" he asked and touched her shoulder. She instantly hissed and took a step back confusing him even more. She took off the hoodie and underneath she wore a white wife beater. She slowly turned around and he saw small blotches of blood absorbed by the white wife beater against her back making him feel sick to his stomach. She lifted up the back of her top and he saw a few legions on her neck and back. The shock of seeing it made him cover his mouth and stand in stunned silence for a moment. He saw she was shivering so he came to her side and helped her put her hoodie back on. She glanced to him with a soft tear rolling down her right cheek

"We need to get you to a hospital" he said wrapping his arm as softly around her as possible

"I'm so scared ... when dad found legions three years ago he found out he had AIDS ... I'm not ready for that I can't cope with any of it" she explained breaking down crying and he pulled her into a soft embrace and she cried softly against his chest

"It's going to be ok. We need to call someone, Mark or Tom. Someone needs to know"

"No I ... I just need to do this with as few people as possible, please Nicholas I need you" she begged and he nodded

"Come on let's go find Jane and we'll go to the hospital ok?" he asked and he felt Amy nod slowly and the sting of tears hit the back of his eyes. "You're going to be ok Amy, me and Jane will stay with you all the way I promise ok?" he said as they parted and he held her hand

"Ok" she muttered

"Right you sit down and I'll pack up all my stuff" he commanded and she did as she was told. "When did you find those things?" he asked as he quickly packed up his things

"Yesterday after you called me, I've never had them before. I know so much about HIV and AIDS I mean damn it I've lived with it for 15 years. When something changes like this everything in your mind just disappears in the blink of an eye"

"Well let's think positive ok?" he said as he put his bags and hers on his shoulders. "Ok let's go find Jane" Amy took his hand once more and they slowly walked through the campus to the bar. It was packed as it was now lunch time Amy had to close her eyes since the music was too loud for her. Nicholas sat her down on one of the chairs. "Ok I can see Jane across the bar so I'll leave you here for one minute ok?" Amy nodded looking up at him and began to shiver

"Do you see Anthony?" she asked and he looked around

"No but I can ring him if you like?" Nicholas asked with a soft smile trying to make her feel better whilst inside he felt his heart being ripped out due to what he knew

"No ... just find Jane ... I'll be ok here" she reassured him and he gave her hands a soft squeeze before making his way across the bar as quickly as possible. She was alone for less than two minutes as Jane ran over and knelt in front of Amy

"Amy, girl are you ok?" she asked worried and Amy saw how scared she was

"Yeah just ... I need to get out of here" she explained and swallowed as her throat was dry

"Ok come on" Jane said picking up Amy's things. Nicholas held onto Amy softly wrapping his arm around her. They made their way across the room slowly but surely until Amy suddenly stopped

"Amy what is it?" Nicholas asked turning to face her

"I ... can't ... breathe" she explained and suddenly fell to the ground. As she did she hit one of the pool tables next to her

"AMY!" Jane screamed alerting everyone and the music stopped as Nicholas knelt to the ground by the semi – conscious Amy

"Oh my God! Is she ok?" many people began to ask crowding around her

"Back up guys give her some air!" Nicholas said softly stroking Amy's hair. "Amy can you hear me?" he asked but the only response he got was the occasional flicker of her eyes opening and closing. She began to shake even more so Nicholas took off his jacket and draped it over her torso

"Coming through" a bar man said approaching Nicholas. "What happened?" he asked kneeling at Amy's side

"Her name is Amy. She's not well, we were on our way to the hospital and she said she couldn't breathe then she was on the ground. I think she may have hit her head on the pool table as she fell" Nicholas explained as quickly as possible

"Ok Amy? I'm Steven. Can you tell me if your head hurts at all?" he asked but got no response from Amy so he turned to his co – worker. "Call an ambulance tell them we have a possible head injury and she is semi – conscious and open the windows she needs fresh air" the other bar man nodded and pulled out his phone. "Is she on any medication?"

"Yeah she has HIV" Jane said kneeling by Nicholas and instantly regretted saying it out load as everyone was listening

"Alright everyone please back off we need to give her as much air as possible, the beer garden is open so you can take your drinks out there we would really appreciate it if you did so" Steven explained and everyone did as they were told

"Thanks" Nicholas said

"No problem, can you contact her relatives?"

"Yeah" Jane said with tears flowing down her cheeks

"Can we move her at all? She found these things on her back that were bleeding. I'm afraid they'll get worse if she lies like this" Nicholas asked

"No not until the paramedics come and access her" Steven explained

"She is going to be ok isn't she?" Jane asked and Nicholas wrapped his arm around her

"Let's see what the paramedics say ok? The most important thing is that we make sure Amy is comfortable and try to keep her conscious. Talk to her about anything it could work" Steven explained. For the next five minutes through tears Jane talked to Amy about the play and her costume choice but had to stop when the paramedics arrived. Through the whole experience Nicholas stayed at Amy's side and explained about the legions on her back

"Only one of you can come in the ambulance" One of the paramedics said as they wheeled her into the ambulance

"You go I'll use Amy's phone to call Mark" Nicholas said holding up Amy's phone

"Are you sure?" Jane asked

"Yeah go you're in no state to be alone right now. She needs you so go ... go!" Nicholas said and Jane quickly hugged him before entering the ambulance. He watched it pull away and took a deep breath. His hands suddenly began to shake and he headed out of the campus, going through Amy's phone book. He finally found Marks number and as he jogged through the streets of New York he dialled the number. "Come on! Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up" he said over and over as he heard the ringing tone

"Hey Amy you ok?" Marks voice finally echoed in his ear

"Mark its Nicholas"

"Oh hey Nicholas you ok?"

"No not really. It's Amy, something has happened"

"What happened? Is she ok?" Mark asked in a panic

"She collapsed and banged her head. She couldn't breathe and she found these legion things on her back and neck. Jane went with her in the ambulance. She's on her way to hospital. I didn't know who else to call since Roger is in Chicago and you were the only other person who entered my head in such short time. I'm sorry you may be in a meeting for all I know" Nicholas explained feeling tears fill his eyes

"No it's ok you did the right thing. I'm leaving now. Where are you?"

"I'm on my way to the subway"

"Ok I'm on my way; I'll meet you at the hospital"

"Is there anything I can do?" Nicholas asked feeling useless

"No you've been great but now you have to leave it in my hands ok? I'll call the necessary people and I'll see you there"

"Ok I'll keep Amy's phone on in case you need to call me"

"Thanks Nicholas I'll be there soon"

"Ok bye" Hanging up Nicholas felt relief but then everything that happened filled his mind and in the corner of the subway cart he cried softly unsure what to do or even if he did the right things in the first place

**(A/N: Ok I'm doing the whole stages of this disease like they did in Philadelphia in which it isn't exactly in the correct medical order but go with it!!!**** I hope you enjoyed this chapter! TKAMB aka Becky)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10:**

"She is going to be ok isn't she Nicholas?" Jane asked as the two sat nervously in the waiting room. He turned to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders

"I don't know, I don't even know what happened. She'll be ok; you know what she's like. She a fighter" he said and she leant her head against his shoulder

"I've never felt so scared in my life ... I've never had anyone ... die in my family" Jane explained as soft tears began to fall. Nicholas kissed the top of Jane's head and tightened his grip on her shoulder

"You're one of the lucky ones" he muttered in response. Jane lifted her head looking at him confused but her eyes caught on someone else

"Mark!" she said standing up and Mark pulled her into a hug. She sobbed into his chest as he looked towards Nicholas

"Are you two ok?" he asked still holding Jane

"We still haven't heard anything" Nicholas explained and Jane parted from Mark

"I'm sorry" she said and Mark dried her cheeks

"Don't apologise, I'm glad you guys are ok. I've called the others they are on their way" Mark explained sitting Jane down and sitting between the two

"What about Roger?" Jane asked

"As soon as I called he went straight to the airport and that he'd be here ASAP so until he gets here I'm standing in as dad" Mark explained

"Has she ever had a turn like this before?" Nicholas asked and Mark shook his head

"She's always had issues with her medication as her stomach never cooperated with them but nothing like this. We told her to go the doctor when she collapsed at the Cafe when she found out about the play. She said it was because she hadn't eaten all day but I knew I should have pushed her to go. I've noticed she's been tired and losing weight lately, I should have taken her myself" Mark explained leaning back on his chair 

"You did what you could Mark, don't blame yourself" Nicholas said

"I'm sorry you had to deal with this" 

"I didn't do anything, if it weren't for Nicholas covering her with his jacket, holding her hand and talking to her she could have been in a much worse condition. I certainly wouldn't know what to do" Jane explained and Nicholas stared at the floor in silence

"I know Roger will want to thank you Nicholas for being the hero of the hour" Mark said and Nicholas shook his head

"I'm not a hero ... I felt myself shaking the whole time" he explained with tears in his eyes and Mark wrapped his arm around Nicholas's shoulders to comfort him

"You kept it together though, that's the main thing. I'm sure she appreciates it too" Nicholas nodded at Marks words as he leant forward resting his elbows on his knees and hands against his mouth. There they sat in silence until Maureen entered making a lot of noise running through the corridors and slamming the doors

"Where is she?" Maureen asked approaching Mark who stood up and pulled her into a hug

"They are still working on her" he explained as he held her close

"Oh Jane come here" Maureen said parting from Mark. She saw Jane was still in tears and held her close. It wasn't long before they were joined by Joanne and Tom. All they could do was sit and wait and they did so for an hour

"Amy – Rose Davis family?" a doctor asked approaching them and the gang stood up

"Yeah that's us is she ok?" Mark asked making him the centre person in the group for the doctor to focus on

"Hello I'm Doctor Fields. Are you her father?" the doctor asked carrying a file

"No I'm a close friend to the family we all are. Her father is in Chicago he's on his way back, please tell us if she is ok" Mark asked

"I'm afraid that I can only give my patients information to family" he explained and everyone looked annoyed especially Maureen

"Listen buddy, we ARE family. We may not be related to Amy and her father by blood but we have been through EVERYTHING together for the past 15 years that we have known Roger so we are family. So why don't you look at those documents you have in your hands there and tell us what the hell is going on ok?" Maureen said raising her voice. Joanne took her right hand and squeezed it to calm her down

"Look we are the closest thing she has while her dad is away, please?" Tom asked and the doctor nodded

"Ok, we have taken a few tests as her file shows that she has had HIV since birth. Have you noticed any changes in her behaviour lately?"

"She has been really tired lately and feeling ill but we thought it was because of the play she is doing" Jane explained

"She did collapse last month but she hadn't eaten" Tom explained

"She's losing weight too" Mark added

"She found those legions yesterday. What is it?" Nicholas asked

"I'm afraid that Amy's medication is not strong enough as her disease has developed. Tests have shown she has reached stage one of AIDS" Everyone stood in stunned silence. "We found that she must have rubbed the legion at the base of her neck too hard causing it to open and bleed. It has become infected causing the others to also become infected and bleed. We have bandaged up her back to prevent further infection and to make her more comfortable. The infection has given her a fever as well as a form of hallucination so we have sedated her to prevent further damage to her back. We have put her on a ventilator to help her breath also as she has been having some trouble. Now we know where her health currently stands we have started her on a cause of new medication to fight the AIDS and control her fever but I have to tell you she is in a critical condition with her fever. I'm sorry but it is possible that this fever could be enough to destroy her immune system entirely" he explained and Jane clung onto Nicholas who let her sob into his shoulder

"She's dying?" Nicholas asked his voice breaking with emotion

"Not dying but in a position where she is close, the next 24 hours will be crucial" the doctor tried to explain in the best possible way

"How long will she be here?" Joanne asked

"It is a case that we have to wait and see. It is up to her. If she pulls through this then after that depending on her stability both physically and mentally she may or may not be sent to a private rehabilitation centre"

"Mentally? You think she's got mental issues?" Tom asked in shock

"No I mean that with such a big change some patients feel they need to spend some time sorting out their issues before returning the their everyday life. Also we do not know how her back will be and she may need more rest in a place that will be more comfortable for her. This isn't a place that a celebrity would want to stay I'm sure of it and also with the private centre she can be away from the press which have gathered outside. I'll discuss it further when her father arrives" 

"Thank you, can we go see her?" Maureen asked

"Of course but remember she is heavily sedated and won't be awake for some time. It's up to her now" he explained and led them into Amy's room. On entering they saw Amy lay on her back extremely pale with her bed sheet up to her chest, her arms over the top. Beads of sweat covered her face and bare arms and they could see her bed robe and the bed sheets themselves clung onto her. She had a breathing tube down her throat that was hooked up to a machine and she was also linked up to IVs and machines that read her vitals. No one could talk they just stared at her in silence all feeling total despair

"Can she hear us?" Maureen asked turning to the doctor

"Yes if she listens, with patients that have hallucinations and fevers they only focus on voices and such if they choose to. We don't know what she is dreaming, what she can see or hear so we can't tell. Talk to her, it may help, many patients also that are in comas respond very well to hearing their relatives talk to them. I'll let you spend some time with her. If you need me I'll be on the ward and 

the nurses' station is just outside" the doctor explained and left the room. Maureen walked to Amy's side and took one of Amy's hands that rested on her chest

"Hey baby cakes! You know if you wanted our attention you didn't have to go to these lengths! We are all here as well as Jane and Nicholas but your dad is still in Chicago. He's on his way isn't he Mark?" Maureen asked as silent tears fell and indicated for him to come over which he did

"Yeah, yeah he's on his way so you are going to have to put up with us for the meantime"

"Poor thing!" Tom said making the others giggle

"Yeah and what were you thinking wearing a hoodie anyway girl? I told you they don't flatter unlike a good leather crop top!" Jane added making Maureen smile

"See I like her, I wish she was playing me in the play" Maureen said

"Well she's stuck playing me for the meantime" Joanne said and Jane smiled

"That is not a bad thing. Nicholas is under worse pressure he has to play Roger!"

"Hey you know I look good in the leather jacket Miss jealous!" he responded smiling while inside he was hitting the depth of despair. Suddenly the sound of a cell phone going off filled the ears of everyone in the room

"Someone should turn that off, it could affect the machines" Tom said and everyone checked theirs to find it did not belong to them

"I think its Amy's phone" Nicholas said going through Amy's bag. He pulled out the ringing phone and looked at the ID. Seeing Anthony's name flash up on screen he felt pure anger. "I'll take it outside" he explained and answered the call as he left the room

"Oh my God Amy is that you? Are you ok?" Anthony's voice echoed in Nicholas's ears and he felt his anger increase. He walked down the hall and headed for the stairs so the gang couldn't hear

"It's Nicholas; Amy's friend, we've met a few times" he explained

"Oh Nicholas sorry, is she ok?" 

"Why don't you come to the hospital and find out or are you too busy making out with other girls to do so?" 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Anthony asked and Nicholas could hear the tone of anger in his voice

"I saw you today making out with that girl on the back of your motorcycle ... you make me sick do you know that?" 

"Look kid, I don't have to explain myself to you"

"Just because you are one year older than me it does not make me a kid ok? At least I'm here with Amy; I'm not making her look like an idiot"

"Hey I've tried to get to the hospital but security aren't letting anyone through that isn't family and there are so many photographers that I can't get through the crowd unless you come out and get me" Nicholas let out a laugh

"No way!" Nicholas looked out of the window along the stairway and saw the huge crowd of press and the police vehicles preventing the crowd from getting any closer to the hospital

"Well Amy would say otherwise"

"Yeah well Amy could be dying and is heavily sedated so she isn't in a position to say otherwise" silence fell over the two of them

"What?" Anthony asked softly

"You heard, there is nothing we can do except sit and wait to see if she decides to pull through or not from her fever. I'm not going to come down so you sit out there and wait just like the rest of us and consider what she means to you. If you really cared for her you wouldn't have done it. Now who is the kid?" Nicholas responded and hung up the phone. He turned off the cell phone and took a deep breath. He took a few moments to calm himself down, sitting on the steps before going back. On entering the room he put the phone back in Amy's bag

"Who was it?" Tom asked

"Anthony, he heard what happened but he can't get here because of the press and the police outside, they have shut off the entrance to the hospital to the press and aren't letting anyone through unless with medical staff. Since Amy and Anthony have managed to keep their relationship on the low from the press they don't believe who he is and won't let him through the barrier" 

"We should go down and get him" Jane said heading for the door and Nicholas stopped her

"No he's gone back to campus"

"He's her boyfriend, he should be here" Mark said and Nicholas shook his head

"He's made his choice" everyone looked at each other confused but turned their attention back to Amy

----- 

Mark used a flannel to wipe the beads of sweat off Amy's face and hands as he had nothing else to distract him. He had stayed up all night and had been the only one in the room who managed to stay awake. As he put the flannel down he glanced out the window and saw the sun was beginning to rise. It had been an extremely tense few hours as there was no improvement to her health and Mark counted down every second, minute and hour. He sat on the edge of the bed close to her and held her right hand

"You've done really well Amy, but you're going to have to hang on a bit longer. I'm not sure when your dad will get here. You can't go without him being here and seeing you first ... Look I've never done the sappy speech or anything to you but if I don't get this off my chest now I never will. I'm sorry you have to put up with me right now. I've never understood you, ever since you were little. You had this way of being able to completely understand everything and everyone, a skill I've always wanted to possess but I could never reach it. You have this ability to make everyone like you and you can do anything! But at the same time you are stubborn and so head strong and you've grown up so fast in a blink of an eye that I just want to scream sometimes from a dad perspective that is ... I've always wondered what our lives would have been like if you weren't in it. Both I and your father wouldn't have our careers; we would still be trying to get by paying the rent and having our power cut by Benny, and I wouldn't have met Tamsin or be a dad myself. The positive defiantly outshines the negative but I want you to know I don't regret and you shouldn't regret anything. You set a goal of living your life as you wanted and spending everyday like it's your last and for being in or lives I want to thank you for that. I think it is safe to say that from the prospective of me and your dad ... you were the one that saved us so thank you" Mark explained quietly and wiped away silent tears on his cheeks. As he did he noticed her vitals machine began to beep which awoke everyone

"What's going on?" Joanne asked

"I don't know" Mark responded and hit a button of the wall to call for help. "Within a minute two nurses entered. "Something's wrong" Mark said to her and stepped aside

"Amy? Can you hear me?" one asked and glanced at the machine. "Page Doctor Fields and get the crash cart" she explained and the other came to the group

"We are going to have to ask you to step outside"

"What? No we have to stay here, she needs us" Jane explained

"I'm afraid we need to help Amy and we need all the room possible" the nurse explained ushering them out of the room. They nervously waited in the relatives room in silence, the only sound was of Maureen pacing back and forth across the room. When the door opened everyone stood up to see Doctor Fields

"Is she ok?" everyone asked and Doctor Fields smiled softly

"Her fever became too much making her vitals go astray but her temperature hasstarteddecreasing. Her fever is breaking" he explained and everyone hugged each other with relief. "She isn't out of the woods yet. She is still sleeping and on the ventilator and will be for a few more hours but we are really hopeful giving her signs" 

"Thank you so much" Tom said and the Doctor nodded. Mark however didn't focus as the flashing lights outside distracted him. He looked out of the window and saw the press swamping a car that was coming into the hospital

"Roger" he muttered and rushed out of the room. He ran out of the ward and down the manyflights of stairs to the reception. There he came face to face with an extremely tired looking and petrified Roger. "Roger it's ok, she's ok now. She's been critical for 24 hours but she's getting through it. I'm so glad you're here" Mark reassured him and Roger pulled his best friend into a hug

"I came as fast as I could but my flight got delayed ... Is it ...?" he asked as they parted and Mark nodded and Roger felt tears fill his eyes

"She's at stage one but she's ok she has an infection and a fever which is breaking. Come on the doctor will explain all" 

"Thank you so much Mark for all of this, I'm sorry you had to deal with my stuff" Roger explained and Mark shook his head

"Don't focus on it, it is ok now. Come on everyone is waiting for you" Mark said and took him up to the ward where everyone was relieved to see him


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

_Amy ran as fast as she could from the darkness. It had engulfed everything around her and now she was running for her life. As she ran she saw people in her lives and reached out for them only for them to be taken too. "Daddy help!" she screamed but had no response as tears flowed down her cheeks. "Help! Somebody! I need someone please; I don't want to be alone!" Suddenly everything went white and she could hardly see anything. She kept her eyes closed and heard footsteps approaching her. "Daddy? Anthony? Guys?" she said holding out her hand trying to reach for the person. She felt her hand come in contact with someone's shoulder. "Hello?" she asked and felt the person's upper body. It was a man with long hair that she knew so well. "Daddy" she said and opened her eyes. As soon as she did the darkness over took her and she screamed feeling the ground beneath her collapse. She hit a hard surface and opening her eyes she could only see a white light and hear her panting breath _

The sound of beeping filled Amy's ears and she slowly become aware of her back aching. She could feel she had tubes in her nose and the back of her left hand stung. The beeping really started to annoy her like an alarm clock so she tried to lift her hand to turn off whatever was making the racket, the furthest she got however was lift her hand only a few centimetres off the bed. "Amy?" she heard echoing around the room and suddenly a load of noise of people going in and out of the room. The feeling of someone taking her right hand and kissing it distracted her from any noise but soon they let go and she heard someone approach. The feeling that her eyelids were extremely heavy annoyed her so she focused all her might on opening them. "Amy? Can you hear me?" an unfamiliar voice asked but she couldn't respond. "Perhaps you should try, she may respond to you" she heard more clearly than any other words said and the feeling of someone holding her hand once more became clearer to her mind. Her hair was brushed away from her forehead softly soothing her mind

"Amy, sweetie I need to know if you can hear me ... squeeze my hand as hard as you can if you can hear me" Roger's voice filled her ears and she felt pure joy so focused all her attention on doing so. She soon heard people responding to that and she felt Roger kiss the back of her hand once more. "Ok we need you to open your eyes honey if you can" it took a few moments but she managed to flutter open her eyes. Her vision was blurred but she recognised the person looking over her instantly. She brought her hand up to his cheek and felt his stubble as he smiled, tears in his eyes

"I know you ... daddy?" she said so softly it was barely audible and he kissed her hand once more

"We've been waiting for you to wake up" he explained. She felt her eyelids become heavy so she closed her eyes once more for a moment. She turned her head away and opening her eyes she came face to face with her doctor

"Hey Amy, I'm Doctor Fields. Are you in any pain at all?" he asked and she nodded

"My ... back" she explained and began to cough. The doctor brought a glass of water and straw to her lips. She felt the cold liquid flow down her throat relieving the pains down her throat

"You're throat may hurt for a while also as we had to put a tube down your throat but we'll give you some painkillers to help with that and your back. In a day or so your throat should be ok. You back may take a week or so as you got an infection which made you very ill. You've been unconscious for six days because of it" he explained and she looked up at him

"Stage one?" she asked and he nodded

"It's going to be ok alright kiddo?" she heard Tom's voice and looked to the foot of the bed. She hadn't realised that the others were there and she squeezed Roger's hand as tears fell from her eyes

"You need to rest Amy, you won't be able to sit up or move onto your side for a few more days. You've done so well and I know you need time with your family. So get some rest and I'll talk to you when you're a little stronger" the doctor explained and she turned to look at Roger. His gaze and look on his face told her everything she needed to know

"Thank you for everything" Mark said Roger nodded

"Thank you" he said and the doctor smiled

"You're welcome" as the doctor left the others gathered around Amy. She looked at the familiar faces and noticed Nicholas, Jane and Anthony were not there

"Where are the others?" she asked her voice becoming stronger

"They had work to do at university. They had a load of assignments to hand in before Thanksgiving" Maureen explained

"O no my assignments" Amy moaned closing her eyes

"Don't worry; you can't get thrown out of university for not handing in your assignments giving what happened. You've got an extension until after the Thanksgiving break" Tom explained

"Guys let's go get a drink, we need to call the others too" Joanne suggested and they understood Roger needed to be alone with Amy for a while. Roger smiled softly with thanks and watched them leave the room. After they were gone he sat up on the edge of the bed so he would be clearer in her view and she opened her eyes once more

"You were in my dreams, I was all alone but you were there. I'm sorry if I scared you" she explained and he shook his head

"Don't be, I'm the one who's sorry. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. I knew I shouldn't have gone" he responded softly stroking her hair

"It would have happened if you went or not ... I thought I was never going to see you again" she explained and he rested his forehead against hers

"I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere ok?" he asked and she nodded. He pulled back away from her and kissed her forehead. "Look I was thinking if it is too much for you maybe you should put your studying on hold"

"No, I can't do that. I feel more determined than ever now to do it. Please don't make me give it up"

"I'm not telling you to, I'm just saying it's an option if you need to put it on hold for a while you're health is the most important thing. I wouldn't dare try to make you give it up it's like you asking me to give up writing. I love you too much to ask you to do that" he defended himself

"I love you so much too. What's going to happen to me?" Amy asked as silent tears fell from her eyes. Roger softly brushed them away

"You have to stay here for about a week and then you'll be going to rehab to get your strength back as the infection has weakened your strength. You'll stay there for however long you need"

"So I have to be in hospital over Thanksgiving?" Roger slowly nodded. "I'm not ready to go, I don't want to leave you" she blurted out unable to control herself as more tears came to her eyes

"Hey now don't talk like that. We'll get through it the same as e do with everything else. Look there is something I have to tell you" Amy looked confused and Roger held her hands. "The press have found out about you and Anthony. They also have been saying the reason you collapsed and your weight loss was due to an eating disorder"

"Why do they do that? Make up lies to sell papers?"

"It's their business, it is their purpose. I wanted you to know in case anyone tries to ask you about it and I've been getting phone calls left right and centre from my publicist about interviews with you from various TV shows and magazines"

"Is Anthony ok?" she asked concerned

"To be honest I haven't seen him at all. Security has been tight because of the press and all. Jane told him the truth about your health but I don't know where he is. I'm sorry honey I wish I could say otherwise" he tried to explain as best as he could and saw the sorrow in her eyes and silence fell over them for a moment

"I don't know what to do" she said softly and began to sob. Roger held her as best he could without hurting her and tried to be as much of a support as possible. Eventually she cried herself to sleep in Roger's arms

"Ok Amy all done" a nurse said laying her back onto the bed. The dressings on Amy's back had been changed and she couldn't help sighing with relief when it was over. Her back was comfortable enough for her now to have the bed in a more upright position so she could sit and talk to her friends and family. As the nurse brought the bed sheets back over her weak body Amy closed her eyes trying not to focus on the pain. A silent tear fell from her left eye which the nurse noticed. "Are you ok honey?" she asked and Amy opened her eyes

"Yeah I just realised I have something I need to do. Can you pass me the phone please?" the nurse rolled the portable hospital phone to Amy's side and handed it over

"I'll go find your father and tell him you're all done" the nurse explained and Amy nodded. She stared at the phone for a moment debating if she should dial the number she had repeating in her 

mind but she knew if she didn't do it then she never would. She felt her hands shaking as she began to dial

"Hello?" Anthony's voice came softly to her ears

"Hey" silence fell over the two of them. All Amy wanted was for him to sound excited to hear her voice and make her smile but the silence broke her heart in two

"Are you ok?" he asked with no emotion in his voice

"I'm alive if that is what you mean"

"Look I tried to get there but I couldn't get to you" he explained

"What about after the press found out about us? Did you try then" the only response she got was silence. "Well that silence says it all"

"It is not like I just sat back the whole time you know" he replied annoyed

"You know getting angry with me right now isn't the best thing to do if you want us to salvage some kind of a relationship"

"Who says there is anything to salvage?" he asked in an angry tone making her feel like her heart already split in two had been put into a blender

"What do you want from me?" she asked bluntly

"I don't even know anymore" she wiped away tears and plucked up the courage to ask the question she had been dreading to

"Has there been someone else?" silence fell over the line once more for a moment

"Don't ask me that"

"Why? Because you can't be a man and admit it? You make me sick do you know that?"

"It isn't like you gave me anything like a relationship back to sustain it!" he responded and she felt her blood begin to boil with rage

"No! I gave you everything! You are just pissed because I wouldn't sleep with you. You don't get how powerful the disease is that I have and I didn't want to contemplate passing it onto you. Can't you see I was trying to protect you?"

"That and you wanted to protect yourself. That is what you do isn't it? You hide behind your disease to prevent you from being human! That and you don't want your perfect American sweetheart image to be tarnished so you do whatever you can to make the public love you. No wonder you love the stage so much because you feel so lost when you don't act to the public. You don't understand what living is"

"At least I understand what love is" she said sternly and hung up the phone. All she could do was stare blankly at the wall in front of her, her hand still resting on the phone unit

"Look who we found out in the hall, they were practically tearing down the door!" Roger's voice came to her ears and she turned her head to the door to see the gang enter with Jane, Rose and Nicholas. The tears instantly began to fall from her eyes as her friends hugged her

"We were going to bring you flowers but they aren't much of a treat; so double chocolate muffins it is!" Rose gushed holding up a paper bag making Amy smile

"Thanks guys ... I'm really sorry I scared you"

"We are just glad you're ok. We know what the doctors' said and we want you to know you are stuck with us ok?" Jane responded squeezing Amy's right hand and Amy felt relief as she didn't have to tell them

"How is the play going? Are you able to cope without me?" she asked and Nicholas smiled

"Somewhat, if you hadn't written such detailed stage direction on all our scripts then we would be totally lost" Nicholas explained

"Everyone really misses you" Jane added and Amy folded her arms

"Not everyone" she muttered

"What's wrong sweetie?" Maureen asked seeing the sorrow in Amy's eyes. Amy was silent for a moment and had to look away to be able to say it and a fresh batch of tears came to her eyes

"I'm so stupid to think that ... Anthony cheated on me ... so it's over"

"WHAT?!" everyone said in unison and Amy closed her eyes. She heard everyone ask her questions, Roger threatening to kill Anthony and Mark trying to calm him down. After a few moments Amy opened her eyes and looked at Nicholas who blankly stared back at her. Somehow a matter of understanding came across them which they did not communicate in words. Nicholas merely nodded and she knew he already knew

"It doesn't matter ok? It's his loss and I can't focus on it or I'll go insane" Amy explained looking around the room. "I just wonder what I can do about the press; they are going to have a field day when I go rehab"

"I can't believe they think you have an eating disorder" Rose said biting into one of the muffins

"Well the only thing you can do is set them straight about it" Jane answered

"What like an interview?" Joanne asked

"Think about it, if the general public are buying papers and magazines in their millions to find out what is going on according to the papers how many million are going to tune into a TV interview starring you? I think that will set them straight but it will mean you'll have to tell the whole truth about your health" Jane explained

"I don't know if I'm ready for that"

"Well you have the whole time you're in rehab if you want to do it. I think it's a good idea" Nicholas added

"You are such a liar!" Mark laughed at Roger

"I am not! I swear I was ... indicating to the man where to go when he wound me up in the Cafe and the glass I was holding just ... slipped out of my hand!" he defended himself making everyone in the room laugh

"And on that note we had better be going. It's 2am and I have to be up in four hours for a business meeting" Joanne said standing up and the others agreed

"Do you have to?" Amy asked

"Yeah because people need to sleep to survive sweetie" Jane responded before giving her a hug

"I'll stay here with you" Roger said with a yawn

"No, go I'll be fine. You need rest and you won't get it sat on a chair" Amy protested

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'll be resting anyway and if you're here I'll be too worried about you to be able to sleep! Go" Roger kissed her forehead

"I'll see you first thing tomorrow" he said softly and rubbed his nose against hers making her smile. He hadn't done that for a long time and it made her feel better whenever he did it. He gave her a small hug and kissed her forehead once more before leaving the room. Everyone gave her a hug and filed out of the room until only Nicholas was left stood in the corner of the room by the door

"How long have you known?" Amy asked folding her arms

"Since the day you fell ill. To be fair I haven't had a chance alone to tell you so please don't be angry with me" he asked walking towards her slowly

"I'm not angry with you Nicholas ... I'm angry with me! I was so stupid to think I could be happy with him, Jane and Rose tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen. They were right I am a stupid girl for believing for once that I'd find someone who didn't care about my illness to be with me! The only reason he cheated was because I wouldn't sleep with him but it was because I didn't want to hurt him by passing on this terrible disease. I guess I'm destined never to be happy" Nicholas sat on the edge of her bed shaking his head

"Don't say that. You deserve so much more then that reptile. You'll find someone and when you do he'll be the luckiest guy in the world and I'm not just saying that" Amy smiled softly hearing such a compliment

"I wish I could have what you and Rose have but I guess it wasn't meant to be for me and Anthony. Thanks for being such a good friend" she responded softly taking his hands in hers

"No problem, now get some sleep or else your dad won't be happy tomorrow"

"Only if you promise not to get angry with Anthony or the others for that matter, he isn't worth it"

"Done" he gave her a soft hug as she smiled

"Go before Jane and Rose wonder where you've gone" Amy said pushing him away softly

"Ok Miss Bossy!" he responded making her laugh as he headed for the door. As soon as he was gone her smile and laughter disappeared being replaced by tears


	12. Chapter 12

**(A/N: Right I want to apologise now. This TV interview I have set for Amy with an audience is on the Today Show. I live in England and so have no clue what the format for The Today Show is so I had to sort of make it up! I'm gathering it is the UK equivilant of GMTV if you know British Television. So if I'm totally off from the real format just remember it is just a story!! lol So I hope you enjoy I really took my time writing this which is why I've been away for a while. I wanted to get this chapter as powerful as possible. TKAMB aka Becky)**

**Chapter 12:**

**DECEMBER 1****ST**** 2001**

Amy stood backstage in a TV studio for The Today Show with butterflies flowing through her stomach. As she stood waiting for her cue she fiddled with her nail and her outfit. She was a lot stronger now having been to rehab to learn to walk again after the damage caused to her back. The press had continued to believe that being in rehab meant she had an eating disorder. "You ok honey?" Roger asked coming to her side. All of the gang and her friends from school were in the audience out front. Roger was meant to be with them but he had snuck back stage to see her

"Yeah I ... I'm just a little nervous. I've done interviews but nothing like this you know?" Roger took her hands in his forcing her to face him

"Just be honest, that is all you can be. You're here to set the record straight and if you need to let something out then let it out! I have to get back to my seat but we are all right out there so you're not alone" Amy nodded and Roger pulled her into a warm embrace. "I love you kiddo"

"Love you to daddy" Roger headed back to his seat leaving a nervous Amy behind. Hearing the crowd cheer she took a deep breath

"Hi everyone I'm Sarah Cole and welcome to this special edition of The Today Show. Now today is December 1st 2001, a seemingly normal day but it is also one where the world raises money for the millions of people suffering from HIV and AIDS to try and find a cure and help those who are in need. This disease was one which twenty years ago you couldn't escape from reading about everyday in the papers or see every day on TV, nowadays however it would seem it has fallen out of the public's consciousness. Ten years ago a custody battle over a little girl with HIV brought the disease back to the people of New York. The little girl was Amy Rose Davis who for the past ten years has grown up in the public eye along with her father songwriter Roger Davis. Two months ago their situation changed. Here for an exclusive interview which everyone has been anticipating please welcome Miss. Amy – Rose Davis" Everyone stood up and applauded as she gingerly walked out onto the stage. Amy waved and gave Sarah a hug before they sat on two chairs provided. The crowd stopped applauding and sat back down

"Can I just say right away I am shaking like mad right now! I talk at like five hundred miles an hour when I get nervous so I'm apologising for that right away" Amy giggled making the audience laugh softly also. It somehow calmed her nerves to do so

"Thank you for joining us today Amy"

"It's my pleasure really"

"Now I just want to say to start off saying a big congratulation for your academic achievements. In case you're not aware viewers Amy achieved her high school diploma at the age of six and now at fifteen she is studying a degree in English Literature and Drama" Amy blushed as the audience applauded once more

"Thank you, it was really my father that got me to this point. He taught me everything I know about everything really! Due to the disease we have he always made me live each day as if it were my last 

and I think that drive has been what has made me through a lot of things in my life and got me to where I am today"

"As you just said you share a disease which up until two years ago was HIV in both circumstances?" Sarah asked

"Yes, my father contracted it from an old partner who is no longer with us while I was born with it having contracted it from my mother who also is no longer with us. Two years ago my father's health took a turn and we found out he has AIDS. It was hard to deal with at first but now it is just one of those aspects of life you learn to live with" she explained and she felt tears fill her eyes

"So what happened to you a couple of months ago as it is very relevant to the subject in this special"

"Two months ago I was alone at home and my neck was hurting so I rubbed it and when I looked at my hand it was covered in blood ... um –" Amy lowered her head as Sarah rested her hands on Amy's

"Do you need a minute?" Sarah asked

"No I'm ok" Amy said lifting her head up and a tear fell from her eyes. "Um ... it turned out there was a bunch of legions on my back and neck which are clear indications of AIDS. The legions which had split had become infected and the infection nearly killed me ... My father was stuck in Chicago and I had 24 hours to live. One of my worst habits is that I'm so stubborn but at least on that occasion it is what saved me ... I wanted to see my father so much it kept me going and I somehow managed to survive it all but I have now been officially diagnosed with AIDS" Amy explained and Sarah let go of Amy's hands to pass her a box of tissues

"So these rumours created in the papers about you having an eating disorder were totally wrong?" Sarah clarified

"Oh yeah, if anyone knows me they'll tell you all I eat on campus are the pizza and chips compo which are gorgeous! Keep me away from any ice cream parlour or I may never come out" Amy giggled as she dried her cheeks

"Can I ask; what was the rehabilitation for?" Sarah asked confused

"Due to the infection I was so weakened I couldn't sit up unaided, or dress myself, I couldn't even walk. So when the infection had been tackled by the amazing staff at the New York General Hospital I needed time to learn to do those things again. So since Halloween I've been doing that and today will actually be my return home so I'm really happy and excited to see my bedroom again! I really miss also hearing the answer phone machine because we always screen our calls! It's the little things that I miss so much and I can't wait to experience them again"

"How did you feel when you were told that you had AIDS?" Sarah asked

"When you are told things that change your life in such a big way you go through these spells of change in your head and in your heart also ... it's really hard to explain because you get hit by ten tonnes of emotion. For some reason I felt only one clear emotion and that was pure relief ... The reason for such is that I have lived my entire life on the borderline. The best way for me to describe it is that I want you to imagine a barrel in the middle of the shark infested ocean. On top of the barrel is a thick plank of wood and top of that is me. I could go either way and I have spent my whole life trying to balance myself and wait for the day in which I will topple over. I've waited fifteen years to know where I stand ... I'm standing in a bad spot but at least I know I'm here now" she explained through tears

"Ok I want to have a chat to your dad for a bit so everyone please welcome Roger Davis" the audience applauded and Roger walked down from his audience chair to the stage. He gave Sarah a hug before giving Amy a fierce embrace. The two Davis's sat side by side with Roger's right arm around Amy's shoulders. "Thank you so much for being here Roger. How did it feel when you found out about Amy's health become worse?"

"It's your worst possible nightmare becoming reality and duplicated a hundred times over. It gets you re-assessing your life and as a parent it makes you feel completely useless and full of emotion beyond belief. As a person you feel so much love and loyalty at the exact same time that all you can think about is being there for her and being as good a person as possible. She has achieved so much that I'm so proud of her and I hope we are able to achieve more things together for however long we have" Roger explained as best he could. Amy had now recovered from crying and sat in silence

"So in relation to the amount of time you have and the disease can you give us any statistics about it?" Sarah asked

"Yeah um on average a person can survive around five years with AIDS. So to put that in the aspect of our situation with myself living with it for two years it may be possible I might not see Amy's 18th birthday ... She may not see her 21st which really terrifies me as I want her to be able to do anything she can ... I can't believe I'm going to admit this on TV but in a couple of weeks I turn 40 and if I reach it I would have made a milestone for myself in general with what I've had to go through in my personal life. But of course there are suffers who beat the average. Our friend Tom Collins has reached his tenth year of having this disease and is still with us it's a miracle that we treasure every day. Our friends are our family and no disease or flaws in our family are going to change how we feel about each other. It is really strange living with a disease because you come to accept so many things like death and think about them constantly but then you think why on earth am I think this? And it really changes the prospective of your life once more"

"Now with the change of your condition how has that affected things such as your medication, your energy and such Amy?"

"Well my medication has changed drastically. The amount of pills I take has tripled. I have pills to beat the disease, ones to increase my immune system and ones to keep my energy up. I've always had problems with medication; my stomach hates all of them so I have pills to keep my stomach settled, ones to keep me awake during the day, ones to send me to sleep at night also. I'm on a special diet to make sure I get the right nutrients to keep me going but I've found my hair has started to fall out as the roots have been weakened from everything I'm going through so I have more pills to keep my hair! I must have around 20 pills a day to make me reach some kind of 'normality' but I quite like being unique in a sense" Amy smiled making everyone in the room smile also

"Do you find it harder dealing with issues with the press constantly hounding you?"

"Yeah very much so. It is very tough to just grow up around them but I have an opportunity doing so. I know millions of people will be watching this now because they wanted to hear me talk about and reveal my eating disorder which doesn't exist. If I can give people an idea what this disease is like and raise some money to help those who need it then this interview would have fore filled its purpose. Any money I or my father gets from photo shoots or interviews like this one we give away to charities we are associated with because we don't need that money. My father's work has provided well earned money which can keep us and all our friends and their families afloat for the rest of our lives. I don't need the thousands of dollars we get thrown at us to grace the covers of magazines while someone else does. One dollar can save a child with this disease in Africa by giving them medication. Thirty dollars can feed that child three times a day for a month. I won't stand by and keep all that money when I don't want or need it because all those starving children would haunt me and so we dedicate our lives to helping those who share our disease that can't ask for help but desperately need it. That is why I hope everyone who watches this today will give what they can to World's Aids Day charities to save some of those children" the audience and Roger applauded her making Amy blush

"So everything as I understand is going really well for you at school. As I understand it you have written, produced, choreographed and casted a musical version of your father's life. On top of that you are doing really well in your subjects and you're top of your class in all. I wish I was that smart at fifteen!" Amy giggled

"Thank you things at school are great and I know I couldn't do it without my friends all of who are here today. They really are great because they put up with me. When I'm feeling low they pick me right up again, they bring me things for my school work and they support me through everything. It is a bit odd when I have to direct them on aspects of the play we are in but they somehow put up with me. I think perhaps sometimes it's so they can get some great lines or the better costumes!" everyone in the room laughed

"That must be a great comfort to you Roger, her having a group of friends who are there for her" Sarah asked

"Oh defiantly, when she had her turn a couple of months ago she was with her friend Nicholas at the time. I hate to think what would have happened if she was alone but thankfully I don't have to worry about her being alone in the future when she is at school"

"Or your boyfriend I presume?" Sarah asked and Amy felt Roger squeeze her hand

"Actually I don't have a boyfriend, no my heart belongs to my daddy!" she explained cocking her head in Roger's direction

"I thought you did have a boyfriend called Anthony?" Sarah prompted

"The word 'did' is very prominent. There wasn't much of a relationship to make it a romantic relationship. We've parted ways now and that's that" she explained trying not to reveal too much

"I'm sorry to hear that. Now going back to the musical your friends and yourself are here to perform a number from it. Roger what do you and your friends make of becoming subjects of a musical?"

"Strange and scary but we are all really excited. This will actually be the first time I've heard anything from it as Amy here won't let me hear any of it until opening night in May. I've heard a few of other songs she has written in the past and thought they were great so I have total faith in her project"

"So what is this song called? What is it about?"

"Well this is the song that opens the second act and is called 'Seasons of love' and it asks the question how do you measure a year in the life of friends? The answer I believe is love and so this song is about answering the questions. It has two great solos by Jane Simmons who plays Joanne Jefferson and Carlton Smith who plays Tom Collins. I'm not in the play at all but I'm going to sing along as part of the company as well today so this will be a first for us all" Amy explained

"Ok then everyone welcome to the stage possible future Broadway stars in the making Jane Simmons, Annabelle Johnson, Rose Parker, Tim Richards, Nicholas Dolton, Carlton Smith, Sampson Regent, and Marco Fuller otherwise known as the principal cast from NYU production of RENT" Sarah announced and the group came to the stage. Amy stood up and stood in front of one of the nine microphone stands that were lined up on the stage, each of the group standing behind one of the stands. Amy smiled to all of them who all smiled back reassuring her that she had done the right thing by doing the interview. The music began and they all faced forward. Amy saw Mark, Maureen, Joanne and Tom in the audience all with tears in their eyes having watched the interview and smiling broadly at her. She listened to the music and all of the group took a breath and so began to sing

_**COMPANY**__  
525,600 minutes, _

_525,000 moments so dear  
525,600 minutes _

_How do you measure, measure a year? __  
In daylights, in sunsets, _

_In midnights, in cups of coffee  
In inches, in miles, _

_In laughter, in strife  
In 525,600 minutes _

_How do you measure a year in the life?__  
How about love? _

_How about love? _

_How about love? _

_Measure in love  
Seasons of love_

(The group looked towards Jane and hummed along with the melody)

_**JANE**__  
525,600 minutes! _

_525,000 journeys to plan  
525,600 minutes _

_How can you measure the life of a woman or man?  
_

(The group looked towards Carlton and hummed along with the melody)

_**CARLTON**__  
In truths that she learned, _

_Or in times that he cried  
In bridges he burned,_

_Or the way that she died_

(The group faced front and began to clap)

_**COMPANY**__  
it's time now to sing out,  
tho' the story never ends _

_Let's celebrate _

_Remember a year in the life of friends.  
Remember the love! _

(The audience began to stand and clap along with the song making Amy smile broadly)

_**JANE**_

_Oh, you've got to; you've got to remember the love_

_**COMPANY**__  
Remember the love! _

_**JANE**_

_You know that love is a gift from up above_

_**COMPANY**_

_Remember the love!_

_**JANE**_

_Share love, give love, spread love_

(The group stopped clapping making the audience stop but they remained standing)

_**COMPANY**_

_Measure in love_

_**JANE**_

_Measure, measure your life in love_

(Hitting the high note on the word 'love' the audience began to cheer)

_**COMPANY**__  
Seasons of love!_

_**JANE**_

_Measure your life, Measure your life in love_

_**COMPANY**_

_Seasons of love_

Everyone was cheering and applauding as the group bowed. They stood in their line, arms linked behind their backs and smiling broadly. They were joined by Roger and Sarah. As Amy was at one end of the line he was able to put his arm around her and kiss her forehead

"That was amazing well done Amy. We want to thank Amy, Roger and the principal cast of RENT as well as thank you all for tuning in. As Amy said one dollar can save a life. If you have a dollar or more to spare and want to give it to World's Aids Day there is information on your screens on how to donate money. There are places throughout New York and around the world where you can go and donate also such as various super markets and town centres. So thank you once more and please give applause for Amy, Roger and the principal cast" Sarah said but she had to nearly yell to be heard over the cheers. There was so much cheering that none heard the music of the show going to break

"We're clear!" a crew member said and the audience finally settled back down. The gang on stage headed back stage and instantly hugged each other

"I can't believe we just did that on national TV!" Jane said jumping up and down

"It was amazing guys you did so well" Roger commented before pulling Amy into a quick hug. Roger watched her be hugged by her friends and was glad she had them just as he had Joanne, Maureen Mark and Tom

"So I did the right thing?" Amy asked Nicholas

"More than right, the best thing to do" he reassured her and she pulled him into a hug

"I need to ask something of you later ... alone" she whispered in his ear and felt him nod against her shoulder. They were soon joined by Mark, Joanne, Maureen and Tom but Nicholas didn't notice just focused on the words Amy had just whispered in his ear

* * *

"Daddy relax we'll be like twenty minutes! I just need to get this stuff sorted for an assignment" Amy tried to reassure Roger as the van full of both groups of adults and students driven by Roger pulled up outside of the campus

"Do you have to now?" he asked

"Yes! I told Mr. Larson that I would talk to him at lunch which is now! I'll be a half hour tops. You go home me and Nicholas will join you guys later. Besides it'll give you time to sort out my surprise coming home party"

"What party?" Roger asked smiling softly

"The one you are going to have to throw since I suggested it! Look I need Nicholas's help since he was the one who was carrying my work back and forth between Mr. Larson and me so he has my back up documents. I won't be all alone I'll be fine" she assured him climbing out of the van followed by Nicholas

"Yeah lighten up Mr. D, besides I have more reason to be worried then you he is my boyfriend" Rose said making Nicholas smile

"Nice to know you trust my honey"

"You're welcome sweetie"

"You don't want me to fail now do you daddy?" Amy asked using her cheap manipulation trick of making her eyes big and stuck out her bottom lip

"Ok go, see you about an hour then back at the loft" Amy smiled broadly and shut the van door. The pair headed to main building as the van drove away

"Does your dad have any idea that Mr. Larson is in fact my teacher?"

"Well did he react to it?"

"So what are we doing exactly?" Nicholas asked

"You are very inquisitive today! Grab your camera and meet me in Mr. Larson's room where we had that photo shoot" Nicholas nodded and headed for the dorm rooms. On entering the room in question he saw that Amy had closed the blinds over the windows and the one on the door and taken off her jacket. She was sat on a stool watching him intensively. "Can you lock the door?" Nicholas did as he was told and set up the camera

"So what do you want exactly?" he asked taking off his jacket

"Today has got me thinking of the opportunities I have left and the short time I have. I need you to take a picture of me" she took off her top and threw it to one side making him raise his right eyebrow

"What are you doing?" she turned on the stool so that her back was to the camera and she took off her bra throwing it across the room also. He looked at the legions on her back and was reminded of that day, the one that haunted his dreams. She turned her head to face him and tears fell from her eyes

"I need this for me so I can remember this period of my life and smile. A picture that sums me up and will keep me fighting" she explained softly and he nodded. For the next twenty minutes he photographed her crying with her back to him displaying her disease in its most physical of forms. When they were done he stood outside the room waiting leant up against the wall opposite the door waiting for her while she got dressed. It wasn't long before Amy joined him in the corridor leaning up against the room and silence fell over them

"You are the only person I know who has too much shit thrown at them to deserve it. You don't deserve it at all" he said softly making her smile

"You are the only person I know who has ever said that to me. You truly are a good friend Nicholas, only a good friend would tell the truth to your face ... come on let's go home and please don't tell anyone about this. I just need this for me"

"You got it" and so they headed for the loft, the entire journey in silence


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**December 31****st**** 2001 23:57pm**

"Three minutes till midnight guys! Grab your champagne!" Jane announced to everyone who had gathered on the streets of New York. All of them were together, the gang of adults and the gang of kids, Mark capturing it all on camera

"Oh my God! 2002 already! God I'm old!" Rose moaned making the others laugh

"You're old at 19? Honey wait until you reach our age ok?" Roger said making Mark smile

"When did we get old Roger?" he asked

"You are still using the camera you made your first documentary with nearly 15 years ago and you're asking when you got old?" Maureen said to the camera posing in the legendary cat suit which still fitted her perfectly

"Hey I know good quality when I see it. After al it was the camera that I filmed your riot on" Mark explained

"Yeah when am I getting my money for that since it did make you a star?" Maureen asked folding her arms

"Pookie you know he'll leave it to you in his will" Joanne added putting her right arm around Maureen's shoulders

"Yeah sure I will" Mark added in a sarcastic tone

"Come on guys here we go! A new year" Rose said indicating to a TV in a store window. The gang gathered around and grabbed bottles of champagne ready

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone in the street yelled and the gang uncorked about a dozen bottles of champagne. Everyone gave each other hugs and kisses and everything seemed perfect

"Happy New Year kiddo" Roger said as he held Amy close

"You too daddy. Let's make this year really great ok?" she said as they parted

"You got it" they both smiled and he kissed her forehead before letting her go to hug her friends

"Alright resolutions time, Amy what will it be this year?" Mark asked pointing the camera at her

"I am going to ... be a good person" she said making Mark roll his eyes

"That is not a resolution!" Tom said

"It is to me!" Amy protested

"Well I am going to be the best Mimi ever in RENT!" Rose said holding up a bottle of champagne

"And of course RENT will be the best musical ever in the history of NYU!" Jane added

"But of course" Amy giggled

"Here's to RENT!" Roger said holding up a champagne bottle followed by the others

"TO RENT!" they all yelled and laughed. It was a moment that would live in Amy's heart forever. It seemed the happiness would never end

--

**JANUARY 5****TH**** 2002**

"She isn't picking up" Nicholas said hanging up his cell phone. The gang had gathered for rehearsal at the campus but Rose had not turned up

"I'll try" Amy said pulling out her cell phone

"She's probably trying to fix up her hair or something as always" Nicholas explained jumping up onto the stage edge to sit down. Amy listened to the ringing tone until finally the answer phone kicked in

"Hey this is Rose. I can't get to the phone for some reason but leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can" Amy smiled and looked at Nicholas

"Hey Rose its Amy. Rehearsal started half an hour ago but you're still not here. We are getting a little worried. Nicholas thinks you're stuck in the bathroom fixing your hair" Nicholas looked at Amy in shock and began to run around the room trying to catch her which made Amy laugh. "Ok he's chasing and I give you permission to beat him for the hair insult when you get here. You know me and Jane will come to your room so we can escape the tickle monster!! Haha!! Ok bye" As soon as she hung up Nicholas tackled her making Amy laugh so much she was close to tears

"You are going to have me in my girlfriends' bad books now!" he said laughing

"You were the one who said it. I'm just the messenger! She defended through laughter

"Ok break it up you two" Jane said helping Amy up. "We have to go find out leading lady" Amy linked her right arm through Jane's left arm and they left the building

--

The feeling that something wasn't right hit Amy as soon as she and Jane entered the residence block where Rose lived. Approaching the door the room 116A/B Amy noticed the door was open by an inch or so. Jane saw it and rolled her eyes. "What is it with Sasha and not closing the door?" Jane asked referring to Rose's roommate who was intoxicated most of the time thus she always forgot to close the front door. Entering the room they saw it was semi – tidy but there was no one around. Directly to their left was the kitchen, ahead of them was the living room and to the right was a corridor of doors which situated the bedrooms and study area. Amy didn't notice the semi – tidy living area all she could focus on was the soft sound of a ringing alarm clock coming from one of the bedrooms. Walking down the corridors the study door was open and she saw no one was in side. There were two doors, side by side, both of which were shut

"Jane go and check Sasha's room see if she's awake" Amy asked

"Ok, turn off that alarm will you? It's giving me a headache" Jane asked breezing past Amy. She watched Jane enter the room on the left and the sudden feeling of being scared of a closed door as a child hit her

"Rose? Are you in there?" she asked and gingerly opened the door. At first glance everything seemed as it usually did. That was when her eyes fell to the bed. Seeing Rose's arm sticking out from beneath the duvet Amy knew Rose was gone. The skin tone of her arm told Amy all she needed to know. Amy had seen a corpse many times as the gang had lost many friends over the years so she knew Rose was gone. There was no blood or anything that would appear to be off, Rose just looked like she was asleep but Amy knew the truth. Jane entered the doorway and smiled

"Sasha isn't home. Probably passed out in some guys' dorm room as usual. I swear she can sleep through anything!" Jane laughed. She went to take a step into the room but Amy blocked her way with her arm

"She isn't sleeping" Amy explained softly

"W ... What?" Jane asked in shock and confusion. Silence fell over the two and Jane began to cry. "No ... no!" Jane sank to the floor turning away from the room as she couldn't look at Rose

"Jane, go into the hallway and call for help, I'll stay here" Amy said calmly lowering herself to Jane's eye level

"No I can't" Jane protested as she sobbed. Amy cupped Jane's face forcing their eyes to lock

"Look at me Jane ... You can do this. Call for help and wait for them in the living room. I'll stay with Rose and keep her company ... ok?" Amy said as calmly as possible. Jane managed to nod and headed to the emergency phone down the hall Amy remained sat in the doorway and looked at Rose in the bed. Somehow she managed to block the sound of the beeping alarm clock as tears flowed down her cheeks. It all reminded her so much of when her mother died that the distant memory flooded her mind

"_Mummy, can we go to the zoo today?" four year old Amy asked as she entered her mother's room. Silence was the only thing she heard so she jumped up on the bed and climbed under the covers giggling. It had become a game they played which they called 'bedtime peak a boo' in which you play the simple game of peak a boo but under the duvet. While hiding your opponent had the opportunity to tickle you. The game really didn't have a point but it kept the two entertained and made them laugh. "Ok it's your turn to start mummy" Amy said giggling and hid under the duvet with her eyes shut. Nothing happened so she brought her head back up and opened her eyes. "Mummy?" she asked confused and scared as she pealed the duvet back off her mother. Her mother lay on her side facing Amy, her eyes partly open and arms reaching out in Amy's direction. Amy backed away instantly and began to cry. She touched her mother's hand and felt she was ice cold. "Mummy stop playing around I don't like it! Mummy wake up! MUMMY!" She screamed and ran from the room. She got to the phone and pressed the first speed dial number as she had been taught to do in case something bad happened. Hearing a woman at the other end of the line Amy broke down. "Please! Help me! My mummy won't get up and she's cold! Help me!" she begged_

Hearing the door to Rose's dorm room open Amy was brought back to reality along with the many footsteps of people coming towards her. "Where is she?" Amy heard Nicholas's voice so she quickly exited the bedroom and shut the door. As soon as Nicholas approached Amy he went for the door but Amy stopped him, pinning him against the wall whilst the rest of the RENT cast gathered around them in shock and tears streaming down their cheeks

"NO NICHOLAS! YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE! NOT UNTIL THE AUTHORITIES HAVE SEEN HER" Amy yelled as she tried to keep him pinned up against the wall

"No she still could be ok! How do you know she isn't just hurt? We have to get in there and help her!" He protested trying to wriggle out of her grasp

"Nicholas listen to me! SHE'S GONE!" Amy explained and he finally stopped wriggling out of her grasp. He broke down crying slinking down the wall. Amy followed suit and held him close as they both cried.

"This can't be real, this isn't supposed to happen" he said through tears

"I know, I know" Amy said softly and looked up to see the Dean and medics had arrived at last

--

All Amy could feel was totally numb as she paced the room she and the others had been placed in by the police at the hospital. It was a large holding room that was all white and only contained the chairs that the group were sat on. No one said a word, just cried and held each other contemplating the loss of their best friend. Amy rubbed the back of her neck as her beeper went off. "Shit" she muttered turning it off and continued to pace

"You need to take your medication" Jane said softly drying her cheeks

"I can't, it's in my bag which they have" she explained indicating the police on the other side of the door

"What's going to happen to Rose?" Nicholas asked looking up to Amy. She knelt down in front of him and brushed his hair back off his face forcing their gaze to lock

"She has to stay here and I'm sure her mum and dad are on their way" Amy explained as soft tears fell from her eyes. Nicholas leant his forehead against hers and let out a breath to calm him

"I don't think I can handle this" he explained in barely as whisper

"You will in time but we are all in the same boat and we are all here for you ok?" she explained and felt him nod softly. The door to the room finally opened and Amy stood up

"Amy, thank God" Roger said pulling her into a fierce embrace. She sobbed uncontrollably into his leather jacket as Mark, Joanne, Maureen, Tom and Tamsin hugged the others. "I'm so sorry kiddo" Roger said as they embraced

"Don't let me go please just don't let me go" Amy begged and felt Roger's grip around her torso tighten

"You're parents are on their way but for now all of you are staying with us guys at the loft" Mark explained to the group and everyone was in floods of tears

"What about Rose?" Nicholas asked. "Can we see her?"

"No, not right now. They need to run some tests on her and find out what happened. Besides you need her parents' consent to do so since you aren't married" Tamsin explained softly. Amy didn't notice, all she could do was cry into her father's shoulder

"Oh God, all I kept on thinking was about mum, I can remember her face again daddy but ... It was harsh and cold and ... I don't want to see it anymore I can't ... I'm so scared" Amy explained sobbing as they parted. Roger cupped Amy's face

"You're in shock right now, you need rest and to take your medication. Come on, we'll go home and you can have some sleep, things will seem clearer in the morning. I'm not going anywhere ok?" Amy nodded and was pulled back into a fierce embrace petrified of what would happen next. That night she, along with everyone else didn't sleep at all but she pretended to with Roger laying by her side with his right arm laid over her as he used to when she was afraid as a child


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14:**

"I'm sorry what?" Amy asked taking a piece of paper from Jane's grasp. Everyone was gathered at the loft where they had remained since the news of Rose's passing. It had been only a day but the press had found out and were hounding Roger's publicist. The kids' parents still had not turned up and Jane had been back to the campus to get a few things she needed but found something she didn't expect. Amy read the piece of paper in shock

"Rose's parents got the autopsy report back and wanted the residence on campus to be aware of what was going on" Jane explained. Amy handed the paper to Roger and walked across the room

"She died of sudden adult death syndrome?" Roger asked looking at the paper

"What does that mean exactly?" Maureen asked

"It means that they bloody couldn't work out what the hell happened to her, too bloody incompetent to figure it out" Nicholas said staring out of the window

"Nicholas don't say that please" Annabelle begged

"Would everyone please stop telling me what to do?" Nicholas yelled heading for the balcony and up to the roof. Carlton on instinct began to follow but Tom stopped him

"No, let him go. He needs time to think"

"It is a condition where for no physical understanding or reasoning the heart just stops" Jane explained as tears began to fall from her eyes

"This can't be possible" Amy said closing her eyes as she felt dizzy. Roger instantly came to her side knowing something was wrong. "It's ok, I just feel a little dizzy. I didn't really sleep last night"

"Come on sit down" he ushered her to one of the kitchen chairs while Joanne got her a glass of water

"So when is the funeral?" Tamsin asked and Jane lowered her head

"There isn't going to be one, at least not here in New York. Her parents are flying her home tomorrow to Oklahoma where she'll be buried. It's a family only service" Amy opened her eyes and looked up at Jane in shock

"They can't do that! She loved New York, her friends are here" Tim responded in shock

"You know her parents practically disowned her when she came to study here. They don't want her to be buried here so she is going home" Jane explained

"While we get pushed aside and made to feel we don't matter? We can't say goodbye because they won't admit we exist? Who do they think they are?" Amy asked

"They are grieving parents Amy. They have just lost a child, don't forget that" Roger explained and Amy leant against him

"I'm sorry daddy ... I'm just so confused. What is Nicholas going to say?" she asked and Roger wrapped his arms around her

"I'll talk to him" Roger said softly before kissing her head

"I have to get out of here, I feel like I'm suffocating" Amy said quickly standing up. She headed for the door as everyone watched her confused

"Amy come on, you have to stay here" Tom advised

"I can't stand people telling me what to do either so don't" she begged through tears. "I just need a walk alone. Clear my head because if I stay here I'll go mad. I'll be home later I just need some air" she explained as she walked out of the loft. When she got out of the building she ran as far and fast as she could until she ran out of energy. She slumped to the ground and looked around. She realised she was at the subway when the sudden feeling she could only be in one place overcame her. She pulled out her phone and dialled a familiar number. "Hey ... no I'm not ok ... Look things are weird at the minute but I really need someone to talk to. Can I meet you at your place? ... I'll be there in about twenty minutes" the feeling of relief over came her so she rushed to get the next train. Twenty minutes later she stood at a door she didn't think she would ever be stood in front of again. The door opened and she saw the concerned face of Anthony looking back at her. "I didn't know who else to go to" she explained and broke down crying once more. He instantly pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back

"It's ok" he whispered and led her into the dorm room closing the door behind them

--

"So what will you tell your dad about where you've been?" Anthony asked as the two walked through the dark streets to the Alphabet City. Amy had been with Anthony all day just letting everything out that was bottled up inside. He was the only one who listened and didn't judge her

"I guess the truth but then after what you did my dad would go mad" Amy explained digging her hands deep into her jeans pockets

"Well you could say that or you could say you went to see the University councillor. Since it happened they've opened their doors twenty four hours a day and even set up a hotline for students to call if they need to talk"

"It just shows you what it takes for them to get when we've been trying to say since September" she lowered her head

"Seriously though if you want to talk my door is open. I know I made a huge mistake but I want you to be able to still talk to me if you need me"

"Really?" she asked looking up at him

"Would I have spent today with you if I didn't mean it?" he pulled her into a warm hug which she allowed herself to be taken over by

"You know I wouldn't really do something like this, cling to my ex at a moment of total despair ... it feels like the candlelight in my soul has gone out you know?" she explained as they parted. He cupped her face as tears filled her eyes

"You still have passion; I can see it in your eyes. The candlelight may have dimmed but the passion that lit it is still there. Don't let the passion die. Say goodbye to Rose in the way that you need to, you and the others and the light with strengthen in time" Amy nodded and felt Anthony kiss her forehead softly. As Anthony pulled away something behind him caught Amy's gaze. Rose stood across the street in her line of sight with her arms folded. Amy's eyes widened in shock alarming Anthony. "Are you ok?" Amy wiped her eyes and looking back across the street Rose was gone

"Yeah um ... I just need some sleep. I'll see you around" she quickly unlocked the door and entered the building. 'It's just your imagination playing tricks on you' she thought over and over as she ran up the stairs to the loft. Opening the door panting heavily alarmed Roger who came instantly to her side

"You ok kiddo" Roger asked and pulled her into a warm embrace

"Yeah sorry I just had to clear up a few things" she looked around the room and realised only Roger and Mark were in the room. "Where is everyone?"

"Their parents turned up and took them to hotels they are staying at. Nicholas was glad to see his parents he wanted me to tell you he was sorry for getting angry he just couldn't stop himself" Mark explained

"Thanks for talking to Nicholas daddy I think you're the only one who really gets what he's going through"

"You look pale" Roger commented

"Yeah I'm just tired; I'm going to get some sleep"

--

"Amy ... Amy ... Girl wake up" Amy heard as she tossed and turned in her sleep which had lasted less than an hour even though she had been in her room for several. Her dreams were so unsettled and she kept on seeing dark images that disturbed her. Sweat was pouring down her forehead and she shook due to chills. "Amy!" Amy's eyes opened and she sat up. It was dark and she was alone in her room. She sat panting for a few minutes and lowered her head. "You ok?" she looked up and stood in front of her was Rose looking concerned

"You aren't real" Amy muttered and Rose smiled

"I am in your heart, come on let's get some fresh air" Rose walked to the door and passed through it. Amy; transfixed left the loft and followed Rose to the roof. When Amy reached the roof top Rose was sat on the edge facing her

"Why do I see you?" Amy asked

"It's a mixture of things really. It is believed that when you are dying you see those who have recently passed. It is pretty much the same thing when a friend or relative close to your heart dies. 

You see them everywhere. I guess you could say I'm a form of spirit guide but some could say I'm just in your imagination, a hallucination that your brain in a time of grief has composited, or it could be your sanity becoming unhinged. Either way I'm here right now" Rose explained

"Am I going insane then?" Amy asked walking towards her making Rose smile

"Aren't we all? I think it is your ability to think outside the box, an ability you possess that I always wanted. It's an attribute you share with your family of being a bohemian from what you have shown me through the play" Amy sat on the edge of the roof and the girls faced each other

"Why are you here?"

"Only you can answer that question but I'm sure there is another question that burdens your mind. You brought me here; you are the one that sees me. You give me the real question you are yearning to ask" Silence fell over the two for a moment

"What is going to happen to the play? I don't know what to do" Amy asked making Rose smile

"You know what you have to do. You have to take on the role of Mimi; you know that role inside out and that there is no one else on campus that can embody that role. I'm sure everyone would agree with me. I have to tell you, I was petrified being in the play because I didn't think I was going to be good enough for you. Now the play will be the best" Amy let out a small laugh and shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "What?" Rose asked

"You had no reason to be petrified. You are amazing, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I don't know, I guess I was too nervous to show my faults. Amy I think I'm here for another reason also or at least another question" Amy thought for a moment

"How do I say goodbye to you? You turn up on the street and in my room and ... I don't know how to cope with this" she asked as tears began to fall from her eyes

"Amy you are so strong you know you can do this deep down in your heart. It isn't a case of saying goodbye, it is a case of saying ... I love you. Three little words that last eternally in your heart and soul, goodbye is so final! If you have the courage to say it and show it in the expressive ways you can like you do through your play then you know it is true" Rose looked to the horizon and say the sun rising. "I had better go" she said standing up

"No please" Amy begged and Rose smiled. "Will I see you again?"

"I don't know; it isn't up to me is it? I know what mum and dad want for my burial and I think you know what you want for me. Please do this for me, give me the memorial I want and deserve amongst my friends"

"But what do you want?" Amy begged

"You are asking the wrong question" Amy stood up and looked to the sun

"What do you need?" Rose smiled

"I need you to look after Nicholas. I can't talk to him now but you can. I need to know he has someone to talk to because I can't bare the thought of him being alone like I was"

"I'm sorry for the way it happened" Rose shook her head

"Don't be it didn't hurt, I just went to bed, set my alarm clock and didn't wake up. Please don't remember me for how I died, remember me for how I lived"

"Amy?" Amy turned around and saw Roger. "What are you doing up here? It's freezing" he came to her side and wrapped his leather coat around her shoulders

"I was just –" Amy turned her head back to where Rose stood to see she was gone. "Remember how I lived" Amy muttered

"What?" Roger asked confused

"Daddy I think I need your help"

--

**THREE DAYS LATER**

Amy stood on the roof of the loft nervously waiting for everyone to arrive. The wind was picking up and she felt a chill run down her spine. "You're shivering" she heard and turned to see Nicholas carrying her leather jacket

"I'm so glad to see you, I thought you might not come" Amy explained as she pulled him into a hug. She felt him cling to her as if his life depended on it

"I thought about it but I knew I needed to be here" he explained as they parted. He handed her the jacket and Amy saw everyone gathering on the roof behind them. "We all needed to"

"So what are we doing exactly?" Jane asked

"I was thinking about what Rose would have wanted since she loved New York so much. So I think we should say that we loved her for who she was in the way we want to. We all had a special place and moment we shared with Rose so I think we should share them. We can't scatter her ashes, so how about rose petals after each one of us tell our favourite things about Rose? We let it all out, how we feel, what makes us laugh and what made us love her" Amy indicated to Roger who was carrying a bowl of them

"I like that idea" Nicholas said softly making Amy smile

"So who goes first?" Carlton asked

"I will" Amy said and cleared her throat. "I first met Rose on my first lecture at University. She was so kind and loving that I didn't know anyone could be like her. So innocent and open minded to a world she loved so much" Amy looked around and in the corner of her eye saw Rose smiling at her with tears in her eyes. Amy began to cry seeing her. "I never really told her how much of a great friend she was. She listened to me when I needed to moan about my illness, she was there to discuss her 

role in the play fully, and she was great to talk to about books. She had such passion for theatre you could see it in her eyes and it would make you smile whenever she would sing with her beautiful and rich voice. If you mentioned anything to do with Lord of the Rings then her eyes would light up and she would get so excited. We managed to go see the first film and had such a great time. It was a wonderful night but there was another night that was so special. It was the night I told Jane, Rose and Nicholas about my illness. I wrote her a song as she dreamed of being in a musical version of Lord of the Rings. I will always remember that look when I began to sing it with my dad. It was before the casting for the play and everything so many of you would not have heard it but I'm going to sing it now. Rose, where ever you are I'll never forget you"

"Thank you" Rose said softly and faded away, Amy composed herself and began to sing

_Sing me a story of heroes of the Shire,_

_Muddling through,_

_Brave and true,_

_Stubborn as bindweed and tough as old brier,_

_Never too showy or grand._

_Year after year_

_They persevere_

_Now and for always,_

_Harfoots who planted and_

_Stoor folk who ploughed,_

_Bred to endure,_

_Slow but sure._

_Fallohide blood in your veins_

_Makes you proud,_

_Sturdy and steady they stand._

_True to their aim_

_To stay the same_

_Now and for always._

_Sit by the firelight's glow,_

_Tell us an old tale we know,_

_Tell of adventures strange and rare –_

_Never to change_

_Ever to share_

_Stories we tell will cast_

_Their spell_

_Now and for always._

Roger came to her side and handed over the bowl of petals

_Sing me a story of Frodo_

_And the Ring._

_Fearless and bold._

_Tired and cold_

_Sword at his side, an Elf – blade_

_Called Sting_

_Crossing a mis'rable land._

_Wouldn't retreat_

_Just followed his feet._

_Now and for always._

Amy took handfuls of the rose petals and released them into the breeze watching them dance around the group in the direction that the wind would take them

_Sit by the firelight's glow,_

_Tell us and old tale we know,_

_Tell of adventures strange and rare –_

_Never to change_

_Ever to share_

_Stories we tell will cast a spell_

_Now and for always._

_Sing me a tale of the bravest of them all,_

_Comrade and guide_

_At my side._

_Stout – hearted Sam who wouldn't_

_Let me fall_

_Holding my life in his hand._

_True to the end,_

_No finer friend,_

_Now and for always._

_Sit by the firelight's glow,_

_Tell us an old tale we know,_

_Tell of adventures strange and rare –_

_Never to change_

_Ever to share_

_Stories we tell will cast a spell_

_Now and for always_

The group spent the rest of the day going around the city finding the places that they shared with Rose. They laughed, they cried they did everything they needed to make it a day Rose would have loved and everywhere they went Amy saw Rose. She would be sat at a table or across the road and in a blink of an eye she would be gone. Amy always looked out for her and felt comforted somehow that she was there


	15. Chapter 15

**(A/N: Hey everyone! I know I've been away for like forever but I've been really busy! I've got some news; two days ago I become an auntie for the first time!! So now my nephew has been born it is a lot less stressful in my life! So sorry for the delay and I hope you enjoy! TKAMB aka Becky) **

**Chapter 15:**

"I really don't want to recast because I know there is no one else who can play Mimi on the whole campus. What do you think about me taking the role?" Amy asked Jane and Nicholas gingerly. It had been a week since Roses funeral service and the subject of the play was still one of which no one wanted to confront. It was their first day back at University and had spent the day dodging the 'poor you' looks and glances from their fellow students

"I think it is a great idea, what about you Nicholas?" Jane asked turning to him. Amy saw the sorrow in his tired eyes; he had hardly slept since it happened and it killed all who knew him to see him in that state. He didn't respond instead he just stared at the floor. "I'm going to go to the store and get us some lunch, you need anything Amy?" Jane asked to which she shook her head. She watched Jane leave the dorm room before crouching down on the floor in front of Nicholas

"I don't want to take her place Nicholas, I know I can never do that but we all feel that the show has to go on. I know you feel it to deep down inside" she softly stroked his short hair which made him raise his head to look at her

"I want you to do it ... but I don't know if I can" he explained

"I think you can do it, we all do. I promise you this we will all be here for you as you are there for everyone else. Talk to me please" she begged softly

"I keep on seeing her in my dreams which keep me awake and then I see her everywhere I go. She keeps on saying 'keep going' but every time I see her or hear her voice I just ... I can't find my path anymore. It's like all my dreams are in front of me but no matter how far I reach I just can't get to it" he explained and he pulled her into a warm embrace

"I hope you do stay with the play Nicholas, I have faith in you. I promise I will not leave you. We have a rehearsal tomorrow morning. You don't have to tell me what your decision is, but if you don't turn up I'll know you don't want to do the show and I will totally understand. I don't want to pressure you into anything but I want you to know no matter what I won't abandon you. I think you need some sleep" Nicholas shaking his head caused them to part

"No I can't really I ... I can't even think straight at the minute" he protested. She took hold of his right hand and squeezed it forcing him to look up at her

"I'm tired too, I'll make a deal with you. I'll stay with you today if you will get some sleep"

"Alright" he gave in and they headed for his bedroom. She laid him on the bed and covered him with the duvet. As she pulled a chair over to his bedside he sat up. "Lay with me"

"What?" she asked confused

"You said you were tired to. I don't want you sleeping in a chair. There is plenty of room" she smiled softly and knew it was what he needed so gave in. She climbed under the covers and laid on her right side facing him. She softly stroked his hair which made him tired and soon found he was fast asleep. She couldn't help smiling in satisfaction on what she had achieved. She rested her left arm across his stomach and fell asleep, soon after he covered her left hand with his right

--

"Don't worry it will be fine" Anthony hushed Amy who he held close to him. She was softly crying terrified of what she would find when she went to the rehearsal. She had gone straight to Anthony when she woke up leaving Nicholas still fast asleep in his bed needing someone to talk to, someone who would understand

"How do you know that? What if no one turns up? What if the school board want me to recast? What if I take the role of Mimi and make a complete fool out of us all? I could make the play look like a complete joke" she explained pulling away from him. She began to pace the room with her hands over her mouth and nose

"You won't make it a complete joke. You are so strong and you still have your passion for the project. Look at me" he cupped her face forcing her to stop walking and lower her hands. "I believe in you, you are going to be great"

"Will you come with me?"

"Usually I would say yes but I think your friends would go nuts if they saw me there. I'm not exactly on their good list am I?" he explained

"You could be, if I explained that we are friends now then they will have no choice but to except you are in my life"

"Amy I will always be in your life but for now let's keep this between us. Your dad will hit the roof if he knew we were talking" silence fell over them and Amy felt him pulled her towards him. She closed her eyes and felt his soft lips brush against her. A moment later they parted and Amy took a step back forcing him to lower his arms from her face

"What was that exactly?" she asked confused

"I really don't know. What do you think that was?"

"I would call it a kiss but giving what our situation is I would say it was ... interesting" he smiled softly

"Interesting?" she clarified making him nod. "Interesting? All of a sudden I feel ok now, is that interesting to you?" she asked smiling

"I think so" she picked up her stuff and headed for the door. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned to him. "I just want to clarify this doesn't mean we are back together"

"The thought never crossed my mind" she nodded with a smile and headed out of the door. She had to stand with her back pressed up against the door for a moment thinking over what had just happened. She smiled softly and ran her right hand through her hair but her smile quickly faded when she saw the clump the size of her fist of hair in-between her fingers. Tears began to flow down her cheeks seeing in her hand the evidence that she was growing weaker and being stressed out due to the play was not good for her in any way. As her tears met her lips she could taste blood in her mouth. She wiped her nose against the back of her left hand realising it was bleeding, a sign that made her shudder with fear. She dried her cheeks and headed as quickly as she could off campus feeling like she wanted to hide

--

Amy stood alone in the loft staring at her cell phone. She watched it vibrate against the kitchen table as tears flowed down her cheeks. She knew it was Roger calling to check on her. She had promised to talk to him at lunch which had been and gone; now he was frantically calling every few minutes but she couldn't answer. She had pulled down the blinds to block out all light and kept the lights off. She allowed herself to be submerged by the darkness and the silence, it was a type of silence she had not come into contact for a long time. It was the one that brought back memories of scrubbing the cellar floor in Saint Josephs, it was a silence at one time would have drove her to insanity now it was driving her to do something that she needed. She walked across the room to one of the kitchen draws and pulled out a pair of scissors. The vibration of the phone against the table acted as music beat to her and she began to hum a tune without knowing it. As she walked across the room clutching the scissors hot tears flowed down her face. She stopped in front of a mirror and placed the scissors on a table in front of her next to a now half empty bottle of brandy. She felt dizzy as the brandy was taking effect and began to drink more from the bottle. She finally put the bottle down and headed for the bathroom with the scissors as the vibrations from her cell phone stopped

"Is she at campus?" Mark asked Roger as they drove through the streets of New York

"No I already tried and Jane said she and Nicholas hasn't seen her for hours, Maureen, Tom and Joanne haven't seen her either" he explained running his right hand through his hair. "I knew she wasn't ready to go back to school I should have made her stay home today. She has really been concerning me for days, I should have said something. Now I've got some good news to cheer her up and she disappears on me"

"Roger this is not your fault, let's get back to the loft and see if she is there ok?" Mark tried to calm him down. Reluctantly Roger gave in and nodded. When they got to the building he took the stairs two at a time to get to the top, Mark trying his best to keep up

"Amy? Amy are you in here?" Roger called as he entered the loft. Mark searched the bedrooms but found nothing

"She isn't here" he explained then noticed Roger's intense gaze on the closed bathroom door next to which stood an empty bottle of brandy. "Oh, No" he muttered as Roger went to open the door. It was unlocked but there was a heavy weight up against it that blocked them

"Mark help me" Roger begged and the two managed to get the door open. Slumped up against the door was a semi – conscious Amy her hair cut short stopping just below her chin. All over the floor were locks of her hair; the scissors were in the sink

"I'll call the paramedics" Mark said standing up

"No, the sooner she is sick the better for her, help me move her to the toilet" Mark did as he was told. Fortunately for the boys they didn't have to encourage Amy to be sick as she was instantly. Roger rubbed her back to comfort her as best as he could and he heard her beginning to sob as she was bent over

"Why did you do this?" Roger asked running his hands over her now shortened locks of hair. She looked up at him and saw the fear in her eyes

"I guess ... it's a way to turn back the clock. Turn back everything that happened ... my hair is falling out really badly now, I'm petrified that no one will do the play, I'm taking Roses place on top of that I have to be fifteen years old, pass my class and have AIDS. I hate this! Why can't the world stop spinning? Even for one second just stop!" she said softly leaning up against the toilet

"Why didn't you tell us you were feeling like this?" Mark asked grabbing a towel to give to her

"A girl needs to have her secrets, I guess this was one of mine" she explained. "Well at least one good thing comes out of this, I can go to the salon and have my hair fixed up until it falls out of course" she began to laugh hysterically but she soon stopped as she began to be sick once more

"She's wasted. We need to get her to bed" Mark commented to Roger

"Ok but we don't tell anyone about this, we'll tell Tom, Joanne and Maureen that she wanted some time alone agreed?" Mark nodded and the two carried Amy to bed. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Roger stayed by her side the whole time while she slept. It was nearly midnight when she shuddered awake. "Hey, it's ok. You've been asleep for ten hours" he explained patting the sweat from her face with a flannel

"What happened?" she muttered running her hands over her forehead

"You drank a whole bottle of brandy and cut off your hair"

"Thank God for that I thought I did something serious" she muttered making Roger angry

"Not serious? You think what you did was not serious? You scared the living crap out of me! You can't drown your sorrows with alcohol, I've been there, done that, and I'm paying the price for it. So don't you dare lie there and pretend that this is a joke" she lowered her hands and looked at him in shock

"I'm not pretending this is a joke. I'm just trying to deal with the crap that is my life. I'm not going to drown my sorrow with alcohol all my life I just needed to do something spontaneous. I need to make mistakes and learn from them to make my own path in life also, please just let me be me" she explained sitting up trying to make Roger understand

"So essentially you are telling me that I don't matter and that I have to let you destroy your life?" he asked standing up, turning away from her

"No! Don't talk to me like that you have no right to judge me. I am not going to destroy my life because-"

"Because me and your mother have already done that to you?" Roger cut her off facing her saying the words he had kept bottle up for ten years. For the first time since she was a child Amy saw the vulnerability in his eyes that terrified her

"No, because I am a human being who can make choices and has a right to take the path in life that I choose. I've never blamed you for ANYTHING and I never will. I love you too much to even contemplate blaming you for my mess ... but it is MY mess not yours" silence fell over the two and she groaned lowering her head

"Are you alright?" he asked sitting on the edge of the bed stoking her hair

"My head hurts and I feel dizzy" she muttered her head still low

"It's called a hangover"

"I've known you when you've had a hangover every night, how is it possible you did that when I feel my head is about to explode after one night?" she asked confused, swaying slightly

"You get used to it believe me. Everything kind of blurs into one big party" he explained as she looked up at him

"I'm sorry I such a mess and I made you scared" she explained leaning forward her face close to his

"I'm sorry I got you upset and tried to control you. Sometimes dads need to put their foot down"

"I need to make my own path daddy and it will ultimately be alone. I think of it as a curse and that I need to figure out what I really need in my life. But the one thing I have always known for certain is that I need you" Roger smiled softly and rubbed the tip of his nose against hers like he used to making her smile

"Now there is the smile that makes me happy. I need you too especially in two weeks time" she raised an eyebrow as he took her hands in his

"Tell me" she commanded

"I got nominated for an Oscar again. I guess third time's the charm! I want you to come with me"

"What did you get nominated for?"

"'Go the Distance'. I want you to perform it with me as well. You inspired me to write it so I want you to perform it with me. So now you have an excuse to have your hair totally done" she smiled softly and nodded **(A/N: Yes I know 'Go the Distance' was nominated in 1997 but it's my story so there! Hehe)**

"In that case I'd love to, but first I need to be sick" Roger smiled watching her bend over to the bucket by her bed

--

Walking into the rehearsal hall Amy was surprised to see everyone except Nicholas there waiting for he. It sent a chill down her spin knowing that everyone was still supporting the show and seeing everyone's smiling faces made her smile also. "Girl, what did you do to your hair?" Jane asked instantly approaching her. Amy had been to the hair salon and had a totally change. She wanted to be totally different for once. She had cut her hair short into a textured crop style. Although she had kept it blonde she did add highlights to make it more of a honey blonde colour. **(A/N: If you can't quite imagine it like Kiera Knightly when she cut off her hair in 2005 for 'The Jacket'. I loved her hair like that!) **

"Do you want the truth or a lie?" Amy asked as they hugged. They parted and Jane looked concerned

"Lie" Jane said softly as the others gathered around the pair

"Ok then, I wanted to go with something new, a new year means a new me. Besides with shorter hair it will be more comfortable for me to wear the wig for Mimi's hair" she explained

"Now the truth" Amy went wide eyed hearing a familiar voice behind her. She slowly turned and saw Nicholas stood right behind her looking more rested but still tired and pale. She bit her lip and looked to the floor

"My hair is falling out really badly at the minute. My doctor thinks it is stress and what happened recently so I've been put on new medication. I don't want to watch my hair fall out" she explained and finally looked up at him with a soft smile. "I'm happy to see you Nicholas" he pulled her into a soft hug

"I won't abandon you either" he whispered softly in her ear. They parted and he ran his hand over her hair. "I like it; I have to say you suit the short hair look"

"You really like it?" she asked everyone who began to shower her with compliments. "I hope everyone in the film industry do too"

"What do you mean?" Tim asked with a soft smile

"Well my dad got nominated for an Oscar again and in a couple of weeks me and my dad are going to be performing at the Oscars" everyone in the room went crazy, yelling and clapping with excitement. Amy laughed softly seeing them all react as such. "I gather you guys are excited?" she asked

"Excited this is fantastic! Is it that one your dad wrote for Disney?" Carlton asked

"Yep so my hair style is for that also. However I don't want to look like everyone else. I mean I do want a beautiful gown but I want one that is totally me! So I was wondering Annabelle, since you are a fashion designer in the making would you design my gown?" Annabelle covered her mouth with her hands and went wide eyed. "I know it is a little late notice but I was hoping you could if it was possible?" Annabelle lowered her hands and smiled

"Ok? Have my design be photographed and shown all over the world? When can I start?"


	16. Chapter 16

**(A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry I've been away again work has been mad and now I am sick with a cold. My story has been dark of late so I needed to have something to lift the mood so I wrote this. It is a little farfetched I suppose but it's my story so go with it!! Hehe!! The song is 'Go the Distance' which was performed by Michael Bolton for Disney's Hercules in 1997. It doesn't belong to me at all. As I said this is to lighten the mood so enjoy! TKAMB aka Becky) **

**Chapter 16:**

**February 2002 **

"Mark will you hurry up with the popcorn! I catch watch this without it" Maureen moaned. Everyone, including the entire RENT cast had gathered in the loft to watch the Oscars ceremony live from California

"Ok I'm coming!" Mark responded carrying two huge bowls of popcorn to the living area

"I can't believe we are going to see them live on TV this is so cool!" Jane gushed

"What is she wearing?" Joanne asked pointing to an actress on the red carpet

"I think she is wearing a carpet" Tim responded with a smile

"Not as elegant as the red carpet she's standing on" Nicholas laughed

"Oh my God! There she is!" Annabelle said pointing to the screen. Everyone began to talk excitingly but all hushed to hear what she was saying to a male reporter in a black tuxedo

"Hi I'm Ryan and we are back here on Entertainment Channel to give you the latest from the red carpet here at the Academy Awards. I managed to drag away a rather stunning looking Amy – Rose Davis whose dad is up for an award tonight but I think she deserves the best dressed award!" Amy began to giggle as he turned to her. "Hello Amy, you look amazing tonight"

"Oh thank you! You are so sweet, I have to tell you it took me forever to get ready tonight I was really nervous today!" she gushed

"You have no need to be nervous. Can we have a twirl?"

"Oh for you honey anything" she gave a slow turn, smiling broadly the whole time. She wore a floor length scarlet layered ball gown that went out at the hip giving movement to the layered fabric and making her low weight seem no existent. The bodice hugged her figure close cutting off just above her bust. All over the bodice and the rest of the dress was subtle crystal which when caught the light made her sparkle, the same way that Annabelle saw her to be, a spirit which sparkled in the right light. She wore a simple sliver chain necklace and a matching bracelet. She had a small red matching purse which he held in her right hand

"You did an amazing job Annabelle" Carlton said as Amy spun around on screen

"I really think you should get on the best dressed list this year since you look amazing and the new hair style is so great. So who are you wearing tonight?"

"Well it is someone who is an amazing designer and is one of my best friends. She's a designer that all designers all over the world need to look out for! Her name is Annabelle Johnson she's a student at NYU and is in my play. She's an amazing designer and I have to say bravo to her because I only gave her two weeks' notice to make this stunning outfit so Annabelle I know you're watching and I want to give you a big thank you!" Amy gushed to the camera and gave a small wave. Everyone in the loft cheered and gave Annabelle a pat on her back while she covered her mouth with her hands turning red in surprise

"I have to say you seem very well how is everything going with you at the minute?"

"Why do they have to do that? It's her personal life" Nicholas muttered but was quickly hushed by everyone in the room

"Well I'm doing ok at the minute. I decided a new year should have a new look which is why I made a radical change to my hair. I love it, I'm doing great at university, and I'm living life to the max with so much support from everyone in my life and loving every minute!" she smiled

"Great to hear, so you're here to support your dad who's up for an award tonight are you excited?"

"Yeah I am, this is the third nomination he's had and the third time I've been here. We don't really go on holiday because life is too hectic so coming here all dressed up for a night is my holiday! So it is exciting as well as fun and I have to say, just like on holiday I have no clue where my dad is!" she giggled making the interviewer laugh

"You lost him?" he asked

"Yeah he was right next to me like two hours ago and now I don't know where he is! Shall we give him a call and find out where he is?" she asked opening her purse

"Yeah why not!" Ryan responded smiling broadly

"She isn't?" Tom asked laughing

"Oh she is!" Mark responded. They watched as Amy dialled a number on her cell phone and brought it to her ear

"Hey! Where are you? ... I'm being interviewed right now... yes on TV! ... Ok I'll meet you there" she hung up shaking her head

"Well don't leave us in suspense, where is he?" Ryan asked

"He went inside thinking I'd be hanging out in the bar, thanks for that dad!" she giggled putting her phone away

"I'll let you go and find him, have a fab night Amy"

"Thank you!" Amy left the screen and everyone in the loft began to talk about the interview

--

"Look Roger is on stage!" Tamsin gushed pointing to a small Roger as the camera swept down the building from high above the stage. He had changed from his tuxedo into a more casual outfit including jeans, a sleeveless t-shirt and his leather jacket

"Is it me or does being on stage on TV make him seem quite cute?" Jane asked making everyone look at her in surprise. "Did I just say that out loud?"

"You did! You like Roger don't you?" Maureen giggled whilst everyone else began to tease her

"No! I ... I just ... stop it!" Jane protested turning bright red

"He's starting to play, where is Amy?" Nicholas said and everyone turned their focus to the TV. Roger had his electric guitar strapped to his body and his microphone was resting against his right cheek so he could sing and play easily. To his right was the rest of the academy band. The music filled the room and Roger began to sing

**ROGER:**

_I have often dreamed, of a far off place  
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me  
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face  
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be_

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance  
I will find my way, if I can be strong  
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while  
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Amy walked towards the stage from one of the walkways through the audience to Roger on stage making everyone cheer. She had changed into a black outfit. Her skinny trousers were made of tight leather; she wore a pair of leather boots, and a cropped black top with a pirate skull and crossed bones printed on the front. Slung across her body was an electric guitar. As she walked she began to sing into the microphone she had resting against her right cheek

**AMY:**  
_Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate  
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you_

**ROGER:  
**_And a thousand years, would be worth the wait  
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through_

**AMY:**  
_And I won't look back, I can go the distance  
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat  
_

_It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope  
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete_

She sang as she climbed up the steps and Roger held out his hand to help her stopping him from playing his guitar for a few seconds. As soon as she was on stage she began to play her guitar along with Roger

**ROGER:**  
_But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part_

**AMY:**  
_For a hero's strength is measured by his heart_

The big guitar solo of the song began which both began to play. As they did everyone began to cheer and applauded, a few of the audience members stood up cheering making both Roger and Amy smile broadly

**BOTH:  
**_Like a shooting star, I will go the distance  
I will search the world, I will face its' harms  
I don't care how far, I can go the distance  
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms_

As the tempo calmed down both stopped playing their guitars and stepped closer to the edge of the stage side by side

**Roger:**  
_I will search the world_

**AMY:**

_I will face its harms_

Roger held out his right hand which she took with her left and the turned to face each other

**Both:**  
_Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms_

They stood smiling broadly as the audience stood up and applauded them. Everyone in the loft was doing the same. Both Roger and Amy took off their guitars and bowed before heading off stage. The camera followed them to backstage and they were filmed embracing each other, Roger lifting her off the floor. About another hour passed before the best original song category came up. They watched Roger who was back in his tuxedo come up and screen smiling softly with Amy who was back in her scarlet gown at his side who was applauding him

"Come on Roger you can do it!" Maureen called to TV as the nominees were listed

"You are aware that he can't hear you right?" Mark asked all he got as a response was a glare from her

"And the Academy Award goes too ... Roger Davis for Go the Distance" the entire room filled with applause while a shocked looking Roger filled the screen on the stage. Everyone in the loft sent their popcorn flying into the air and began to scream and clap with joy as they watched Roger smile and hug Amy close

"Guys shh! I want to hear the speech!" Joanne said calming everyone down. They watched Roger hold up the award with a broad smile waiting for the applause to stop. Amy stood by his side crying softly. Finally after a moment the applauding stopped and he was able to speak into the microphone in front of him

"Ok I really don't know what to say except thank you to the academy, you wouldn't believe how much this means to me. I want to thank everyone involved in the song and the film that took on my idea and supported me all the way. I couldn't have achieved this without all of you. This being my third nomination I didn't think I would be in a chance of winning being up against such an amazing selections of songs so I want to dedicate this to the other nominees who deserve this for their great achievements and work throughout this year" the room applauded once more softly as he smiled. "I started up in New York as a guy who loved rock and could play a bit as well as write songs. I went through some really bad issues and there has always been a group of people who have stood by my side. So I dedicate this award to Mark, Tom, Joanne, Maureen and Tamsin my best friends in the entire world as well as four great loves in our lives Mimi, Sarah, Rose and Angel who cannot be with us tonight but live in our loving hearts for eternity. Finally I have to say in my working life this is the greatest achievement but in my personal life my greatest achievement has been by my side through everything and is by my side on this stage tonight. I want to dedicate this to my amazing daughter Amy who was petrified about performing tonight and did an amazing job. The lyrics reflected the emotions, the choices and paths we have had to face over the years and no matter what we have kept strong for each other so this is for her for keeping me going. I'm proud to have known her and proud to call her my own. Thank you once again and being on borrowed time as many people know I hope to be here again next year and if not I want you to know how proud I am to have been here in the presence of wonderful people and receive this award tonight. Thank you" everyone stood up and applauded as Roger hugged Amy close. When they parted he wiped away her tears and arm in arm they walked backstage

--

"CONGRATULATIONS!" everyone in the loft yelled and threw confetti into the air as Roger and Amy entered the loft

"Well done man" Mark said puling Roger into a hug

"So did I do ok? I wasn't sure if I looked good in the leather" Amy asked Jane as they hugged

"Honey are you kidding me? Every item of leather is going to be sold out in every store in America because of you!" Jane giggled

"And because of Annabelle's design you got on the best dressed list in practically every magazine and newspaper in the country" Tim added

"No way, you're kidding!" Amy added shocked and hugged Annabelle

"I can't believe you said my name! Thank you Amy"

"What are friends for? Besides thank you for making the dress!"

"Well what are friends for?" both girls giggled making the others smile

"Thanks for what you said Mr. Davis, Rose would have been proud to hear you say her name on stage" Nicholas thanked Roger quietly so the others wouldn't hear

"You don't have to thank me at all Nicholas I want to thank you for being a friend to my daughter"

"You don't have to thank me for that either Sir" Nicholas explained

"Guess we are even then" Roger smiled softly and shook Nicholas's hand

"Hey Roger, where's your tuxedo because I think Jane may want to borrow it?" Maureen asked making Jane go bright red with embarrassment, everyone burst out laughing and leaving Roger and Amy rather confused


	17. Chapter 17

**(A/N: Hey everyone! I know I've been away for a whole four months and I'm really sorry! I got promoted at work and so I'm working nearly ten hours a day six days a week! But I've had today to write this and I'm off tomorrow so I may be able to submit the next chapter tomorrow. I have been handwriting the end of this story a lot so I have sorted it out I just don't have time to write it!! Also to let you know I have planned a sequel of this sequel! It is to be called 'The Measure of Life Itself' and I'll submit the first chapter of it as soon as I can after this story ends. So there is something to look forward to!! Hope you enjoy. TKAMB aka Becky)**

**Chapter 17:**

**February 14****th**** 2002**

"Whoever invented Valentine's Day needed to have a red hot poker shoved up their-"

"Yes thank you Jane!" Amy butted into Jane's rant in a soft tone as they sat in a corner of the library. "I don't like being made to feel like crap because I'm single but there is no need to have a full rant. Besides we need to be there for Nicholas today"

"I know but still I wish I had someone to at least spend the evening with"

"Well you have me and Nicholas to spend the evening with. Did you invite him to my place tonight?" Amy asked flickering through the book in front of her

"Yeah told him it was to hang out at yours for once since our place is a mess and we no longer have any clean cutlery, cups or pans for that matter" Amy looked at her surprised, raising an eyebrow

"Have you thought about doing the dishes?"

"Have you thought about placing your hands near those dishes?" the girls began to giggle but soon stopped when a student walked by them. "Seriously though what about you? Anyone on the horizon you haven't told me about?" Amy looked at her book and shrugged

"I don't know, I think since Anthony cheated I have become even more self conscious than ever before. I mean at times I wonder why I should have to be with someone. Then at times I wonder why should I be alone you know? I guess I'm not meant to be happy"

"Don't talk rubbish Amy; you deserve more happiness than anyone in the world. It might just take a little time for you to see that the right guy is out there. Maybe you should take some time off as it were. Have a bit of time to just focus on you. I like to do that, but I end up replacing men with clothes, shoes and handbags!" Jane joked making Amy smile softly but Jane could still see the sorrow and fear in her eyes

"Well on that note I have to go, I have a meeting with the Dean about publicity shoots and promotion for the show. I'll see you at mine tonight" Amy explained as she packed up her stuff

"Yeah" Amy turned to leave. "Hey Amy?" she turned back to Jane. "Do you want to go shopping tomorrow? I'm free all day if you are. We could have lunch out; see a movie maybe as well?" Jane suggested making Amy smile broadly, now Jane could see the fear and sorrow had gone

"I'd like that" Amy responded and left the library. She took a deep breath and walked through the campus straight past the Dean's office. She hated herself for lying to Jane but there was somewhere else she needed to go. She crossed the courtyard and came to the housing buildings. She made her way up to the third level of the first block unsure exactly why she was there. She knew he would be waiting for her. She knew he would say things she longed to hear. She knew it was wrong but if the feeling was right doesn't it make the situation right? She stared blankly at the closed door choosing if she should knock on the door, a mini debate revolving around her mind. Finally after a deep breath she knocked on the door

"Hey" she spun around and was surprised to see Nicholas smiling softly. "Are you ok? You look white as a sheet!" he commented as the colour drained from her face

"Yeah I'm fine I ... I just didn't expect to see you here" she explained her heart racing. "What are you doing here?" she asked folding her arms praying that the door wouldn't open

"I live upstairs remember?"

"Yeah of course you do silly me!" she smiled and to her horror the door opened behind her. She saw Nicholas' smile fade and Amy looked to the ground

"Sorry I took so long I was just getting dressed" Anthony explained leaning against the doorframe with his shirt off

"I have to go" Nicholas explained

"Nicholas wait it isn't what you think!" Amy ran after him stopping him at the stairs. "Nicholas please look at me" she begged and he turned to face her

"Look I'm not in control of you Amy. You make your own decisions you are in control of your life I get that just as you get that I am in control of my life! I warned you he was a reptile and like I told you in the hospital you deserve so much more than him! So why are you here again? Why are you doing this?" he asked his voice loader than she had ever heard it before and she felt her blood boiling hearing such a tone of voice

"Never mind me, why are you doing this?! I thought you were my friend?"

"I am your friend but I can't stand aside when what you are doing is a total mistake! I've been there for you the last time he broke your heart please don't make me do it again it was hard enough the first time"

"Nicholas listen to me! It is not what you think it is ok? I'm not seeing Anthony I just ... I ... I don't even know why I knocked on his door. My life is totally screwed up and complicated and I just needed to talk to someone and for some reason I just can't let go of him yet" Amy admitted her voice calming down. She felt almost defeated admitting how she felt

"I'm here! Jane is here! You've got the most perfect family in existence why aren't we enough?" Nicholas demanded

"It isn't a case of what is enough it is the case of what I need. Right now I need to walk away from you and try to deal with the crap that is floating around in my head but I still need you there ok? I know it is crap to be in this position but I guess it means I'm crap so I'm sorry that you have to deal with my shit but that is all I can offer you right now" she explained trying to explain how she felt

"Did you ever consider how I felt having to deal with your shit?"

"Yes I do constantly and I constantly think about how you are coping with yours too and it kills me that you have to deal with it. You shouldn't have to do it but you are the one who choose to listen and to be a support so I am not fully to blame for this. You are too!"

"What a load of bullshit" he hissed running his right hand through his hair

Ok fine then everything is my entire fault! But please answer me this one question and I'll walk away. Are you jealous?" Nicholas's eyes widened

"Why would I be jealous of you and your life?" he asked before thinking of what those word would feel like to Amy. She looked away and took a step back before turning back to him

"Well it is nice to know where I stand with you. Besides I wasn't talking about me and I was talking about him" she explained softly and Nicholas lowered his head this time being his turn to be ashamed.

"I can't deal with this right now. Happy Valentine's Day, I hope you enjoy it with him" Nicholas hissed and walked away. She took a deep breath and lowered her head. Words couldn't describe how she felt. Suddenly the feeling of someone wrapping their arms behind her from behind startled her and she raised her head

"Are you ok honey?" Anthony asked and Amy nodded with tears in her eyes

"He'll never speak to me again for this"

"He's right you know; he is not in control of you. What you do is totally up to you. So are you coming into my room or not?" Silence fell over the two and she stared at the empty set of stairs

"Yeah, I am" she replied softly and he lead her inside

--

Amy sat in the Life Cafe pushing her food around on her plate as everyone else had a discussion around her. She was with Tom, Roger and Maureen whilst the other couples of the group had their own plans. She looked around at the couples who sat together looking lovingly into each other's eyes. "You not hungry Baby cakes?" Maureen asked making Amy look at her

"I just have something on my mind that's all" Amy muttered. "Where is Joanne?" she asked trying to divert from the situation

"We had another argument as she has to work late AGAIN. This brake up is her fault this time not mind and you are the evidence of that ok?" Maureen explained and Amy nodded. It was yet another break up and she knew the next day or so the two would be back together as they always did. "So what is on your mind?" Maureen asked and Amy smiled softly

"It doesn't matter; I hardly understand the situation so I don't know if you will to!" Amy explained unaware that she had taken the attention of her father and Tom

"Come on Amy, we are family. We are here to help so tell us" Tom asked making Amy shake her head

"If I tell you then I'll have to tell you something that you aren't going to like and you'll kill me for it" she explained alarming Roger

"Oh my God. You're not ...?" Roger asked wide eyed

"No! Don't be so daft! Is that what you think I'm up to?" Amy responded looking at him shocked. She playfully punched his left arm and leant back on her chair. "I didn't do anything bad but I know you will see it as bad like Nicholas did and –" Roger turned to properly face her

"Amy just tell us what happened" he said softly and she took a deep breath

"I know you guys have been there to support me just as I've been there to support you but I needed to talk to someone who would really listen and understand me. I know I did the wrong thing but I can't let go of him daddy I can't and I don't know why! I've been seeing Anthony"

"What?" Tom and Roger asked in unison while Maureen smiled with understanding

"Not like that! I've been talking to him. Just talking and that is it I swear" Amy tried to explain

"What are you doing even contemplating talking to him?" Roger asked

"Calm down Roger, it is her life not yours that she is playing with here. You aren't a girl so you don't know how it feels to get jolted in your first relationship and be the party that has to pick up the pieces. Girls never forget the first guy who broke their heart hell I've tried to get back with the first guy who broke my heart when I was her age so don't blame her. She is just trying to figure things out"

"You remember what is was like falling for some for the first time ... you just can't let them go no matter what" Amy explained softly looking down to her lap

"Ok so what happened that has got you so upset?" Tom asked

"Today I went to Anthony's room to talk and Nicholas was walking through that level of the housing building when Anthony opened the door. We got into a big argument and I don't know how I can fix this. We both said things I know we both regret but I don't know how to get this back to normal" Amy explained looking back up

"What did you say to each other?" Roger asked confused

"I asked him why he wasn't being a good friend and to explain his jealousy. Then he asked how and why he would be jealous of my life when I was actually talking about Anthony" she explained and felt Maureen wrap and arm around her shoulders

"I'm sorry sweetie" she said softly

"I know everything said wasn't meant and I shouldn't have gone to see Anthony but I ... all I wanted was to make this day easier for him and I made it a million times worse! I'm the worst human being alive" she muttered placing her head in her hands

"Amy look at me" Roger commanded and she reluctantly did as she was told. "You did something which you realise was a mistake that does not make you a bad person. I'm sure he knows that too but you need to talk to him. I'm sure when you do it'll make the day better for him to cope since he has his friend again" Amy smiled softly. "Come on, let's go"

"Where?" Amy asked confused

"To campus of course, you aren't going to be able to talk to him face to face from here now are you?" Roger asked standing up grabbing his jacket

"But your dinner, it is your valentine's day too"

"It's just another day. Besides I have you to spend with everyday I think it's about time he got you back too" Amy smiled softly

"What about you guys?" Amy asked turning to Tom and Maureen

"I think we can cope" Maureen smiled

"Hey at least we have each other as dates for valentine's day" Tom smiled

"Only if you'll get the bill"

"Why me?" Tom asked

"Hey it's valentine's day! You have to treat a girl" Maureen smiled broadly making Amy giggle. "Go girl, make up with your friend". Amy kissed them both before leaving with Roger, butterflies beginning to flutter in her stomach.

--

After knocking for a few minutes on Nicholas' door and getting no response Amy began to feel worse than ever. She stopped and took a deep breath. "Please Nicholas I know you're in there. I just need to talk to you" A moment of silence fell over the corridor where she stood. She closed her eyes and sank to the floor her back pressed up against the door. "Ok I have to get this off my chest. Anthony and I are not back together it was just something I had to do. I had to talk to him, I had to settle issues and it kills me to know I hurt you. I'm so sorry Nicholas but he is an aspect of my life that I have to deal with and is the one part of me that only I can deal with. I need you in my life like I need him Nicholas and I'm so sorry I made this day even worse for you. I understand if you don't 

want to talk to me or be my friend I just need to know that you are ok. It would kill me if I found you were falling apart" she explained with soft tears rolling down her cheeks

"I'm ok" she heard through the door which made her gasp. She smiled as more tears fell

"Really?" the sound of the door lock being open made her stand up. The door slowly opened and she saw a rather rough looking Nicholas in the doorway. She could tell he had been crying although tears were absent at that moment. They stood in silence

"I'm sorry" they said in unison before looking at each other confused. "What? I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!" they said in unison and both smiled broadly.

"Me first" Amy said quickly beating him from saying the same thing. "I wanted to spend today making this easier for you and I ruined it with my issues. I love that you're my friend and you'd help me with anything but this is my issue I have to deal with. I shouldn't have dragged you into it and I'm sorry"

"I know. I was wrong to make you feel bad. That thing I said about being jealous I just said it without thinking. I didn't mean that I would never think that way about you"

"I know" the two stood in silence. "I had better go"

"No come in, I need to show you something" she did as she was told and saw the lodgings were in a bit of a mess. She could tell since their argument he had stayed indoors. There was food and drink packaging on the floor and tables as well as the coffee table covered in photos and trinkets that belonged to Rose. Seeing those items on the table made her realise just as she could never forget Anthony, Nicholas could never forget Rose.

"Where is Jane?"

"She found a date and went out. She was driving me mad anyway fusing over me. Rose got me something for Valentine's Day, I got it after I ran into you" he explained and handed her a folded letter. She opened it up and began to read aloud

"Dear Mr Dolton. Thank you for your application for summer attendance to the Italian Art and sculpture college. Your sample artwork was both striking and meaningful with a passion and love that we look for in the work of prospective students. It is on that reasoning that we are pleased to inform you that you have received a scholarship for each summer that you attend University in New York" she lowered the letter and looked at him confused. "I don't understand this"

"I visit Europe every summer with my parents and have done since I have done since I was a boy. I love Europe but Italy is my favourite place in the world and I told Rose about this school there. It is an art college which during the summer take on undergraduate students in the middle of their studies to learn about art and improve their skills. It runs all year but these summer courses are so special and really improve the artists that they take on. The students travel around Italy painting the landscapes, make sculptures and drawing of all the amazing sights. I wanted to be a part of it and I guess Rose wanted me to as well. She filled out the application and submitted some of my sample work" he explained

"So you're going away all summer?"

"Yeah it looks like it. I think it will good for me to go. Clear my head a little. My parents are pleased and I know it is what Rose wanted and I got it. I have to go for her" Amy smiled and pulled him into a hug

"Then I'm really happy for you" she felt him cling onto her which would make her even happier but the thought of him going away sank her heart and her smile quickly faded


	18. Chapter 18

**(A/N: Hey everyone! I want to apologise for being away for three months but I hit the writers block wall so hard I've been on life support!!! I haven't written anything since then and now all of a sudden today all I've done is sat at my computer all day and produced this so it is a LONG chapter hehe! I only have a couple of chapters to go on this story and now my writers block is broken I can finally finish it. Thank you to all those who have read and commented my story I really appreciate it and it is official I am back! TKAMB aka Becky)**

**Chapter 18:**

**April 2002**

"Oh my God look at Nicholas as a blonde!" Jane giggled

"Oh thank you very much that makes me feel so much better about trying to pull this off!" he replied making Jane roll her eyes

"Don't listen to her Nicholas I think you look great and it is rather uncanny how much you look like my dad" Amy said trying to calm his nerves

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked making her smile

"Seriously good in every respect because you are going to be great. This is our first dress rehearsal and of course it is going to be weird but after this we will be all set for opening night in two weeks. Relax you are the one that doesn't have to worry about being freaked out how much you all look like my family it is quite creepy!" Amy explained making Nicholas smile nervously, in truth he was nervous at having to kiss Amy for the first time in front of everyone. "Relax you'll be great and I have a present for you both"

"For me?" Nicholas asked

"Present? I think I can relax now" Jane commented making Amy giggle and hand Jane a small box

"I went to each of my family members and asked for an item of theirs which they wore during the time period that the play is set and you get to keep the item. So Jane you get to wear one of Joanne's ties since she always wore one"

"That is so nice thanks" Jane hugged Amy and instantly put it on over the blouse she was wearing. Meanwhile Amy turned to Nicholas holding a large white box.

"My dad took some time to think about what to give you and even he surprised me when he asked me to give this to you" Nicholas opened the box and Amy smiled seeing his mouth fall open in shock. He picked up the garment and held it up in front of his face

"His black leather jacket? Roger Davis is giving me his black leather jacket?"

"Shut up you're kidding me!" Jane said coming to his side

"I don't know what to say"

"Say you'll wear it. My dad really wants you to have it"

"Of course I'll wear it thank you so much" he pulled Amy into a hug and she felt his hold on her to be that of a comforting one. Ever since their argument two months earlier they had been ok with each other but she could sense he was not relaxed. That hug was the first time she felt he was relaxed around her.

"I'm going to go find the others, I can't wait to see what they get to wear" Jane said and rushed off

"So am I going to see how it looks then?" Amy asked and he put on the jacket

"It fits perfectly. I was petrified it wouldn't fit and I'd ruin it or something"

"Don't be silly. I'm glad you like it my dad must really like you to give you that" making Nicholas smile broadly

"I have to thank him myself this is amazing. I wonder how I'll look wearing it on the streets of Italy" Hearing those words sent a sadness through Amy. She hadn't thought about him going away for a while now that made those words more powerful then she thought they could ever be

"You'll have to get a friend to paint a picture of you in it and bring it back to America at the end of the summer" he lowered his head and his smile faded confusing her. "What is it?"

"Amy I have to tell you something" he said in a serious tone and lifted his head. "I need some time alone to figure things out. I've talked to my parents and if I get to the end of summer and decide I need more time alone I'm not going to come back to school"

"You aren't going to finish your degree?"

"Not right away; maybe at a minimum take a year out and see how I feel then"

"A whole year? Does anyone else know?" Amy asked feeling tears fill her eyes

"I told Jane and she doesn't want me to stay in Italy either. She's going to join me as her summer holiday from the beginning of August until the beginning of the school year in September. I need to know that you are ok with this Amy, you are my friend I need to know you'll be here safe and I have your agreement to go if that makes sense" she smiled softly and held back her tears

"I'll miss you so much but I can't let you suffer here if that is how you feel. If you need to go and stay in Italy then I'll support you all the way. I'll want a letter or e-mail at least once a week and pictures of Italy it looks wonderful there"

"It really is. Can't you go Amy? Go with Jane and see the Italy you love so much" she shook her head

"I don't think so. I'm too ill for the journey and my family needs me" an idea came to her mind. "Hey Nicholas could you do me a favour while you're in Italy?"

"Sure anything, just ask"

"I've always wanted to see the fountain of Neptune in Rome located at Piazza Navona. Will you take a picture for me or paint it? It would mean a lot to me if you did"

"Of course I will. How could I deny such a request from my best friend?"

"When do you go?"

"The day after the final show in four weeks. It's going to be weird to not talk to you or Jane when I go but at least I'll be doing something I love" she smiled

"Then how can that be bad?" he pulled her once more into a hug and silently she let the tears flow. Now all she could think about was how long she had to spend time with him before he was to leave.

-----

**May 2002**

The backstage of the university theatre was a buzz. Everyone was finishing their touches on their costumes, make up and warming up their voices while Amy ran around checking everything was alright. "Maurice check the lights, Terry could you make sure that everything is set up on stage for the first scene, Lauren could you find me a bucket I think I'm going to be sick" Amy commanded as she stood in the wings with Jane and Nicholas

"Amy relax you are going to be fine. We are all here, nothing has gone wrong and the place is packed out!" Jane tried to reassure her

"That doesn't stop me panicking" she explained trying to calm down. In truth she was petrified at the thought of kissing Nicholas. In rehearsals they had shied away from doing so, therefore the opening night would be the first time they would kiss in front of hundreds of people.

"Amy, your family has just got here. They are at their reserved seats in the front row" Tim said coming towards them all dressed up like Mark. The rest of the cast were behind him

"Guys come on let's bring it together" Nicholas said and all stood in a circle. "Amy over to you"

"I just want to say thank you for being a part of this show it means so much that you've put up with me this long. So in the next minute the curtain will go up and we can show them what we are made of. So go out there, kick ass and I give you permission to slap me if I get hysterical because I'm so nervous" everyone giggled and they heard the crowd quieten as the lights lowered. "Alright everyone let's do this" She decided to not focus on the prospect of kissing Nicholas and to clear her mind when the moment was to come up.

"Does anyone have any gum I'm nervous?" Maureen asked fidgeting in her seat

"No and if you pop chewing gum all evening you'll drive everyone crazy" Mark replied. "You ok Roger?"

"Yeah ... I think ... Hell I'm nervous too"

"Relax bro it'll be great now sit back and have fun" Tom replied as the lights dimmed. The curtain went up and the audience applauded. Mark covered his mouth in shock and Roger raised an eyebrow seeing Tim and Nicholas portraying them.

_TIM_

_December 24th, Nine PM  
Eastern Standard Time  
From here on in  
I shoot without a script  
See if anything comes of it  
Instead of my old shit_

Everyone giggled breaking the ice and made Tim feel more confident as well as everyone else

_First shot -- Roger  
Tuning the Fender guitar  
He hasn't played in a year_.

ROGER  
This won't tune

MARK  
So we hear  
He's just coming back  
From half a year of withdrawal

ROGER  
Are you talking to me?

MARK  
Not at all  
Are you ready? Hold that focus -- steady  
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ..

Amy peered out through a gap in the curtain to see her family smiling broadly which comforted her the most. She watched them all through the show and watched their emotions change along with the rest of the audience. She watched Roger closely and when she was on stage as Mimi she saw a glint in his eyes that she only saw when he talked of Mimi. Two hours passed by so quickly she couldn't believe it. The finale had everyone in the audience in tears and smiling broadly for what they had achieved

"No Day but Today" everyone sang and held the note but instead of waiting until they finished the audience began to applaud through the note and stood up as they did. All the cast were overwhelmed by such applause and bowed. The eight main character actors stepped forward and a blank screen dropped behind them. After a moment Amy held up her hands to quiet then audience who sat back down.

"Thank you so much for you applause but the story isn't quite finished yet" We have told you about the past for two and a half hours but what about the present? As you know all the characters were based on real people. On the screen behind us will be played real footage of the group and images of how they look now. Al the group have come here tonight and are in the front row. I hope they enjoy this! There will also be a clock in the corner of the screen which we will explain later and we would like you to hold your applause until then. So why don't we start with Mark Cohen" Amy said and the footage began, the clock counted and the music for 'Without You' began to play softly in the background as Tim stepped forward.

"Mark Cohen continued to work for Buzzline for a year when he presented a piece of Saint Joseph's boarding school for girls that heightened his profile. Around this time he met Tamsin who became his wife. His documentaries made him noticed worldwide winning him countless awards and making him a household name. He lives in New York with his wife and two sons and in a month he will become a father once more. Although he can afford the latest camera equipment he carries around and uses the camera that was so precious to him all those years ago. We wish his family health and happiness and we hope he continues with his amazing work" Tim explained and took a step back. Marco who played Angel stepped forward.

"Angel Dumott Schunard sadly passed away from Aids on October 24th 1990 and was laid to rest on October 31st 1990, Halloween which was his favorite holiday. Although we never meet him his passion, spirit and originality will live on forever in the minds and hearts of those who knew and loved him. It could be said that without Angel the group wouldn't have leant the meaning of love, to love and be loved in return. We want to thank all who told us about him and we hope we were able to bring his true spirit to life. We will never forget" Marco explained and took a step back. Carlton who played Tom stepped forward.

"After losing Angel, Tom Collins took time off to grieve. On returning to New York he took a position at New York University where he still works to this day. He is regarded as being one of the best and admired teachers here at the university. His honesty about his sexuality, illness and his past are the things that have made students into friends and a form of support to which students respond to. He has never apologized for his past actions as without them, he and the others may not have had the future which they now possess. The development in Aids medication has allowed him to stay with us and we hope he will stay a little longer. Thank you Professor Collins for letting us tell your story, we admire you even more for doing so" Carlton explained and stepped back. Sampson who played Benny stepped forward.

"Benjamin Coffin III to this day works in the real estate industry. He works for his father in law and is still married to Alison however his estate projects send his focus to the other side of town. After these events took place he has had little contact with the group but he did allow us to depict him in this play. He is not here tonight but we want to thank him for doing so" Sampson explained and stepped back. Annabelle who played Maureen stepped forward.

"Maureen Johnson is still performing protests in her theatrical manner to this day. Her acting and directing talents have meant she has become a creative director of her own theatre company" Annabelle explained as Jane who played Joanne stepped forward and held Annabelle's hand

"Joanne Jefferson's defense for a custody case in 1991 brought her to the media spotlight. Since then she has increased her career profile and is regarded as one of the best lawyers in New York. She has been at the centre of some of the highest profile cases in the state for the past ten years" Jane explained

"They have systematically broken up and gotten back together every month for the past ten years. You could say it is a dysfunctional relationship but it has kept them together" Annabelle added

"We all want to congratulate them both on ten years together and we hope ten more years will follow" Jane added and both her and Annabelle stepped back. Amy stepped forward.

"Mimi Marques died of Aids on February 3rd 1991 in the arms of the man she loved and was laid to rest next to Angel of February 10th 1991. Mimi was admired for her beauty, strength, courage and her ability to make anyone into a friend. She was kind, honest, and generous and was so proud to be friends with the group. She will forever be missed, loved and admired for her actions that formed the basis of the love of her life by those who knew her and those who wished they knew her. We won't forget" Amy explained and stepped back. Nicholas stepped forward.

"Roger Davis only had three months to grieve for Mimi when his four year old daughter entered his life. After a fierce custody battle which he won he and his daughter have dedicated their lives to help others with HIV and Aids which they both suffer from. He began his song writing career with A+M Records and with his first year earnings he bought the building where he and Mark lived from Benny so those who attend Life Support have a place to stay, have food and the support they need all year round. He still lives in the loft with his daughter and the broken door buzzer! Along with the building they both share their passion for song writing and musical in general. His daughters' high IQ has meant she earned her high school diploma at the age of six and now at 15 is here at the university earning a degree in English literature and drama. She wrote, composed, cast and choreographed this show as well as playing the role of Mimi Marques. We want to thank both for their support, insight and sense of humor about this disease and living with it. We hope we made them proud" Nicholas stepped back

"STOP THE CLOCK!" they yelled in unison and looked up to the screen briefly as the clock filled the screen and came to a stop. The music stopped and Amy stepped forward.

"Tonight it has taken us 7 minutes and 32 seconds to update you on the lives of our characters. Now the clock is frozen on that time and shows clearly what our message is. Just because HIV and Aids is not in the public eye today as it was ten years ago it doesn't make the disease fade away. Everywhere, wither you live in a developed country or not thousands of people are living with these diseases. Thousands are also born with it like me. Many suffer in silence and have no chance at a future. Africa is one of the countries in the world where HIV and Aids epidemic has reached a point where it cannot be ignored" Amy explained and Nicholas stepped forward

"It has been found that in countries such as Africa one child dies of HIV and Aids every second with little food, water, shelter and no medication to help ease their suffering. In those 7 minutes and 32 seconds 452 children have lost their lives to these diseases. Combine that number with those of the past two and a half hours that you've been watching us the number comes up to a staggering 9452 lives and the number continues to grow. We weren't able to save them but we can save the lives of their friends, relatives and perhaps an entire generation" Nicholas explained and Jane stepped forward.

"December 1st 1988 was the first National Aids day and on this date every year people across the world raise as much money as they can to help those in need. One dollar can pay for a meal or a blanket or a vaccination. It is the one day that this disease is acknowledged by the world but one day is not enough. With profits from ticket sales, fund-raising events and donations organized by all associated with his show through the year has raised $3000 dollars to give to charities to help those in need. Half of the amount will go to help children in Africa and the other half will go to small organizations such as Life Support which are not well known but do a lot to support the people in their communities" Jane explained and Amy took over with the rest of the speech

"All we ask is for you to tell others about the show so we can increase ticket sales and keep the charity money on the rise rather than the number of perished children. We have also placed buckets around the exits for you to donate to if you wish. When I wrote this show I wanted to present to everyone the values that my dad taught me. First that today may be your last on Earth so live it to the max. Secondly that no one should be made to feel ugly, alone, unloved and isolated due to a disease. These are values which make me so proud to be his daughter" Tim who played Mark stepped forward and began to sing through the silence

_TIM  
There is no future -- there is no past_

NICHOLAS  
Thank God this moment's not the last

They sang perfectly and in time with no music to accompany them displaying their skills and those who had not stepped forward now did so forming them in a straight line clear for all to see

_AMY AND NICHOLAS  
There's only us  
There's only this  
Forget regret or life is yours to miss_

ALL  
No other road no other way  
No day but today

They continued to sing and as the group clapped to form a beat to follow on to the audience did the same

"No day but today" they finished the song and the crowd was on their feet once more. One by one they made their bows with Amy getting the loudest applause. It was only after the curtain fell that she allowed herself to relax.

"That was incredible we are so proud of you" Roger said pulling Amy into a hug once they were out of costume.

"Oh thank God I thought you were going to hate it"

"Hate it? How could I hate it I was amazed that you wrote it so long ago and never told anyone about it! Thank you for writing it you got Mimi and Angel just right you know. I'm really proud of you" Roger hugged her once more that made her feel all the more better. Knowing that her father was pleased was all she longed for. She watched the rest of her family congratulate the rest of the class but Tom sat on a chair alone in the room. Amy walked over and knelt in front of him. "Tell me that you're happy with me" she asked softly and he cupped her face with his hands smiling softly

"I am more than happy ... thank you for bringing him back to me for one more night" she smiled through tears and hugged him softly. "Forgive me I am a little tired. I'll be more talkative in the morning" Those words had more meaning which she connected to. It was his way of saying he wanted to be alone to think about Angel so she nodded

"I understand" she said softly. "So I think we all deserve to party" Amy said to the cast standing up and everyone cheered. "And I have news. The ushers brought the buckets to me as I was changing out of my costume and make up each one overflowing with money so we have more to donate to charity. So bravo to all and I think we should party but not too hard since we have a show tomorrow" everyone cheered again and headed out of the theatre

"You kids go on we'll see you later" Mark said confusing Amy

"Aren't you coming?"

"This is your night not ours, we have our own kind of celebrating to do" mark explained

"We want to remember our friends our way but thank you for making us to remember your way it was amazing" Joanne explained and they all hugged her

"I'll be home in a few hours and I have my cell phone" Amy said before Roger could give his usual fatherly rules to her. He held her close in a tight hug

"See you later kiddo" Amy watched the group go and thought about how they really were all those years ago and how much they had changed

-----

"So did we make you proud then?" Jane yelled towards Amy trying to make her voice heard over the loud music. The group had gone back to Jane and Nicholas's apartment area and were partying heavily with loud music, fast food and alcohol.

"More then I could ever explain! You were all sublime darlings!" she giggled and sat on the sofa next to Nicholas

"Are you alright my leading man?" she asked giggling

"Yeah I'm not bad. Are you alright? You seem a little giggly" he smiled

"Don't tell anyone but I had a little bit of that punch and now I keep feeling like laughing" she explained and took a sip from her cup

"You should do it's spiked with vodka" she fell silent for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. "Hang on a minute something is vibrating" she pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Oh no it's my dad! It's only been an hour" Jane sat down next to Amy

"You better answer it" she said and Amy did as she was told

"Dad? ... What? ... I can't hear you ... hang on" Amy walked across the room and turned off the music much to the annoyance of the group but they soon stopped moaning when Amy held up her hand. "Ok I can hear you now! What's up?" Everyone watched as Amy lowered her hand slowly and her smile faded. "What? When?" she covered her mouth and tears filled her eyes alarming everyone. "Yeah I'll be right there, I'll be as fast as I can" she hung up and looked around the room. "Where is my bag? Have you seen my bag?"

"Amy honey what happened?" Jane asked

"Tom he's in hospital" she said quickly

"What happened?" Tim asked

"Is he ok?" Carlton asked

"I don't know but ... they think he had a stroke" Amy broke down crying and Nicholas pulled her into a hug. "How am I going to get to the hospital? We've been drinking and I can't think straight!"

"I haven't been drinking I'll drive" Annabelle said and Jane threw Annabelle the keys to her car

"Go on ahead to the car park and turn the car around we'll meet you downstairs in a second" Jane said seriously and Annabelle ran off. Jane found Amy's bag and jacket while Amy remained in Nicholas's embrace

"It's going to be ok Amy, he'll be fine" Nicholas said softly into her ear

"Come on honey let's get going" Jane prompted and the two parted but Nicholas kept an arm around Amy's waist to support her upright on the walk to the car. Everyone was in silence the whole car journey, the only thing that could be heard was the occasional sniffle from Amy as she cried into Jane's shoulder in the backseat of the car.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

Amy pulled out her all too familiar black gown from her closet with a sigh. Out of all the times she had worn it she knew this time would be the one that would stick in her memory and send a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She laid it out on her bed before sitting down next to it, feeling comfort by the silence. On that one day which began as one of the best of her life turned into the worst. Tom had died of a stroke when they had gotten back to the loft. By the time Amy had got to the hospital it was too late. Tom died of complications from the stroke which struck his weak heart.

A soft knock at the door made her turn her head and the door opened to reveal Rodger holding a coffee cup. "I thought you might like a hot drink before we go" she smiled softly and her came to her side placing the cup on a nearby table

"I know it sounds crazy but I can still feel him you know? I can still hear his laughter, feel him touch, sense him in the rooms where we like to go" Amy explained as Roger shook his head

"It doesn't sound crazy at all. Are you going to be ok today?" Amy shrugged her shoulders

"Do you know what the last thing he said to me was?"

"No"

"He said he was so happy at what I had done. He thanked me for bringing Angel back to him one more time. At least I can have comfort in that. Comfort for murdering a man I loved"

"Murder?" Roger asked alarmed

"Daddy it's my fault! I killed him. If I hadn't written that play, he wouldn't have come out, he wouldn't have put strain on his already weak body and we wouldn't have had a stroke" Amy explained looking up at Roger

"And if you hadn't then he wouldn't have had such a wonderful time. As you said you brought Angel back to him one last time, he would have given up everything for that Amy. You did nothing wrong, if anything you gave him more life in those couple of hours then he had felt in the past fifteen years. That is something to feel proud of not ashamed in any respect" Roger explained pulling her into a hug

"I can't help the way I feel"

"It will fade with time but know that Tom would hate to know you feel so unhappy. He loved you so much you were the one who shared his heart side by side with Angel. You never disappointed him or gave him any reason to feel bad towards you. I know this is going to be hard but we'll get through it together, all of us"

---

The funeral was a blur to Amy. She didn't sing, stand or speak, just sat silent and still in the pew. She sat between Roger and Mark, every now and the one would wrap an arm around her shoulders or she would feel a squeeze on her shoulder from Jane who sat directly behind her. Occasionally she would feel one squeeze on her shoulder which was different from all the others. It was firm yet gentle and she knew that soft touch. She turned her head and to the left of Jane was Nicholas who smiled softly towards her. When everyone stood to sign and she remained seated she turned her head to see Nicholas sat also. "Are you ok?" he mouthed to which she softly nodded. Tom was buried right next to Angel which somehow comforted Amy, she could sleep comfortably in the knowledge that Tom was now with the one he longed to be with. She placed a long stem white rose on his coffin before it was lowered into the ground as did everyone else. They kept the burial private with only the gang, Amy, Jane, Nicolas and the cast of RENT as they knew the press were nearby waiting for a shot of them which really upset everyone. After the burial everyone began to walk away comforting each other but Amy remained where she was.

"So what do we do now?" Maureen asked as the adults walked towards the cars

"Same as we always do, survive" Roger explained solemnly

"I think we should have a party at the Life Cafe. Remember Tom the way he would have wanted" Mark suggested

"Sounds perfect" Joanne smiled

"Everyone will want to come" Maureen added

"Give him the send off he deserves" Roger added with a soft smile

"First I think we need to do some ground control on something more important Roger" Tamsin said looking back to Amy and everyone looked in her direction. Roger went to walk towards her but Mark stopped him making Roger turn to Mark

"I think she needs some time to herself" Roger turned back to Amy and saw Nicholas approaching her holding one of the roses

"Come on, we have a party to organise" Roger said softly and the group walked away

Amy stared at the grave as Nicholas stopped at her side he handed her the rose which she accepted without turning to him. "I've been thinking about life lately and every time I do I only have one question. Am I next?"

"No you are not Amy; you are too strong to be defeated, you have too much love. I don't know what I would do if you went" Nicholas explained alarmed by her words and she turned to him

"But it is still going to happen to me" tears fell from her eyes and he cupped her face

"It's going to happen to everybody Amy! It's the fundamental thing that we will all share one day. Besides I won't let it happen to you, not now... Amy I have to tell you something" Amy felt her heart beating faster. I don't know how to say this but for the past few months I have felt a connection with you that I don't understand, I don't even know what it is. The only thing I know is that I trust it. I trust you ... I think that I –"

"Stop!" he lowered his hands from her face in alarm unsure what to do. "Please don't say what you're about to; it would truly break my heart if you do"

"I don't understand, I thought you ... After the days of talking, the phone calls, the messages I thought you –" he explained nervously taking a step back

"Nicholas I know what mean, I depend upon that connection too. If I act on it I'll destroy your life also just as you are going to destroy my life"

"I would never destroy you!"

"Yes you would! We would destroy each other. There are no realistic goals for us to reach together. Besides you tell me that you have feelings for me a week before you go off to Italy possibly never coming back knowing that I can't go after you and that you can't stay here! Where does that put me?" she asked angrily wiping her tears away.

"It put you in my heart where you belong!"

"Oh yeah? Ok then tell me Mr smart guy, what is my favourite book? What is my favourite line from that story?" silence fell over the two. "If you can't answer even that then you don't know me at all. I don't want to destroy you so if it means breaking both our hearts to do it, then I guess I don't have a choice. I'm sorry Nicholas, but the first rule I've lived by and witnessed every day of my life is to love the ones you do because you never know when life will end. Now that I've felt it for myself, the love is too precious to trust so I can't let it in. If we were together then there is a chance that you could contract the same fate that I suffer and I couldn't live with myself if you did. In doing this it makes you safe and to know for that I would give anything" she cupped his face and softly kissed his lips never wanting it to end. As they parted she turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm

"No" he begged

"Please let me go before you force me to break both our souls too" she felt his grip loosen and she walked as quick as possible to the cars forcing herself not to look back

---

For the next week Amy and Nicholas only interacted on the stage which was destroying them both especially the scenes in which they had to express their love for each other. Jane acted as the cushion between the two, trying to find a way to get the two to talk but found there was no way for them to do so. The friendship which had brought the three together now tore them apart. Both Amy and Nicolas would reside all day in their rooms or walking around the city trying to find a way to get through the days. They made sure to stay away from areas they knew that they could bump into each other such as the Life Cafe, the park, the campus and even the subway. Even though they spent all that time trying to avoid each other all they wanted was to be together.

---

"It's a girl!" Mark said proudly coming into the waiting room. Maureen, Joanne, Jane and Amy squealed with delight while Roger hugged Mark. Connor and Todd stood next to Mark full of excitement to see their little sister

"Come here daddy Mark" Amy said pulling Mark into a hug

"How does she look?" Maureen asked

"Beautiful, you can come and see for yourself if you like" everyone nodded with excitement and followed Mark into Tamsin's room. Tamsin lay in the hospital bed clutching the little girl in her arms who was sound asleep. Everyone gave Tamsin a hug and took it in turns to hold the little girl

"She is so perfect! What have you decided to call her?" Amy asked standing next to Roger who held the small baby in his arms. Mark and Tamsin looked at each other before turning back to her

"Well that is what we wanted to talk to you two about" Mark indicated to Amy and Roger

"We have thought about it long and hard and we realised something. If it weren't for you two we wouldn't have met. And the one person that caused this wonderful thing was your mother Amy"

"So we were wondering if it's ok with you two if we call her Sarah Amy Cohen" Amy felt tears coming to her eyes and smiled softly

"I don't know what to say except ..." Amy turned to the baby and stroked her hand with her right index finger. The baby responded and grabbed the tip of Amy's finger with her left hand. "Welcome to the world baby Sarah" Mark and Tamsin smiled broadly

"I think it's perfect" Roger added and handed baby Sarah over to Amy

---

"To baby Sarah" Amy said holding up a drink in the Life Cafe which everyone responded to by doing the same

"To baby Sarah" everyone said in unison

"And here is also to the end of RENT" Roger added

"Yeah, the end" Amy muttered taking a sip of her drink. The gang and cast of RENT had gathered together to celebrate both the arrival of baby Sarah and the end of RENT. It was the night that Amy was dreading knowing that Nicholas was going to be there. So far he had not shown his face but she knew it would come soon. The party was well underway and everyone was having a good time except for Amy who sat alone at the bar

"How are you holding up?" Maureen asked coming to Amy's side

"How do you think? I thought my life was going to be easier when I started University but I was so stupid!"

"Amy can I be honest with you?" Maureen asked seriously to which Amy nodded. "You've never got it have you?"

"Got what?" she asked confused

"Amy you could know every fact possible in the world, you could travel every inch and depth of the world but you will never know what it really feels like to love someone"

"Do you believe I am heartless and void of emotion?"Amy asked in shock

"No far from it but you need to trust your heart and listen to what it wants" the door to the Life Cafe opened and Amy watched Nicholas walk through the door holding a large parcel wrapped up in brown paper and greet the others. Amy turned back to Maureen

"You knew when he would be coming didn't you?" Maureen nodded

"I watched you two at Tom's funeral. I know you did the right thing but what does your heart tell you?" silence fell over the two for a moment. "Go and talk to him before it is too late" Amy gave her a quick hug and took a deep breath before walking towards him

"I just wanted to say thanks for everything and since this the last time I'm going to see you again I wanted to do it in person" Nicholas explained talking to Roger

"What? You aren't coming back?" Amy asked in shock and silence fell over everyone. Nicholas turned to face her

"I need to go because if I don't I am going to lose my mind for sure. I'm going to miss you. I wanted to give you this before I head for the airport"

"You are going to Italy right now?" she asked in shock

"Yeah there is nothing to keep me here" Everyone knew those words were harsh but didn't say anything to keep out of the conversation. "I've been working on this for a long time. The more I work on it the more I feel it is not right. I need to stop so leaving in a good enough reason to do so. Just do me a favour and open it after I've gone, consider it a birthday present since I won't be here for it" he handed over the large parcel making tears fill her eyes

"Do you have to go right now? Can't you stay for a drink at least?" he shook his head

"My taxi is waiting for me" she nodded

"Well Nicholas we are really going to miss you and you'll always be welcome in our family" Roger said and shook his hand. Everyone took it in turns to hug him while Amy watched trying to hold back her tears. When it finally came to her turn she didn't want to let him go, preying the moment would never end. Finally he pulled away from her and without another word he stepped out of the Life Cafe. She didn't notice what the others in the room were saying all she noticed was how tender his embrace was

"What did he get you?" Jane asked pulling her out of her thought

"What?" Amy asked

"His present, what did he get you?" Joanne asked

"I um ... I don't know" Amy placed it on one of the bars stools so it was propped up against the edge of the bar

"Well what are you waiting for? Open it" Mark encouraged her as soft tears fell from her eyes. Gingerly she tore open the paper and took a step back. Silence fell over everyone as they stared at the canvas.

"Oh my God" Maureen muttered looking at the picture captured on the canvas.

The picture was a painting of the photograph Nicholas had taken of Amy crying exposing her back to him. The background was painted black to make her stand out. Her form was made up of hundreds of pictures of Amy, her family and all her friends from throughout the year overlapping each other to create her picture. It was so stunning and so beautiful at the same time no one knew what to say or how to react.

"I don't understand the words" Tamsin finally broke the silence

"What words?" Amy asked looking around the canvas

"The words around the canvas edge" she explained

"It says: _I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed_" Roger quoted and Amy covered her mouth in shock. It was her favourite line from her favourite book 'Possession'

"Oh my God he did know Amy" Maureen smiled

"Know what?" Jane asked confused

"Nicholas!" Amy yelled and ran to the door. She ran as fast as she could out of the building, down the road, around the corner and onto the main roads where she came across lines of traffic full of cars but not one taxi. She broke down crying and leant up against a nearby building sinking to the floor. Roger came to her side panting heavily.

"Amy, what is it? Why did you do that?"

"Will you just hold me?" she begged which he complied with and held her closely as she hysterically cried letting out the emotions she had kept bottled up for over a week


	20. Chapter 20

**(A/N: Ok here it is – the final chapter! I apologise for spending so long to get this too you all. I've been writing and re-writing this chapter for months and I finally think I covered everything I want to. I'm still thinking of writing a sequel to this story so look out for it and I'll post the first chapter ASAP. I'm intending on calling it 'The Measure of Life Itself' so keep a look out for it else you can add me for authors alert if you are interested. Thank you so much for the great reviews and the amounts of hits you've made on my story I'm really flattered that you would take the time to read and review. So enjoy and let me know what you think. TKAMB aka Becky) **

**Chapter 20:**

Hours turned to days, then to weeks and before she knew it a month had flown by. The month had been a dull one to say the least. She had spent the majority of it alone either confined to her bedroom or walking alone through New York not knowing where she may end up. She wasn't sleeping like she usually would, often finding herself up all night hardly eating anything either. She was on a new course of medication also which was making her have problems with headaches. Luckily it was only headaches she was suffering from now which her doctors were happy about as the rest of her health was improving but her sleeping and eating habits combined with being alone and her headaches concerned her family. Jane had left to be with her family a week after Nicholas had left which hit Amy hard. Not only had she lost Nicholas she now lost the one person near her age that she regarded as a sister.

"So this is it honey, I'm really going to miss you" Jane said as she held Amy close. The two girls were crying softly not wanting to let go. They stood outside the Life Cafe, Jane's suitcases around them

"Do you have to go?" Amy asked wiping her eyes

"I wish my family were close by Amy but I have to go to them. You understand how family is important; I need to be with them now. I'll be going to Italy in a couple of months to join Nicholas I'll try with all my might to bring him back Amy I promise you that but I can't work miracles. I will try"

"I know you will"

"Here, it's your birthday present. I know it isn't until the beginning of August but since I won't be here I want you to open it now" Jane handed Amy a large box. Jane held it in her arms as Amy lifted the lid and gasped. Inside was a beautiful jade coloured dress with cap sleeve that cut off at the knee. It had an A-line silhouette and a black belt to nip in at the waist. "I saw it and thought you would look perfect in it. I know you've had trouble finding clothing because of your back. That doesn't mean you can't be in style honey. All you need are a pair of heels, a pretty little bag, tie up that hair, throw on same accessories and you'll be ready for the red carpet"

"Thank you so much I love it! See I need you around to show me these things!" Amy commented which brought the reality of Jane's departure back to them.

"I know but I have to go" the girls hugged once more as a taxi pulled up beside the two. Together they put the bags into the boot of the taxi in silence. As Jane opened the door she turned to Amy with a serious look on her face.

"Amy, when I see Nicholas, do you want me to tell him anything?" Amy thought for a moment

"Just tell him ... thank you for everything and I'm ok" Jane nodded and climbed into the car and Amy watched the taxi drive off into the distance not dare moving until it had disappeared from view.

-----

MID JULY

The sound of her mobile phone ringing stirred Amy awake. She rolled over onto her back and blindingly reached across the bedside table feeling around for her mobile. After a moment she finally located it and brought it to her ear. "Hello?" she asked wiping her eyes which were still closed

"Where are you?" it was Roger sounding concerned

"I was sleeping at home if that's alright?" she answered sitting up

"Well you need to get down to the Life Cafe; you should have been here an hour ago. I've been calling every five minutes" he explained and she looked at the clock.. It was 6pm and she gasped. She had fallen asleep just after lunch due to one of her headaches.

"Sorry daddy, I'm not feeling all that great. Make my apologises to the guys I'll be there soon" she hung up grabbed her things and rushed out of the door. She totally forgot that the gang were getting together for a meal and was seriously running late. She thought perhaps Roger would call her back as she travelled but the phone call never came. Silently she travelled across the city occasionally closing her eyes as her headache worsened from the noises of the trams. Despite the fact that it was hot on the subway trains she kept her leather jacket on clung close to her body. She opened the door of the cafe and stepped inside.

"SURPRISE!" Amy took a step back in shock and looked about the room. It was full of her friends and family who were clapping and cheering at her. She saw at the back of the room over the stage was a banner that read 'Happy 16TH Birthday Babycakes'. She looked around the room confused as Roger approached and hugged her.

"I don't understand. My birthday isn't for another two weeks" she said hugging him

"We wanted to get a smile on your face" he explained and she responded with a soft smile

"I guess you got what you wanted"

"How's your head honey?" Mark asked hugging her

"Like I have just had a screw jammed into my temple and someone is slowly rotating it. It's better than it was earlier" she explained softly and soon looked around confused again. "Why are you doing this?"

"We told you honey, we wanted to get a smile on your face" Maureen explained

"You're lying" Amy replied and went to the bar. "Hey Carl, a diet Coke when you're ready and do you have any aspirin?" she asked sitting heavily onto a chair, rested her elbows on the bar and put her head in her hands. Everyone around them went back to the party and was having a good time but Amy didn't notice. She felt as if she and her father were the only ones in the room. "I'm grateful for the party and everything but I know there is something else going on. Tell me please" Amy asked as Roger settled down next to her and she turned to look at him. Without saying a word he pulled out an envelope from his pocket and settled it on the bar in front of her.

Without having to look too closely to the handwriting on the cream envelope she knew the handwriting was Nicholas's. It was addressed to Roger which surprised her. "When?" she asked looking up at him from the envelope

"It arrived three days ago. I haven't replied. I think he just needed to talk to someone so he decided to write to me. He told me everything about what happened between you two. Why didn't you tell me?" Amy thought back to Tom's funeral as Carl the barman settled down her drink and two tablets on the bar in front of her.

"I needed to figure things out for myself daddy. Don't I get to have a piece of privacy?" she asked before swallowing the tablets with a sip on her drink.

"Yes you are entitled to your privacy but when what you are hiding is slowly tearing you apart there is a point where you have to let it out ... He really misses you. He wrote to me because he wanted to know if you were ok. He said that I was the only one who would understand. I couldn't keep this from you like how you kept it from me"

"Don't do that! Don't make me feel guilty because I refuse to" she explained stubbornly. "It is my burden to bare so let me bare it in my own way. That way at the moment is curling up in bed and going to sleep"

"It's not the answer though kiddo" he explained

"It was yours at one time" she added which she instantly regretted it knowing he was only that way after Mimi died, a situation far different from the one she was in. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry daddy ... I just feel so ... angry, alone .... And I'm afraid" she confessed and felt him pull her into a hug.

"Now I know you can have your present because it is time for you to choose" He pulled out a thin box that was about the length of a pencil case out of his back pocket which had a ribbon wrapped around it. She opened the box and saw her passport inside.

"I don't understand"

"You are old enough to know now that you need to decide what happens to you. What your destiny is, so this is your cross road. There comes a point in everyone's life when they need to make a decision that could change everything. This is your cross road. So are you going to go to him or not?"

"But I ... I can't go. I have to stay here. I'm needed here and I'm sure Doctor Barks won't let me go with these headaches and there is also –"

"Also what exactly?" Roger asked crossing his arms and she fell silent unable to answer his question. "I think you are the reason why you won't go. You're too afraid to listen to your heart. Trust in it and decide ... so what will it be?"

-----

**ROME, ITALY**

Standing in front of Neptune's fountain on a beautifully clear day Nicholas couldn't help but feel a little sad. Although his art course around Italy was going well and being in the peace and quiet of the Italia countryside where he was saying did help him deal with his issues. However every now then he would suddenly think of Amy and how he would want her to see what he was seeing and then he was filled with sadness. He watched her walking bare foot through wine vineyards, having coffee under an umbrella at an outside cafe or reading a book on a swing under a beautiful tree, the beautiful Italian architecture behind her.

Being at Neptune's fountain was the place where he felt the worse. He had debated going to it knowing he had made a promise to Amy to photograph or paint it for her. He had made up his mind not to go but every moment he would hear her voice asking for him to go. Now being there was well worth it. He understood why Amy must love the thought of the fountain and marvel at its beauty. The fountain wasn't as busy as he had expected but he had arrived in the middle of the morning which was when the tourist would be beginning to fill the area. He didn't want to take the picture without any people there as he felt that an aspect that made the fountain so wonderful was the people who flock to look at it. He took a few pictures to test the lighting and smiled at the people around him. There was a man selling ice cream, a child running around the pigeons making them fly up into the air and couples walking hand in hand through the streets. He watched a couple as they walked by and smiled softly as the man stopped and bought a rose for the girl from a flower salesman. He continued to watch as his cell phone began to ring in his pocket.

"Hello?" he asked answering it not breaking his gaze upon the couple

"Hey ... it's me" he instantly looked away from the couple hearing Amy's voice. "I wasn't sure what time of day it was over there. Can you talk?"

"Of course I can, I've wanted to talk you to for so long. How are you?" he blurted out before he could stop himself

"I'm ok ... I've been having these really bad headaches lately. The doctor changed my medication and I'm feeling the side effects. Are you alright?"

"I'm doing better now thanks. I've had a lot of time to think. What time is it in New York?"

"Um it's about four am I think. Time has sort of gotten away from me of late" she explained saddened

"Amy are you alright?" he asked concerned. She was silent for a moment and he heard her beginning to cry

"I don't know! I'm sorry for acting like this it's just hearing your voice again it's made me realise how much I've missed it"

"Happy birthday Amy" he replied softly

"What? It's my what?" she asked confused

"It's 1st August, it's your birthday" he added concerned as he had never heard her sound confused about an aspect of her life that was important

"Already? God how did that happen? I could have sworn it was still June! ... I want to thank you for my present it is beautiful. I wish I could tell you that in person. It was perfect; you didn't need to change it at all"

"You wouldn't believe how relieved I am to hear that" he smiled as the flower salesman approached him. He began to ask Nicholas something in Italian to which Nicholas responded also in Italian refusing his sale

"Nicholas, where are you exactly?"

"I'm in Rome taking your picture of Neptune's fountain. I did promise you after all"

"Thank you so much ... I truly don't know what to say. I just wish I was there. It must be beautiful"

"Oh it is. I know you would love it. The architecture is so stunning you have to see it to believe it" he heard her giggle softly which instantly made him smile. Although it was soft and almost silent it was a laugh that filled his ears and stirred memories in his mind

"I wish I could see all the different aspects of Italy. The people sat drinking coffee, an old man sat on a bench eating an ice cream in front of the beautiful architecture ... or perhaps a little girl in a white dress covered in red poker dots running around with other children feeding the birds"

"Yeah well I wi-" he began but stopped as a little girl in a white dress covered in red poker dots came into his view. He watched the girl break of pieces of bread in her hands and toss them to the birds. In shock Nicholas felt his legs go weak so he sat on the edge of the fountain and looked around the area annoyed that tourists were getting in the way of his view

"Or perhaps a girl whose is older but still with a spirit of a child within waiting for someone all alone at the fountain side. A stranger perhaps? Or maybe a friend who she is desperate to see at the fountain where she is waiting?" slowly he turned his head and looked around at the people sat on the fountain. He looked at each and every one of them then froze. One girl was sat with her back to him wearing a Jade dress. Slowly she turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder, soft tears flowing down her cheeks. "Hello stranger" she said softly down the phone. The amount of time it took for the two to stand up and walk towards each other felt somewhat like an eternity. On the way both hung up their phone ending the phone call they had both wanted to have for months. In those minutes of conversation they had both said in their own way everything they had been bottling up all year. Nicholas couldn't help marvel at how beautiful she looked in the dress with black shoes and her hair up in a bun. She looked more stunning then he had ever seen her before.

"Before you say anything I need to say something first. I don't know what is going to happen between us just as I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow but I trust you so I trust that no matter what happens we are going to be ok. So if you are going to stay here in September I'm ok with that but I need to know that you are ok with me and everything so we can move on. So are you ok with that?" he smiled softly and pulled her into a passionate kiss. For several minutes they remained that way, her arms up around his neck his arms around her waist. When they parted she smiled broadly. "I'll take that as a yes" they both laughed

"How did you get here? I thought you weren't well enough"

"I had a talk with my doctors and they approved it. Anyway that is something we can talk about later. I want to hear about everything I've missed and once Jane arrives we won't get a minutes time alone!"

"Well let's not waste another minute" he said and kissed her softly once more

-----

_Dear daddy,_

_I'm not too sure when you will get this letter but when you receive it rest assure that I am safe and well and loving the beautiful Italian landscape. I want to thank you for making me realise that if I didn't take control of my destiny I could spiral out of control. I know I hurt your feelings when I said how lying in bed all day worked for you when Mimi died and I regret it every second of the day. I want you to know that I love you and that I am eternally grateful for this gift you have given me. The Italian climate seems to fit me well. I have hardly any headaches and I am having so much fun with Nicholas and Jane. She was so shocked when I surprised her at a restaurant in Venice. Perhaps one day I will return but it will suit me until I return in September for the new school year._

_Nicholas asked me to add that he is thankful that you spoke with me also. He said it confirmed to him your character and answered the questions in his letter to you. He also says 'I guess you kept your promise' whatever that means. He won't tell me what he means but I know you will and I hope somehow it will bring you comfort. As you have probably guessed Nicholas and I are officially a couple. I hope you approve of this one this time and I promise you can kick his ass if he breaks my heart (Nicholas would like to add that even he would approve of such a beating if he somehow did that!)._

_I have good news, Nicholas has decided to return to New York in September along with me and Jane so you can expect all three of us at the airport. I can't think of anything else to say except that I love you with all of my heart and I will see you at the airport on 1st September. I have included some photos from our trip and will show you the others on our return._

_Send my love to everyone, stay safe and know that even though I'm far away from you my heart is with you always. All my love_

_Amy_

_-x-_

Roger couldn't help smiling at the letter. It was the first time in months he could sense her true joy even though they were written on a page rather than spoken. He flicked through the photographs taken by the three and smiled at the sight of Amy smiling. One picture near the end of the collection caught his attention which would not turn away. It was a picture of Amy and Nicholas taken at arm's length by Nicholas and was up close to their faces. Both were laughing and Amy had her eyes closed as she laughed her face pressed up against his. It instantly reminded him of the photo of him and Amy's mother Sarah when they were the same age. At last he was safe in the knowledge that he had made Sarah proud of how he had raised Amy as she had someone she loved and trusted in her life and was worth holding onto for the rest of her life. A value that Sarah always wanted for her daughter and she could now rest in peace knowing the wish for her daughter had come true.


End file.
